Welcome

Welcome
John William Tuohy lives in Washington DC

LAUGH AT WILL




A grasshopper walks into a bar and hops up on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says; "We have a drink named after you."
The grasshopper replies; "You have a drink named Kevin?"


Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed, so his friend calls 911.
"My friend is dead! What should I do?"
The operator replies, "Calm down, sir. I can help. First make sure that he's dead." There's a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"


One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid – the parrot was his at last!
As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the auctioneer, “I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can’t talk!”
“Don’t worry.” said the Auctioneer, “He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?”


Little Johnny was practicing the violin in the living room, while his father was trying to read. The family dog was at there too, and, on hearing the screeching sounds, began to howl. Johnny’s father listened to the dog and the violin for as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his newspaper on the floor and yelled, For God’s sake, can’t you play something the dog doesn’t know?


A church pastor went to a hospital to visit a man from his congregation who was gravely ill. When he entered the room, he found several family members were also there. The patient had a breathing tube in his throat so was unable to speak. He beckoned the minister to his bedside and motioned for a pencil and paper.
He scribbled a note on the paper, handed it to the preacher and immediately expired. In the confusion that followed, the pastor, who was busy consoling the family, put the note in his suit pocket and forgot about it. Some days later, he was officiating at the funeral and was wearing the same suit.
During the eulogy he happened to put his hand in his pocket and brought out the forgotten note. Stopping in mid-sentence he held up the note and said to the crowd, "Folks, I have here Charlie's last words on earth." He told them of the scene in the hospital room and said, "I had forgotten about this note until this very moment. Let's see what Charlie's message was as he departed from this world." Opening the note he read, "YOU"RE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN HOSE!"



What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
 A Doberman.

A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots. One for me and one for my best buddy."
Bartender says, "You want them both now or do you want me to wait until your buddy arrives to pour his?"
The guy says, "Oh, I want them both now. I've got my best buddy in my pocket here." and he pulls a little 3 inch man out of his pocket.
The bartender asks "You mean to say, He can drink that much?" "Oh, sure. He can drink it all, and then some." the man retorted.
So the bartender pours the 2 shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up.
"That's amazing" says the bartender. "What else can he do, can he walk?"
The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Rodney, Go fetch that quarter." The little guy runs down to the end of the bar, picks up the quarter, and runs back down and gives it to the man.
The bartender is in total shock. "That's amazing" he says, "What else can he do? Does he talk?"
The man looks up at the bartender with a look of surprise in his eye and squawks "Talk? Sure he talks.
Hey, Rodney, tell him about that time we were in down in Africa, on safari, hunting and you called that native Witch doctor an idiot”


A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything.
The shop owner suggests a faithful dog.
The man replies, "Come on, a dog?"
The owner says, "How about a cat?"
The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!"
The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've got it! A centipede!"
The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay... I'll try a centipede."
He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, "Clean the kitchen."
Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and... it's immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away; the counter-tops cleaned; the appliances sparkling; the floor waxed. He's absolutely amazed.
He says to the centipede, "Go clean the living room."
Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted; the pillows on the sofa plumped; plants watered.
The man thinks to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!"
Next he says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper."
The centipede walks out the door. 45 minutes later... still no centipede!
So he goes to the front door, opens it ... and there's the centipede sitting right outside.
The man says, "Hey!!! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What's the matter?!"
The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm just puttin' on my shoes!"



The Zen master steps up to the hot dog stand and says: "Make me one with everything."
The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen master, who pays with a $20 bill. The hot dog vendor puts the bill in the cash drawer and closes the drawer.
"Where's my change?" asks the Zen master.
And the hot dog vendor responds, "Change must come from within."



A biology teacher wished to demonstrate to his students the harmful effects of alcohol on living organisms. For his experiment, he showed them a beaker with pond water in which there was a thriving civilization of worms. When he added some alcohol into the beaker the worms doubled-up and died.
"Now," he said,” what do you learn from this?"
An eager student gave his answer.
"Well the answer is obvious," he said " if you drink alcohol, you'll never have worms."


A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell of a house. Even when he jumped up, he couldn't quite reach it.The man decided to help the boy, walked up on to the porch and pushed the doorbell. He looked down at the boy, smiled and asked, "What now?"
The boy answered, "Now we run like crazy!"


This guy goes into a doctor's office. The doctor says, "Oh, Mr. Jones! We have the results of your test. Do you want the bad news first or the very bad news?" The guy shrugs and says, "Well I guess I'll have the bad news first." "Well the bad news is, you have 24 hours to live," the doctor replies. The man is distraught, "24 hours to live? That's horrible! What could be worse than that? What's the VERY bad news?" The doctor folds his hands and sighs, "The very bad news is...I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."

A millionaire throws a massive party for his 50th birthday. During this party, he grabs the microphone and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it.
"I will give anything of mine to the man who swims across that pool."
So the party continues with no events in the pool until SUDDENLY, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.
In the pool a man is swimming as hard as he can and fins come out of the water and jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going. The sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and gets out of the pool, tired and soaked. The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, "I am a man of my word. Anything of mine I will give: my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?" The guy grabs the microphone and says, "Why don't we start with the name of the jerk who pushed me in!"



An Antartian boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.
The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.
The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, "Go get your mother."


It was two o'clock in the morning and a husband and wife were asleep, when suddenly the phone rang.
The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello? ... How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?" -- and promptly slammed the phone down.
His wife rolls over and asks, "Who was that?"
The husband replies, I don’t know. Some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear.




A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder. She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up.
After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of almonds. She repeats this gesture about eight times.
At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they don't eat the almonds themselves, whereupon she replies that it is not possible because of their old teeth, they are not able to chew them. "Why do you buy them then?" he asks puzzled. Whereupon the old lady Answers, "We just love the chocolate around them."


A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?"
The girl says, "I don't like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn't dance with you."
The guy says, "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."


 A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the
Pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some Cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law!
I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail!
All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied,

"Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."







The misspoken word


"I've made a couple of mistakes I'd like to do over."

I've left a path of destruction behind me.

Cross my legs and hope to die!"

"He's the cream of the corn."

"There are too many cooks in the broth."

"The short answer is 'Yes.' The long answer is 'No.'"

"Looks like I've spent the day chasing a wild herring!"

"We are the glue that keeps things moving."

"You're barking up a dead tree."

"That's not his cup of cake."

"You don't want to shoot yourself in the foot because you might want to take a walk later."

"Shut your mouth and eat your dinner."

"I love being spontaneous. I just need a little warning."

"We ought to make the pie higher."

"Golf is a game that is 90% mental and 10% mental."

"Being in a hurry is a complete waste of time."

"That guy smokes like a fish!"

"You can't pull the sheep over my eyes!"

"I wasn't rich like you guys. I didn't eat gold or have a flying pony."

"After my C-section, the only thing I was allowed to drink was liquids."

"All old people should be shot at birth."

"He's as sharp as a new penny."

"I know that area of town like the back of my head."

"She's like the pot calling the kettle a frying pan."

