Welcome

Welcome
John William Tuohy lives in Washington DC

The LLR: Great writing

The LLR: Great writing: The first time my husband hit me i was nineteen years old. One sentence and I'm lost. One sentence and i can hear his voice in my h...

The LLR: A Step Away From Them by Frank O’Hara

The LLR: A Step Away From Them by Frank O’Hara: It's my lunch hour, so I go for a walk among the hum-colored cabs. First, down the sidewalk where laborers feed their dir...

The LLR: Worried about bad reviews? Here’s what the critics...

The LLR: Worried about bad reviews? Here’s what the critics...: Huckleberry Finn -- "If Mr. Clemens cannot think of something better to tell our pure-minded lads and lasses, he had best stop w...

The LLR: badd spilling

The LLR: badd spilling

Because


Fishbowling




Fishbowling
Or
 The Last Words of William S. Burroughs
On
The Last Words of Dutch Schultz

A one act play in thirty-three scenes







CHARACTERS

Burroughs, the playwright writing about Dutch Schultz
William Burroughs, age 83

Burroughs, the returning GI,  drug addict in New York 1950s
William Burroughs, age 28 through 39
Billy Burroughs, William Burroughs son
Ages 9 through 39
Joan Vollmer, Burroughs wife and Billy Burroughs mother. 
Ages 28-35
Dutch Schultz, a New York gangster 
Ages 18 and 35
Francis Schultz, Dutch’s wife
Age 19 –She was considerably younger than Schultz
Dutch Schultz’s mother, a German immigrant
Age 60
Dutch Schultz killers

Two men, any age
Various policemen

Any age
Stenographer
Any sex, any age
Nurse
Any age
Medical Corpsmen
Two men, age twenties
Military Policeman
Age twenties
William Burroughs parents 
Age 40
Schultz Thug
Male any age
Schultz victims
Males, any age


SETTINGS

Scene
Dutch Schultz in a bar room bathroom/ A Mexican bar
Scene
Dutch Schultz’s hospital room
Scene
William Burroughs writing room
Scene
The playwrights office/writing room
Scene
William Burroughs childhood home
Scene
William Burroughs New York Apartment/which is also used as Dutch Schultz’s childhood home
Scene
A jail cell used to hold Billy and William Burroughs






ACT ONE

Scene 1
A playwright sits at his desk, stage left. A wall calendar reads, August 2, 2008. The playwright will always be in the year 2008, in the same setting. Only the time will change. A clock reads 5:50. The playwright begins to type. Lights fade on the playwright.

Scene 2
  The lights rise over William Burroughs who takes a seat at his desk, center stage left, just in front of the writer. A wall calendar reads, August 2, 1997. A clock reads 5:51. The playwright begins to type.  Burroughs is in his writing room. A very large flag bearing the symbol of the Illuminates of Thanateros covers a wall. A flag of the chaos star drapes another wall. South American and Mexican artifacts are scattered about the room.
     In a bookshelf are copies of Junkie Queer, The Yage Letters, The Naked Lunch, The World Hoard, The Soft Machine, Nova Express, The Ticket That Exploded, The Nova Trilogy, The Wild Boys, Cities of the Red Night, The Place of Dead Roads and The Western Lands.  A copy of Dead City Radio album and Smack my Crack, on the floor is propped up by an ancient record player.
    Diplomas from The John Burroughs School in Saint Louis and Harvard hang on the wall next to framed photos of family members including General Robert E. Lee and the Rockefellers.  There is also an acceptance letter from the American Academy and Institute of Arts and Letters. A diploma from the Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poets and a teacher’s certificate in creative writing from the City College of New York.   Rifles, pistols and boxes of bullets litter the floor. He looks around the room as though seeing it for the first time.    

Burroughs
I know what I am doing here with my collection of papers, for crying out loud. My gilt-edge stuff.

Burroughs rolls up his sleeve, wraps a plastic tube around his arm, takes a needle, spoon and a package of heroin out of the desk draw. He lifts a pile a stock certificates from the Burroughs Corporation, takes one, lights it, cooks the dope, and shoots himself up.

Burroughs (Singing happily as he shoots up)
Look out, for Jimmie Valentine, for he is an old pal of mine. Come on, Jim, come on Jimmie
Oh, thanks.