"She used enough scotch tape to feed a third world country."

"That really burns my goat!"

"You shouldn't let people get under your goat."

"I'm sweating like a bullet."

"It's like six of one and two dozen of the other."

"I hate to throw cold water on your bubble."

"I just got my car fixed and it's runnin' like a dime."

"That really raises the shackles on my neck."

"I'm optimistic but my optimistics is on the other side of the teeter-totter."

"We gotta get our soup and nuts together."

"I'm trying to contain an outbreak, and you're driving the monkey to the airport!"

"I used to be as sharp as a button."

"That'll put the monkey in your court."

"It was time to separate the wheat from the baby."

"You're only smart on the outside."

"I guess you're just AOL."

"If we can't lead them with a stick, we are going to have to beat them with a carrot."

"Not everything that shines is baloney."

"You're opening a complete can of Pandora's worms there."

"Monday morning the fan is going to hit the roof."

"It sounds like sour milk, and I don't like the smell of it."

"I don't want to put all my monkeys in one barrel."

"We've got to dig our way out of this puppy."

"In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed horse is king!"

"You're a minefield of information."

"Looks like he's thrown a wrench in the monkey works."

“You don't want to put all your legs under one blanket.”

"I can't do it in the spur of a hat."

"That really burns my craw!"

"A two-prawn approach is necessary."

"He won't last, he's just a flash in the pants."

"You gotta walk with your pants on."

"Can I pick your ear?"

"I don't want to shoot myself in the hip."

"A little pain never hurt anyone."

"Is everyone else in the world a moron, or is it just me?"

"I can't come in to work because I need to have an autopsy."

"I don't feel like the sharpest button on the beach today."

"You have to keep all your marbles in the same duck."

"We don't want to screw ourselves in the foot."

"I feel like I'm beating my head against a dead horse."

"The ball is in his camp now."

"We need to get our ducks in the fire."

"Whatever rubs your boat!"

"You know I’m just pulling your lamb."

"If you fall and break your leg, don't come running to me!"

"They need to get all their ducks in one sock."

"We don't want to go barking up a dead horse."

"We're going to come out of this smelling like geniuses!"

"The ball is squarely on our shoulders."

"The best way to learn is from the school of Fort Knox."

"Make sure you cross your p's and q's."

"Throw that monkey back over the fence."

"She really rubs me up the wrong tree."

"Well, I'm just busier than a one-armed naked man."

"He had all of his ducks in one sock."

"I've just got my feet in too many pies right now."

"This thing is about to grow legs and take off...."

"Are you going to call the whole kettle black because of one bad potato?"

"If we do that we'll open up a whole new wormhole."

"Will everyone stop misundermining me!"

"I'd like to be a fish on the wall at that meeting."

"He was slow as Moses."

"I am sick and tired of the lack of disrespect towards me!"

"My arms were knee-deep in mud."

"'I see,' said the blind man to the fly.”

"We need to find a solution, even if it isn't the right one."

"Hey, don't eat the messenger!"

"It's only when this business comes into the foreplay that we should be concerned."

"We're going to have to watch that with a fine-tooth comb."

"..that's what really separates the wheat from the sheep."

"He's not the brightest brick in the basket."

"Don't worry; I've got an ace up my hole."

"He's not the brightest cookie in the lamp."

"You planted the seed, and I ran with it."

“I swear on my dog's breakfast!”

"If there was a rainbow at night, how would you know it was there?"

"Just because he's our landlord doesn't mean he owns the place."

"All old people should be shot at birth."

"I know that area of town like the back of my head."

"That's the carrot at the end of the tunnel."

"Vision is in the eyes of the beholder."

"Eventually, I want it now."

"In the last year, you've turned around 150%."

"It was a huge incontinence for me."

"I was already squeezing the buffalo."

"I think we're on the same page here, just different parts of the page."

"I think you might have hit the nail on the button."

"I'm caught between a rock and a wet spot."

"I was thinking about you in the shower this morning and I thought of a name for you."

"If you have that, the world is your walrus."

"It was jumping up and down like a sieve."

"I've got ears like a hawk."

"This guy's sharp as a cookie."

"I had too many hands in the fire."

"He's between a rock and a hotplate."

"It depends whether you are drinking from the side of the glass that is half-full or half-empty."

"I don't need a compass to tell me which way the wind shines!"

"It's like the blind talking to the blind!"

"She's not the brightest tree in the forest."

"I need a trash compactor because my garbage is too heavy to carry up the driveway."

"Cut the cake a different way and go for the lowest hanging fruit."

"Now, I do not want to toot my own wagon."

"He's not the brightest cookie in the lamp."

"We'd be biting off a new can of worms."

"Well, it's no skin off MY teeth!"

"That's just cutting your throat to spite your face."

"Remember! There is no 'I' in 'Team Spirit'!"

"If you can't finish the job on time, that'll really put a wrinkle in your feather."

"'Usually' only counts in horseshoes."

"I wouldn't trust them with a nine foot pole."

"Everything has been peaches and gravy."

"You're getting too clever for your own boots!"

"Then I figured that something was rotten in Denver."

"I'll be straight as a doorknob with you."

"Open your mouth and shut your ears when I'm talking to you."

"He couldn't find his way out of a paper bag if it bit him."

"They dropped the apple cart, now it's up to us to get it back on the tracks."

"We'll be done by the schedule date, maybe later."

"We are going to have to put all our oars in the fire for this project."

"That really throws a monkey at the wrench..."

"She's totally green under the collar."

"You don't want me down here breathing down your throats."

"I didn't think it would be a good idea to rattle the barrel."

"That floor is so clean you could comb your hair off of it."

"He is always robbing Peter Paul to pay Mary."

"It's good to get a taste of someone else's moccasins!"

"This is for your FYI."

"We definitely don't want to nail ourselves into a corner."

"I'm not the brightest bean in the hole."

"I want quality, not quantity; but lots of it."

"Don't look for a gift in the horse's mouth."

"I'm doing this just to break up the mahogany."

"We need to iron out our bread and butter."

"I think we should go for the whole ball of wood."

"Each of you pitched a home run today!"

"I usually dealt with him using felt-tipped gloves."

"It's an exercise in fertility."

"Hindsight is 50-50."

"You are never going to fail unless you try."

"We're scraping the bottom of the iceberg."

"Today is like the day Rome was built in. We can't afford to have any fiddlers."

"He might be barking at a red herring."

"He was smoking like a fish."

"He's as deaf as a bat."

"We don't want to stick our necks out and get our asses chopped off."

"I didn't have two dimes to pee on."

"I gave him a real mouthful."

"I really took the bull by the hands."

"He doesn't know his hole from an ass in the ground."

"I can't remember but it's right on the tip of my head!"

"You can lead a pig to pearls..."

"Thanksgiving is early this year because the first Thursday fell on a Monday."

"The skeleton is there. You just have to sharpen it and put the decorations on the tree."

"He would give you the shoes off his back."

"That question was so easy I could have answered it blindfolded."

"We're going to clean the competition's lunch."

"We've baked our cake, now we have to eat it."

"I want 24 x 7 availability, 5 days a week."

"The phone was ringing off its hinges."

"I didn't want to stir the apple cart."

"It was so quiet you could hear a needle drop in a haystack."

"I don't put my chickens before the horse."

"It was time to get the train out of the harbor."

"I didn't have many bullets left in the tank."

"I was shooting at straws."

"I was running on exhaustion fumes."

"I was looking for a seed that would get it over the hump."

"I didn't want to sit in the hotbox with my fingers in my ears."

"It's water under the dam now."

"I put the ball in the other shoe."

"That took the steam out of my sails."

"No point in making a molehill out of an elephant!"

"You can try, but it's like waiting for toast to boil."

"Can you tell me when my past due amount is due?"

"Eventually the penny will come home to roost."


"You are the wind beneath my cheeks."             

So lets talk. Who are you again?


The Quotable Artist


Mary Cassatt

Women should be someone and not something.


Marc Chagall

Mine alone is the country of my soul.

If I create from the heart, nearly everything works; if from the head, almost nothing.

Love and fantasy, go hand in hand.

Color is all. When color is right, form is right. Color is everything, color is vibration like music; everything is vibration.

All colors are the friends of their neighbors and the lovers of their opposites.

In our life there is a single color, as on an artist palette which provides the meaning of life and art. It is the color of love.

What a genius, that Picasso. It is a pity he doesn't paint.

I have always painted pictures where human love floods my colors.

Changes in societal structure and in art would possess more creditbility if they had their origins in the soul & spirit. If people read the words of the prophets with closer attention, they would find the keys to life.

I had only to open my bedroom window, and blue air, love, and flowers entered with her.

Only love interests me, and I am only in contact with things I love.

I am a child who is getting on.

In the arts, as in life, everything is possible provided it is based on love.

Art seems to me to be a state of soul more than anything else.


Salvador Dali


Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.

Surrealism is destructive, but it destroys only what it considers to be shackles limiting our vision.

The only difference between me and a madman is I'm not mad.

Take me, I am the drug; take me, I am hallucinogenic

The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was obviously a poet; the first to repeat it was possibly an idiot.

The thermometer of success is merely the jealousy of the malcontents.

One day it will have to be officially admitted that what we have christened reality is an even greater illusion than the world of dreams.

The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.

It is not necessary for the public to know whether I am joking or whether I am serious, just as it is not necessary for me to know it myself.

Mistakes are almost always of a sacred nature. Never try to correct them. On the contrary: rationalize them, understand them thoroughly. After that, it will be possible for you to sublimate them.

Let my enemies devour each other

Drawing is the honesty of the art. There is no possibility of cheating: It is either good or bad. 

The secret of my influence has always been that it remained secret.

Everything alters me, but nothing changes me.

Everyone should eat hashish, but only once.

What is a television apparatus to man, who has only to shut his eyes to see the most inaccessible regions of the seen and the never seen, who has only to imagine in order to pierce through walls and cause all the planetary Baghdads of his dreams to rise from the dust.

I do not understand why, when I ask for grilled lobster in a restaurant, I'm never served a cooked telephone.

There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction.

This grandiose tragedy that we call modern art.

We are all hungry and thirsty for concrete images. Abstract art will have been good for one thing: to restore its exact virginity to figurative art.

When I paint, the Sea Roars...Others Splash about in the bath

New skin, a new land! And a land of liberty, if that is possible! I chose the geology of a land that was new to me, and that was young, virgin, and without drama, that of America. I traveled in America, but instead of romantically and directly rubbing the snakeskin of my body against the asperities of its terrain, I preferred to peel protected within the armor of the gleaming black crustacean of a Cadillac which I gave Gala as a present. Nevertheless all the men who admire and the women who are in love with my old skin will easily be able to find its remnants in shredded pieces of various sizes scattered to the winds along the roads from New York via Pittsburgh to California. I have peeled with every wind; pieces of my skin have remained caught here and there along my way, scattered through that promised land which is America; certain pieces of this skin have remained hanging in the spiny vegetation of the Arizona desert, along the trails where I galloped on horseback, where I got rid of all my former Aristotelian planetary notions. Other pieces of my skin have remained spread out like tablecloths without food on the summits of the rocky masses by which one reaches the Salt Lake, in which the hard passion of the Mormons saluted in me the European phantom of Apollinaire. Still other pieces have remained suspended along the antediluvian bridge of San Francisco, where I saw in passing the ten thousand most beautiful virgins in America, completely naked, standing in line on each side of me as I passed, like two rows of organ-pipes of angelic flesh with cowrie-shell sea vulvas.

Don't bother about being modern, unfortunately it is the only thing that, whatever you do you cannot avoid.

Do I take drugs? I am the drug.

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since.

An elegant woman is a woman who despises you and has no hair under her arms.

Each morning when I awake, I experience again a supreme pleasure: that of being Salvador Dali.

A true artist is not one who is inspired, but one who inspires others.

Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.


Leonardo da Vinci


 Painting is poetry that is seen rather than felt, and poetry is painting that is felt rather than seen.

A painter should begin every canvas with a wash of black, because all things in nature are dark except where exposed by the light.

Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in.

It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.

The painter has the Universe in his mind and hands.

One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.

Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.

Nothing can be loved or hated unless it is first understood.

I love those who can smile in trouble...

The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding.

The smallest feline is a masterpiece.

As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death.

I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death

Art is never finished, only abandoned.

If you are alone you belong entirely to yourself. If you are accompanied by even one companion you belong only half to yourself or even less in proportion to the thoughtlessness of his conduct and if you have more than one companion you will fall more deeply into the same plight.

The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.

I have from an early age abjured the use of meat, and the time will come when men such as I will look upon the murder of animals as they now look upon the murder of men.

The function of muscle is to pull and not to push, except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.

Learning never exhausts the mind.

There are three classes of people: those who see. Those who see when they are shown. Those who do not see.

The knowledge of all things is possible

I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. 

Being willing is not enough; we must do.

As you cannot do what you want,

Want what you can do

The deeper the feeling, the greater the pain

It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.

Principles for the Development of a Complete Mind: Study the science of art. Study the art of science. Develop your senses- especially learn how to see. Realize that everything connects to everything else.

Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgment will be surer. Go some distance away because then the work appears smaller and more of it can be taken in at a glance and a lack of harmony and proportion is more readily seen.

One has no right to love or hate anything if one has not acquired a thorough knowledge of its nature. Great love springs from great knowledge of the beloved object, and if you know it but little you will be able to love it only a little or not at all.

Where the spirit does not work with the hand, there is no art.

The artist sees what others only catch a glimpse of.

While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.

Time stays long enough for those who use it.

Intellectual passion drives out sensuality. 

Iron rusts from disuse, stagnant water loses its purity, and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigors of the mind.

Life without love, is no life at all

Patience serves as a protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold. For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases, it will have no power to hurt you. So in like manner you must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will then be powerless to vex your mind.