He puts away the fix and rocks back and fourth

Burroughs
I want harmony. Please give me my shot.

The dope sets in. He leans back in the chair and lets his head fall back wards

Burroughs
Fuck.

 He leans forward. He is very high 

Burroughs (He giggles and sings the words)
Sam, you are a boiled man

He pours a very large drink of whisky and takes a sip. He looks around the room

Burroughs
Oh, kayiyi, kayiyi! (Okay! Okay!)

He walks over to a canvas set on a still, turned away from the auidence. Burroughs places several paint cans in front of it. He steps back, lifts a rifle, aims and fires several shots. The cans fall. He places the rifle down, lifts the canvass so it faces the audience and admires his artwork with great pride.  He sits back at his desk and begins to type.


Scene 3
In 1997, Burroughs writes.
Dutch Schultz, in October of 1935, appears on stage right. The time is 6: 16. He is sitting at a table inside the Palace Chop House Restaurant. Above him, a calendar reads October 1935. Schultz walks into a men’s room. He turns his back to the auidence and begins to urinate. Two men, gangsters, walk in behind him. They take out pistols and shoot Schultz who falls to the ground. The killers exit. Two policemen arrive. The same two men who were the medical escorts.

Schultz (He has not been shot up with morphine at this point)
I don't know sir; honestly, I don't. I don't even know who was with me; honestly.
I went to the toilet; I was in the toilet and when I reached the.....the boy came at me.. Oh...and then he clips me; come on,

Policeman #1
Are you sure?

Schultz
Sure? Who cares?

 A nurse shoots the gangster up with morphine. She looks at the detectives and shakes her head “No” as in, “He won’t make it”. Schultz sees her, looks at the cops and winks “Yes”. The morphine takes effect.



Schultz
All right, I am sore and I am going up and I am going to give you honey if I can. (He tries to rise out of bed the cops push him back down)  That is what caused the trouble. If you do this you can go on and jump right here in the lake! (To the nurse, referring to the cops)  I know who they are! They are French people!...A work relief....(Calling out) police!

A stenographer enters and sits and begins to take notes

Schultz
(Suspiciously) Who gets it? I don't know and I don't want to know, but...(He screams out) Look out! (And hides under the covers. Seeing that all is safe, he relaxes) That is the one that done it, but who had that one? (Seeing an imaginary danger, he screams again)  Please, look out! Please! (He holds the sides of the bed)  I am wobbly. Then pull me out. Open this up, break it so I can touch you. I am going to turn it over to.....


Scene 4

The light falls on the playwright. He begins to write
Burroughs childhood home.  A wall calendar reads August 2, 1942. A desk clock reads 5:03 A knock on a door. A butler answers.  Two medical attendants in white coats and an MP, hold Burroughs by the arms. He is dressed in a US Army uniform and wearing eyeliner. He is a PFC. Burroughs parents are dressed in expensive, conservative clothes. They have drinks in their hands.  They reek of old Yankee money. They return Burroughs to his parents.

Burroughs (Holding out his chest proudly)
I am half-crazy.

Medical Corpsman
Please, keep him in control

The medical corpsmen and the MP turn and leave. Burroughs takes a joint out of his uniform pocket, lights it and happily waves the off as he takes off the uniform and tosses it about the room.
 
Burroughs (Shaking his fist in the air)
Please crack down on the Chinaman's friends and Hitler's commander.

Burroughs stands at attention and salutes

Burroughs (Imitating a WW 2 propaganda film, ala Micky Rooney)
There are only ten of us and there are ten million fighting somewhere in front of you, so get your onions up and

He lowers his voice

Burroughs (Saluting)
We will throw up the truce flag...

He pours himself a drink and gulps it.

Burroughs (As though leading a cheer at a football game)
.....seven days a week... fight!

He stands on toes in a distinctly feminine way and blows them a kiss and then shuts the door.

Lights fade.