The time will come when men such as I will look upon the murder of animals as they now look on the murder of men.

All our knowledge has its origin in our perceptions

I have offended God and mankind because my work didn't reach the quality it should have.

He who thinks little errs much…

All sciences are vain and full of errors that are not born of Experience, the mother of all 
Knowledge.

Water is the driving force in nature.

God sells us all things at the price of labor.

Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!

A poet knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

Our life is made by the death of others.

Once you have tasted the taste of sky, you will forever look up

He who possesses most must be most afraid of loss.

Realize that everything connects to everything else.

Make your work to be in keeping with your purpose

The average human looks without seeing, listens without hearing, touches without feeling, eats without tasting, moves without physical awareness, inhales without awareness of odour or fragrance, and talks without thinking.

You will never have a greater or lesser dominion than that over yourself...the height of a man's success is gauged by his self-mastery; the depth of his failure by his self-abandonment. ...And this law is the expression of eternal justice. He who cannot establish dominion over himself will have no dominion over others.

Obstacles cannot crush me; every obstacle yields to stern resolve.

He who loves practice without theory is like the sailor who boards ship without a rudder and compass and never knows where he may cast.

He who wishes to be rich within a day, will be hanged within a year.

He who does not oppose evil......commands it to be done.

In rivers, the water that you touch is the last of what has passed and the first of that which comes; so with present time.

My body will not be a tomb for other creatures.

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.

Art is the queen of all sciences communicating knowledge to all the generations of the world.

The acquisition of knowledge is always of use to the intellect, because it may thus drive out useless things and retain the good. For nothing can be loved or hated unless it is first known.

Why does the eye see more clearly when asleep than the imagination when awake?

While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.

Truth at last cannot be hidden. Dissimulation is of no avail. Dissimulation is to no purpose before so great a judge. Falsehood puts on a mask. Nothing is hidden under the sun.

Learning is the only thing the mind never exhausts, never fears, and never regrets.

The mind that engages in subjects of too great variety becomes confused and weakened.

Many have made a trade of delusions and false miracles, deceiving the stupid multitudes.

While human ingenuity may devise various inventions to the same ends, it will never devise anything more beautiful, nor more simple, nor more to the purpose than nature does, because in her inventions nothing is lacking and nothing is superfluous.

Learn how to see. Realize that everything connects to everything else.

Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory.

As every divided kingdom falls, so every mind divided between many studies confounds and saps itself.

The painter will produce pictures of little merit if he takes the works of others as his standard.

Man has much power of discourse which for the most part is vain and false; animals have but little, but it is useful and true, and a small truth is better than a great lie.

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. So we must stretch ourselves to the very limits of human possibility. Anything less is a sin against both God and man.

Experience does not err; only your judgments err by expecting from her what is not in her power.

Men of lofty genius when they are doing the least work are most active.

Those who, in debate, appeal to their qualifications, argue from memory, not from understanding.

We must doubt the certainty of everything which passes through the senses, but how much more ought we to doubt things contrary to the senses, such as the existence of God and the soul.

What is fair in men, passes away, but not so in art

He is a poor pupil who does not go beyond his master.

A well-spent day brings happy sleep

Details make perfection, and perfection is not a detail.

There are three classes of people: those who see, those who see when they are shown, those who do not see.

Simplicity is the best sophistication

Having wandered some distance among gloomy rocks, I came to the entrance of a great cavern ... Two contrary emotions arose in me: fear and desire--fear of the threatening dark cavern, desire to see whether there were any marvelous things in it.

Truly man is the king of beasts, for his brutality exceeds them. We live by the death of others. We are burial places.

He who does not punish evil, commands it to be done.

The human bird shall take his first flight, filling the words with amazement all writings with his fame, and bringing eternal glory to those whose nest whence he sprang.

He who truly knows has no occasion to shout.

Experience is never at fault; it is only your judgment that is in error, in promising itself such results from experience as are not caused by our experiments. For having given a beginning, what follows from it must necessarily be a natural development of such a beginning, unless it has been subject to a contrary influence, while, if it is affected by any contrary influence, the result which ought to follow from the aforesaid beginning, will be found to partake of this contrary influence in a greater or lesser degree in proportion as the said influence is more or less powerful than the aforesaid beginning.

The organ of perception acts more readily than judgment.

Wisdom is the daughter of experience

The eye sees a thing more clearly in dreams, than the imagination awake.

The worst evil which can befall the artist is that his work should appear good in his own eyes.

It is an acknowledged fact that we perceive errors in the work of others more readily than in our own.

If you find from your own experience that something is a fact and it contradicts what some authority has written down, then you must abandon the authority and base your reasoning on your own findings.

Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.

All our knowledge hast its origins in our perceptions … In nature there is no effect without a cause … Experience never errs; it is only your judgments that err by promising themselves effects such as are not caused by your experiments … Science is the observation of things possible, whether present or past; prescience is the knowledge of things which may come to pass.

Simplicity is the ultimate form of sophistication.

To me it seems that those sciences are vain and full of error which are not born of experience, mother of all certainty, first-hand experience which in its origins, or means, or end has passed through one of the five senses. And if we doubt the certainty of everything which passes through the senses, how much more ought we to doubt things contrary to these senses – ribelli ad essi sensi – such as the existence of God or of the soul or similar things over which there is always dispute and contention. And in fact it happens that whenever reason is wanting men to cry out against one another, which does not happen with certainties. For this reason we shall say that where the cry of controversy is heard, there is no true science, because the truth has one single end and when this is published, argument is destroyed forever.

The supreme misfortune is when theory outstrips performance

And you who wish to represent by words the form of man and all the aspects of his membrification, relinquish that idea. For the more minutely you describe the more you will confine the mind of the reader, and the more you will keep him from the knowledge of the thing described. And so it is necessary to draw and to describe.

A wave is never found alone, but is mingled with the other waves.

He who can copy can do.

Just as a well-filled day brings blessed sleep, so a well-employed life brings a blessed death.

When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the Earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.

Our life is made by the death of others

If the painter wishes to see beauties that charm him, it lies in his power to create them, and if he wishes to see monstrosities that are frightful, ridiculous, or truly pitiable, he is lord and God thereof.

Iron rusts from disuse; water loses its purity from stagnation... even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.

I awoke only to find that the rest of the world was still asleep.

If the painter has clumsy hands, he will be apt to introduce them into his works, and so of any other part of his person, which may not happen to be so beautiful as it ought to be. He must, therefore, guard particularly against that self-love, or too good opinion of his own person, and study by every means to acquire the knowledge of what is most beautiful, and of his own defects, that he may adopt the one and avoid the other.

Why does the eye see a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination when awake?

I abhor the supreme folly of those who blame the disciples of nature in defiance of those masters who were themselves her pupils

...the love of anything is the offspring of knowledge, love being more fervent in proportion as knowledge is more certain. And this certainty springs from a complete knowledge of all parts which united compose the whole of the thing which out to be loved.

How may paintings have preserved the image of a divine beauty which in its natural manifestation has been rapidly overtaken by time or death. Thus, the work of the painter is nobler than that of nature, its mistress.

The draperies that clothe figures must show that they are inhabited by these figures, enveloping them neatly to show the posture and motion of such figures, and avoiding the confusion of many folds, especially over the prominent parts, so that these may be evident

The water you touch in a river is the last of that which has passed, and the first of that which is coming. Thus it is with time present.

Life, if well spent, is long.

If there's no love, what then?

Although a man be not a painter, he may have just opinions of the forms of men.

We respect him by learning from him — Freud on Leonardo Da Vinci

In time and with water, everything changes

Blinding ignorance does mislead us.

O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!

Look at walls splashed with a number of stains, or stones of various mixed colors. If you have to invent some scene, you can see there resemblances to a number of landscapes, adorned with mountains, rivers, rocks, trees, great plains, valleys and hills, in various ways. 

Also you can see various battles, and lively postures of strange figures, expressions on faces, costumes and an infinite number of things, which you can reduce to good integrated form. 

This happens on such walls and varicolored stones, which act like the sound of bells, in whose peeling you can find every name and word that you can imagine.

Do not despise my opinion, when I remind you that it should not hard for you to stop sometimes and look into the stains of walls, or the ashes of a fire, or clouds, or mud or like places, in which, if you consider them well, you may find really marvelous ideas. The mind of the painter is stimulated to new discoveries, the composition of battles of animals and men, various compositions of landscapes and monstrous things, such as devils and similar things, which may bring you honor, because by indistinct things the mind is stimulated to new inventions.


Edward Hopper

If you could say it in words, there would be no reason to paint.

Great art is the outward expression of an inner life in the artist, and this inner life will result in his personal vision of the world.

More of me comes out when I improvise.

No amount of skillful invention can replace the essential element of imagination.

The only real influence I've ever had is myself.


Robert Hughes

The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize.


Henri Matisse

From the moment I held the box of colors in my hands, I knew this was my life. I threw myself into it like a beast that plunges towards the thing it loves.

The importance of an artist is to be measured by the quantity of new signs which he has introduced to the language of art.

Without hard work, talent is not enough

I do not distinguish between the construction of a book and that of a painting and I always proceed from the simple to the complex.

Creativity takes courage. 

There are always flowers for those who want to see them.

I didn't expect to recover from my second operation but since I did, I consider that I'm living on borrowed time. Every day that dawns is a gift to me and I take it in that way. I accept it gratefully without looking beyond it. I completely forget my physical suffering and all the unpleasantness of my present condition and I think only of the joy of seeing the sun rise once more and of being able to work a little bit, even under difficult conditions.

We ought to view ourselves with the same curiosity and openness with which we study a tree, the sky or a thought, because we too are linked to the entire universe.

To look at something as though we had never seen it before requires great courage.
You must forget all your theories, all your ideas before the subject. What part of these is really your own will be expressed in your expression of the emotion awakened in you by the subject.

...for whether we want to or not, we belong to our time and we share in its opinions, its feelings, even its delusions.

Another word for creativity is courage.

You study, you learn, but you guard the original naïveté. It has to be within you, as desire for drink is within the drunkard or love is within the lover.

Nothing can be accomplished without love. 

Exactitude is not truth.

I don't know whether I believe in God or not. I think, really, I'm some kind of a Buddhist. But the essential thing is to put oneself in a frame of mind which is close to that of prayer.

I am unable to distinguish between the feeling I have for life and my way of expressing it.

To arrive is to be in prison.

Time extracts various values from a painter's work. When these values are exhausted the pictures are forgotten, and the more a picture has to give, the greater it is.

Whoever wishes to devote himself to painting should begin by cutting out his own tongue

Derive happiness in oneself from a good day’s work, from illumination the fog that surround
Anything that is not necessary to the painting damages it.

I am unable to make any distinction between the feeling I get from life and the way I translate that feeling into painting.

Claude Monet
Color is my daylong obsession, joy, and torment.

I must have flowers, always, and always.

Everyone discusses my art and pretends to understand, as if it were necessary to understand, when it is simply necessary to love.

Every day I discover more and more beautiful things. It’s enough to drive one mad. I have such a desire to do everything, my head is bursting with it.

My garden is my most beautiful masterpiece

The more I live, the more I regret how little I know

It's on the strength of observation and reflection that one finds a way. So we must dig and delve unceasingly.

I would like to paint the way a bird sings.

The richness I achieve comes from nature, the source of my inspiration. 

I'm not performing miracles, I'm using up and wasting a lot of paint...

If the world really looks like that I will paint no more!

I perhaps owe having become a painter to flowers.

I can only draw what I see.

I get madder and madder on giving back what I feel.


Georgia O'Keeffe


Nobody sees a flower - really - it is so small it takes time - we haven't time - and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time.

Where I was born and where and how I have lived is unimportant. It is what I have done with where I have been that should be of interest.

I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way... things I had no words for.

I have things in my head that are not like what anyone taught me — shapes and ideas so near to me,so natural to my way of being and thinking.

I can't live where I want to, I can't go where I want to go, I can't do what I want to, I can't even say what I want to. I decided I was a very stupid fool not to at least paint as I wanted to.

One day a hummingbird flew in--It fluttered against the window till I got it down where I could reach it with an open umbrella----When I had it in my hand it was so small I couldn't believe I had it--but I could feel the intense life--so intense and so tiny--...You were like the humming bird to me...And I am rather inclined to feel that you and I know the best part of one another without spending much time together----It is not that I fear the knowing--

It is that I am at this moment willing to let you be what you are to me--it is beautiful and pure and very intensely alive.

To create one's own world takes courage.

You are one of my nicest thoughts.

I'm frightened all the time. But I never let it stop me. Never!

I wish people were all trees and I think I could enjoy them then.

I said to myself, I have things in my head that are not like what anyone has taught me - shapes and ideas so near to me - so natural to my way of being and thinking that it hasn't occurred to me to put them down. I decided to start anew, to strip away what I had been taught. 

Nothing is less real than realism. Details are confusing. It is only by selection, by elimination, by emphasis, that we get at the real meaning of things.

One cannot be an American by going about saying that one is an American. It is necessary to feel America, like America, love America and then work.

I often painted fragments of things because it seemed to make my statement as well as or better than the whole could.

When you take a flower in your hand and really look at it, it's your world for the moment. I hate flowers.

I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.

I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way- things I had no words for.

I decided I was a very stupid fool not to at least paint as I wanted to ... I found that I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way-- things I had no words for.

I said to myself 'I have things in my head that are not like what anyone has taught me--shapes and idea so near to my-- so natural to my way of being and thinking that it hasn't occurred to me to put them down.' I decided to start anew to strip away what I had been taught...

I got half-a-dozen paintings from that shattered plate.

The unexplainable thing in nature that makes me feel the world is big fat beyond my understanding – to understand maybe by trying to put it into form. To find the feeling of infinity on the horizon line or just over the next hill.

When you take a flower in your hand and really look at it, it's your world for the moment. I want to give that world to someone else.

I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for.

Pablo Picasso

Everything you can imagine is real.

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain a n artist once he grows up.

Art is the lie that enables us to realize the truth.

Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.

Others have seen what is and asked why. I have seen what could be and asked why not. 

Ah, good taste! What a dreadful thing! Taste is the enemy of creativeness.

Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone

There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into sun

When I was a child my mother said to me, 'If you become a soldier, you'll be a general. If you become a monk, you'll be the pope.' Instead I became a painter and wound up as Picasso.

The chief enemy of creativity is good sense.

I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.

What do you think an artist is? ...he is a political being, constantly aware of the heart breaking, passionate, or delightful things that happen in the world, shaping himself completely in their image. Painting is not done to decorate apartments. It is an instrument of war.

It takes a very long time to become young.

The urge to destroy is also a creative urge.

Bad artists copy. Good artists steal.

Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.

If I paint a wild horse, you might not see the horse... but surely you will see the wildness!

There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.

There is no abstract art. You must always start with something. Afterward you can remove all traces of reality.

Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

I do not seek. I find.

God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things.

Painting is just another way of keeping a diary.

I'd like to live as a poor man with lots of money.

To draw, you must close your eyes and sing

The world doesn't make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do?

If only we could pull out our brain and use only our eyes.

We all know that Art is not truth. Art is a lie that makes us realize truth at least the truth that is given us to understand. The artist must know the manner whereby to convince others of the truthfulness of his lies.

It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child.

Youth has no age. 

People want to find a meaning in everything and everyone. That's the disease of our age...

If I don't have red, I use blue.

We artists are indestructible; even in a prison, or in a concentration camp, I would be almighty in my own world of art, even if I had to paint my pictures with my wet tongue on the dusty floor of my cell.

I paint objects as I think them, not as I see them.

Give me a museum and I'll fill it.

Good Artists Copy, Great Artists Steal

I begin with an idea and then it becomes something else. 

He can who thinks he can, and he can't who thinks he can't. This is an inexorable, indisputable law.

Action is the foundational key to all success. 

Every positive value has its price in negative terms... the genius of Einstein leads to Hiroshima.

The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.

Love is the greatest refreshment in life

We don't grow older we grow riper.

When art critics get together they talk about Form and Structure and Meaning. When artists get together they talk about where you can buy cheap turpentine.

Colors, like features, follow the changes of the emotions. 

Everything is a miracle. It is a miracle that one does not melt in one's bath.
Go and do the things you can't. That is how you get to do them.
The artist is a receptacle for emotions that come from all over the place: from the sky, from the earth, from a scrap of paper, from a passing shape, from a spider's web. 
Every now and then one paints a picture that seems to have opened a door and serves as a stepping stone to other things.

Art is the elimination of the unnecessary.

Art is never chaste. It ought to be forbidden to ignorant innocents, never allowed into contact with those not sufficiently prepared. Yes, art is dangerous. Where it is chaste, it is not art.

Anything new, anything worth doing, can't be recognized.

Why do two colors, put one next to the other, sing? Can one really explain this? No. Just as one can never learn how to paint.

What one does is what counts. Not what one had the intention of doing.

What do you think an artist is? An imbecile who only has eyes, if he is a painter, or ears if he is a musician, or a lyre in every chamber of his heart if he is a poet, or even, if he is a boxer, just his muscles? Far from it: at the same time he is also a political being, constantly aware of the heartbreaking, passionate, or delightful things that happen in the world, shaping himself completely in their image. How could it be possible to feel no interest in other people, and with a cool indifference to detach yourself from the very life which they bring to you so abundantly? No, painting is not done to decorate apartments. It is an instrument of war.

Painting is not made to decorate apartments. It's an offensive and defensive weapon against the enemy.

Painting is stronger than me, it makes me do it's bidding.

There is only one way to see things, until someone shows us how to look at them with different eyes.

Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot, others transform a yellow spot into the sun. 

You have to have an idea of what you are going to do, but it should be a vague idea.

Whatever the source of emotion that drives me to create, I want to give it a form which has some connection with the visible world, even if it is only to wage war on that world....I want my paintings to be able to defend themselves to resist the invader, just as though there were razor blades on all surfaces so no one could touch them without cutting his hands.

The more technique you have the less you have to worry about it. The more technique there is the less there is. 

It took me a lifetime.

The people who make art their business are mostly imposters.

Matisse makes a drawing, then he makes a copy of it. He copies it five times, ten times, always clarifying the line. He’s convinced that the last, the most stripped down, is the best, the purest, the definitive one; and in fact, most of the time, it was the first. In drawing, nothing is better than the first attempt.

Everyone wants to understand art. Why not try to understand the song of a bird? Why does one love the night, flowers, everything around one, without trying to understand them? But in the case of a painting people have to understand. If only they would realize above all that an artist works of necessity, that he himself is only a trifling bit of the world, and that no more importance should be attached to him than to plenty of other things which please us in the world, though we can't explain them. People who try to explain pictures are usually barking up the wrong tree.

Good artists copy; great artists steal.

Painting it's a blind man profession. Painter is painting not what he sees but what he feels.

I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.

It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction.

I'm not a developer; I am.

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.

We have a definite but unknown quantity of experience at our disposal. As soon as the hourglass is turned, the sand will begin to run out and once it starts, it cannot stop until it's all gone.

When I was a kid I drew like Michelangelo. It took me years to learn to draw like a kid.

The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls.

To find is the thing.
Art is not chaste. Those ill prepared should be allowed no contact with art. Art is dangerous. 

If it is chaste, it is not art.

In art intentions are not sufficient and, as we say in Spanish, love must be proved by deeds and not by reasons. What one does is what counts and not what one had the intention of doing.

The fact that for a long time Cubism has not been understood and that even today there are people who cannot see anything in it means nothing. I do not read English, an English book is a blank book to me. This does not mean that the English language does not exist. Why should I blame anyone but myself if I cannot understand what I know nothing about?

Who sees the human face correctly: the photographer, the mirror, or the painter?

An idea is a point of departure and no more. As soon as you elaborate it, it becomes transformed by thought

The older you get, the stronger the wind gets — and it's always in your face.

I am always doing things I can't do, that's how I get to do them.

When children paint, they express their ideas rather than their perception, and when Picasso had recourse to such a technique, then that was his personal response to his approaching death.

My mother said to me, if you are a soldier, you will become a general. If you are a monk, you will become the Pope. Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

I am always doing things I can’t do. That is how I get to do them.

It takes a long time to grow young.

It would be very interesting to preserve photographically not the stages, but the metamorphoses of a picture. Possibly one might then discover the path followed by the brain in materializing a dream.

All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.

When you come right down to it all you have is yourself. The sun is a thousand rays in your belly. All the rest is nothing.

When I was as old as these children, I could draw like Raphael, but it took me a lifetime to learn to draw like them.

In the South of Spain, one could look to vice as quickly as to virtue for a sense of tradition. — Norman Mailer Portrait of Picasso as a Young Man

Others have seen what is and asked why. I have seen what could be and asked why not

Sex and art are the same thing.

Every act of creation is first of all an act of destruction.

Pablo's many stories and reminiscences about Olga and Marie-Thérese and Dora Maar, as well as their continuing presence just offstage in our own life together, gradually made me realize that he had a kind of Bluebeard complex that made him want to cut off the heads of all women he had collected in his private museum. But he didn't cut the heads entirely off. He preferred to have life go on and to have all those women who had shared his life at one moment or another still letting out little peeps and cries of joy or pain and making a few gestures like disjointed dolls, just to prove there was some life left in them, that it hung by a thread, and that he held the other end of the thread. From time to time they would provide a humorous or dramatic or sometimes tragic side to things, and that was all grist to his mill. — Françoise Gilot Life with Picasso

Jackson Pollock

Love is friendship set to music.

Every good artist paints what he is

The modern artist is working with space and time and expressing his feelings rather than illustrating.

The painting has a life of its own

Every good painter paints what he is.

Painting is self-discovery. Every good artist paints what he is.

Technique is just a means of arriving at a statement.

Energy and motion made visible – memories arrested in space

It doesn't matter how the paint is put on, as long as something is said.


Pierre-Auguste Renoir
 


Why shouldn’t art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world.

The pain passes, but the beauty remains.

To my mind, a picture should be something pleasant, cheerful, and pretty, yes pretty! There are too many unpleasant things in life as it is without creating still more of them.

There are quite enough unpleasant things in life without the need to manufacture more.

I've been 40 years discovering that the queen of all colors was black.

The work of art must seize upon you, wrap you up in itself, carry you away. It is the means by which the artist conveys his passion; it is the current which he puts forth which sweeps you along in his passion.

His last words about painting, age 78...”I think I'm beginning to learn something about it. “

We are in a period of searchers rather than of creators.

Only the painter who knows his business can create the impression that a picture was done in one stroke.

When I've painted a woman's bottom so that I want to touch it, then [the painting] is finished.

The pain passes, but the beauty remains.
The more they measure, the more they realize how much the Greeks departed from regular and banal lines in order to produce their effect.

Diego Rivera

I am an atheist and I consider religions to be a form of collective neurosis. I am not an enemy of the Catholics, as I am not an enemy of the tuberculars, the myopic or the paralytics; you cannot be an enemy of the sick, only their good friend in order to help them cure themselves.
You have to trust a TRUE compliment as much as a critique.


Andy Warhol

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.

Don't pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches.

People should fall in love with their eyes closed.

When people are ready to, they change. They never do it before then, and sometimes they die before they get around to it. You can't make them change if they don't want to, just like when they do want to, you can't stop them.

Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, so what. That's one of my favorite things to say. So what.

Art is what you can get away with.

The idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting

I never fall apart, because I never fall together.

As soon as you stop wanting something, you get it.

I'm afraid that if you look at a thing long enough, it loses all of its meaning.

I wonder if it's possible to have a love affair that lasts forever.

I think having land and not ruining it is the most beautiful art that anybody could ever want.

It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.

I think everybody should be nice to everybody.

An artist is somebody who produces things that people don't need to have.

Beauty is a sign of intelligence.

Sometimes the little times you don't think are anything while they're happening turn out to be what marks a whole period of your life.

Everybody must have a fantasy.

It’s not what you are that counts, it’s what they think you are.

Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery.

Every song has a memory; every song has the ability to make or break your heart, shut down the heart, and open the eyes. But I’m afraid if you look at a thing long enough; it loses all of its meaning

I like to be the right thing in the wrong place and the wrong thing in the right place. Being the right thing in the wrong place and the wrong thing in the right place is worth it because something interesting always happens.

People sometimes say that the way things happen in the movies is unreal, but actually, it's the way things happen to you in life that's unreal. The movies make emotions look strong and real, whereas when things really do happen to you, it's like you're watching television -- you don't feel anything.

I like boring things.

A picture means I know where I was every minute. That's why I take pictures. It's a visual diary.

You have to do stuff that average people don't understand because those are the only good things.

I'm not afraid to die; I just don't want to be there when it happens

In the future, everybody will be world famous for fifteen minutes.

And your own life while it's happening to you never has any atmosphere until it's a memory.

I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs.

I am a deeply superficial person.

Everyone winds up kissing the wrong person goodnight.

The mystery was gone but the amazement was just starting.

But I always say, one's company, two's a crowd, and three's a party

The best thing about a picture is that it never changes, even when the people in it do.

What's great about this country is America started the tradition where the richest consumers buy essentially the same things as the poorest. You can be watching TV and see Coca-Cola, and you can know that the President drinks Coke, Liz Taylor drinks Coke, and just think, you can drink Coke, too. A Coke is a Coke and no amount of money can get you a better Coke than the one the bum on the corner is drinking. All the Cokes are the same and all the Cokes are good.

Fantasy love is much better than Reality Love.

I always think about what it means to wear eyeglasses. When you get used to glasses you don't know how far you could really see. I think about all the people before eyeglasses were invented. It must have been weird because everyone was seeing in different ways according to how bad their eyes were. Now, eyeglasses standardize everyone's vision to 20-20. That's an example of everyone becoming more alike. Everyone could be seeing at different levels if it weren't for glasses.

People should fall in love with their eyes closed. Just close your eyes. Don’t look and it’s magic

I'm the type who'd be happy not going anywhere as long as I was sure I knew exactly what was happening at the places I wasn't going to. I'm the type who'd like to sit home and watch every party that I'm invited to on a monitor in my bedroom.

If everyone isn't beautiful, then no one is.

I just do art because I’m ugly and there’s nothing else for me to do.

Isn't life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves?

I believe in low lights and trick mirrors.

I don't know where the artificial stops and the real starts.

Don't think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it's good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art.

People need to be made more aware of the need to work at learning how to live because life is so quick and sometimes it goes away too quickly.

Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.

During the 1960s, I think, people forgot what emotions were supposed to be. And I don't think they've ever remembered.

I had a lot of dates, but I decided to stay home and dye my eyebrows.

An artist is someone who produces things that people don't need to have but that he - for some reason - thinks it would be a good idea to give them.

There are beautiful sounds in rock. Very lazy, dreamlike noises. You can forget about the lyrics in most songs. Just dig the noise, and you've got your sound...We're musical primitives.

I can never get over when you're on the beach how beautiful the sand looks and the water washes it away and straightens it up and the trees and the grass all look great. I think having land and not ruining it is the most beautiful art that anybody could ever want to own.

People's fantasies are what give them problems. If you didn't have fantasies you wouldn't have problems because you'd just take whatever was there.

Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, So what.

My mother didn't love me. So what.My husband won't ball me. So what. I'm a success but I'm still alone. So what.

I don't know how I made it through all the years before I learned how to do that trick. It took a long time for me to learn it, but once you do, you never forget.

I think it would be very glamorous to be reincarnated as a great big ring on Liz Taylor's finger.

You need to let the little things that would ordinarily bore you suddenly thrill you.

Everybody has a different idea of love. One girl I know said, I knew he loved me when de didn't come in my mouth. 

Actually, I jade very quickly. Once is usually enough. Either once only, or every day. If you do something once it’s exciting, and if you do it every day it’s exciting. But if you do it, say, twice or just almost every day, it’s not good any more.

Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone’s got to take care of all your details.

Most people in America think Art is a man's name.

Why do people spend their time being sad when they could be happy?

At the times in my life when I was feeling the most gregarious and looking for bosom friendships, I couldn't find any takers, so that exactly when I was alone was when I felt the most like not being alone... I became a loner in my own mind... I decided I'd rather be alone.

I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic.

Remember, they've never seen you before in their life.

The girls in California were probably prettier in a standard sense than the New York girls--blonder and in better health, I guess; but I still preferred the way the girls in New York looked--stranger and more neurotic a girl always looked more beautiful and fragile when she was about to have a nervous breakdown.

Everything has it's beauty but not everyone sees it

Those who talk about individuality the most are the ones who most object to deviation, and in a few years it may be the other way around. Some day everybody will just think what they want to think, and then everybody will probably be thinking alike; that seems to be what is happening.

Sex is the biggest nothing of all time.

You have to be willing to get happy about nothing.

I never understood why when you died, you didn't just vanish, everything should just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn't be there. I always thought I'd like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I'd like it to say 'figment'.

The nicer I am, the more people think I'm lying.

It's the movies that have been running things in America ever since they were invented. 

They show you what to do, how to do it, when to do it, how to feel about it, and how to look how you feel about it.

I never wanted to be a painter; I wanted to be a tap dancer.

Everybody has their own America, and then they have pieces of a fantasy America that they think is out there but they can’t see…So the fantasy corners of America…you’ve pieced them together from scenes in movies and music and lines from books. And you live in your dream America that you’ve custom-made from art and schmaltz and emotions just as much as you live in your real one.

When I look around today, the biggest anachronism I see is pregnancy. I just can't believe that people are still pregnant.

The idea is not to live forever, it is to create something that will.

Some people spend their entire lives thinking about one particular famous person. They pick one person who's famous, and they dwell on him or her. They devote almost their entire consciousness to thinking about this person they've never even met, or maybe met once. If you ask any famous person about the kind of mail they get, you'll find that almost every one of them has at least one person who's obsessed with them and writes constantly. It feels so strange to think that someone is spending their whole time thinking about you.

I never think that people die. They just go to department stores.

The world fascinates me.

I suppose I have a really loose interpretation of work, because i think that just being alive is so much work at something you don't always want to do. The machinery is always going even when you sleep

Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they'll just have to learn how to be babies longer.

So today if you see a person who looks like your teenage fantasy walking down the street, it's probably not your fantasy, but someone who had the same fantasy as you and decided instead of getting it or being it, to look like it, and so he went to the store and bought the look that you both like.

So forget it. Just think about all the James Deans and what it means.

Making money is art. And working is art. And good business is the best art.

People sometimes say that the way things happen in the movies is unreal, but actually its the way things happen to you in real life that’s unreal. The movies make emotions look so strong and real, whereas when things really do happen to you, its like watching television. You don't feel anything.

Everybody winds up kissing the wrong person goodnight.

I suppose I have a really lose interpretation of 'work,' because I think that just being alive is so much work at something you don't always want to do.

I think pot should be legal. I don’t smoke it, but I like the smell of it.

Before I was shot, I always thought that I was more half-there than all-there – I always suspected that I was watching TV instead of living life. People sometimes say that the way things happen in movies is unreal, but actually it's the way things happen in life that's unreal. The movies make emotions look so strong and real, whereas when things really do happen to you, it's like watching television – you don't feel anything. Right when I was being shot and ever since, I knew that I was watching television. The channels switch, but it's all television.

When I got my first television set, I stopped caring so much about having close relationships.

I'm bored with that line. I never use it anymore. My new line is In 15 minutes everybody will be famous.

I’m really afraid to feel happy because it never lasts

It's the movies that have really been running things in America ever since they were invented. They show you what to do, how to do it, when to do it, how to feel about it, and how to look how you feel about it.

Space is all one space and thought is all one thought, but my mind divides its spaces into spaces into spaces and thoughts into thoughts into thoughts. Like a large condominium. 

Occasionally I think about the one Space and the one Thought, but usually I don't. Usually I think about my condominium.

Everything is more glamorous when you do it in bed anyway. 

I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They’re beautiful. Everybody’s plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic.

Kiss me with your eyes.

Whenever I’m interested in something, I know the timing’s off, because I’m always interested in the right thing at the wrong time. I should just be getting interested after I’m not interested any more.

You know it's ART, when the check clears.

If something's going to happen for you, it will, you can't make it happen. And it never does happen until you're past the point where you care whether it happens or not.

I guess it's for your own good that it always happens that way, because after you stop wanting things is where having them won't make you go crazy.

I don't want to be smart, because being smart makes you depressed.

When people are ready to, they change. They never do it before then, and sometimes they die before they get around to it. You can’t make them change if they don’t want to, just like when they do want to, you can’t stop them.

Just because people throw it out and don't have any use for it, doesn't mean it's garbage.

The biggest price you pay for love is that you have to have somebody around, you can't be on your own, which is always so much better.

In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes. Andy Warhol 1968
He revised it in 1979: In 15 minutes, everybody will be famous.

Security breeds stagnation.

You can never predict what little things in the way somebody looks or talks or acts will set off peculiar emotional reactions in other people.

I always notice flowers.

I always run into strong women who are looking for weak men to dominate them.

The symptom of love is when some of the chemicals inside you go bad. So there must be something in love because your chemicals do tell you something.

I believe in low light and trick mirrors.

I believe in plastic surgery.

If something's going to happen for you, it will, you can't make it happen. And it never does happen until you're past the point where you care whether it happens or not.

If I ever have to cast an acting role, I want the wrong person for the part. I can never visualize the right person in a part. The right person for the right part would be too much. Besides, no person is every completely right for any part, because part in a role is never real, so if you can't get someone who's perfectly right, it's more satisfying to get someone who's perfectly wrong. Then you know you've really got something.

The only time I ever want to be something is outside a party so I can get in.

I’m afraid that if you look at a thing long enough, it loses all of its meaning.

Business art is the step that comes after art. I started as a commercial artist, and I want to finish as a business artist. Being good in business is the most fascinating kind of art. During the hippie era people put down the idea of business. They’d say money is bad and working is bad. But making money is art, and working is art - and good business is the best art.

When I did my self-portrait, I left all the pimples out because you always should. Pimples are a temporary condition and they don't have anything to do with what you really look like. 

Always omit the blemishes—they're not part of the good picture you want.

The child-like, gum-chewing naïveté , the glamour rooted in despair, the self- admiring carelessness, the perfected otherness, the wispiness, the shadowy, voyeuristic, vaguely sinister aura, the pale, soft-spoken magical presence, the skin and bones…