Scene 5

The playwright writes.
Burroughs, in the year 1997 in his study, begins to write. The lights fade on him.
Schultz in bed in the hospital. October 1935. The time is 5:04

Schultz
(Pointing his fingers like a pistol) Everything you got, the whole bill! (He relaxes and becomes very kindly) And did you come for your rest in the doctor's office, sir? My friends (He waves an arm majestically over his imaginary friends) think I do a better job (Long beat). Oh, please be instrumental in letting us know!
That wouldn't be here; they are Englishmen and they are a “type” (He drops his wrist in a limp fashion)  I don't know who is best, they or us.  Oh, sir, and get the doll a roofing. (He sits up in a dignified fashion) I may take all events into consideration.  no, no. And it is no; it is confused and it says no Now leave it or take it. No, I might be in the playing for I know. Oh, Duckie, see we skipped again. No, no, you have got to do it as I see it. express office was closed. I don't know; none. How many? we need it; come on, please get it; I can't tell you to. Oh, yes I have. Yes, I will lie quiet. I do it because you ask me to. I would hear it. Oh, please reply. N.R.A.

 His mother enters the room. Schultz recognizes her and drifts into a peaceful sleep


Scene 6

The playwright, in 2008, is writing. The time is 5:05
1949, Burroughs is sitting in an apartment, shooting up junk. There is a banging on the door

Offstage voice
Police!

Scene 7


Schultz, fully dressed, climbs out of his deathbed and steps around the two detectives. He walks up to Joe, a thug who works for Schultz has beaten a man to the ground

Man (Begging)
Please....

Joe (To Schultz, he hands Schultz a bag)
I showed him, boss.

Schultz nods at the man and Joe beats him some more

Man
Please, Joe. Please! I never forget and if I do, I will be very careful.

Schultz (looking inside the bag)
It isn't worth a nickel to two guys like you or me, but to a collector it is worth a fortune; it is priceless.

He pays Joe and takes the bag

Schultz
That settles it.

Joe (To Schultz)
and he owes me money; he owes everyone money.

Man
O.K., I won't be such a creep.

Joe (Kicking the man in the ribs)
What happened to the 16?


Scene 8

The playwright begins to write. The lights fade on him. The time is 5:06

1953. Burroughs is in prison clothes, sitting in a cell,  typing furiously. He suddenly stops and very proudly holds up a copy of his book Junkie

Burroughs
Oh, mamma!

Scene 9

Burroughs, in 1997, writes a scene. The light fades on Burroughs and shines on Schultz and his mother. A wall calendar reads August, 1918. A desk clock reads 5:07. Schultz and his mother are in an apartment in a slum in New York. A table is set for Shabbat. There is a large piece of bread and a small piece of fish on the table. Schultz’s mother butters the bread, puts salt and pepper on the fish and gives almost all of it to her son. She takes what is left, which is almost nothing.

Schultz (Singing as he eats without a thought to his mother)
Oh, Oh; dog biscuit, and when he is happy he doesn't get snappy....(Beat) No; Hoboe and Poboe I think mean the same thing.

Banging on the door.

Offstage voice
Police!

Schultz grabs the last of his food, shoves it in his mouth, kisses his mother on the head and climbs out a window.

 Scene 10
The playwright writes a new scene. New York City.  August 2, 1950. A desk clock reads 5:08 p.m. Burroughs and a pregnant Joan Vollmer sit in a ramshackle mess. Everything in the apartment is broken and old. Burroughs is shooting herion in to Vollmer. He has his own arm tied and is ready to shoot himself up as well. He lifts the needle and holds it her lips.

Burroughs
Talk to the Sword.

Vollmer
Oh, yeh!

She kisses the needle.

Vollmer
The boss himself.

Burroughs (He shoots her up)
Well then...

He hands her the needle

Vollmer (Shaking her head in happiness and pointing to the needle)
You can't beat him.

Burroughs (Putting his track-marked arm out to her)
Will you get me up? Please make it quick

She shoots him up, he leans back

Burroughs (Closing his eyes as he wanders off)
fast and furious; please....fast and furious.


Scene 11

Burroughs, in 1997, sits at his desk and writes. The time is 6:00
A light on Schultz as Schultz, in the year 1930, stands with a club in one hand and a pistol in another. He is speaking to a non-present man, a loan shark victim

Schultz
You are telling the truth, aren't you, Mr. Harris?

Mr. Harris
I want to pay, let them leave me alone....

He beats the man into submission. Schultz was known for his lunatic tantrums. The beating is fierce


Scene 12

The playwright writes. The lights fade on him. The time is 6:04
Burroughs and his son Billy are playing catch, the year is 1959. Vollmer is sitting on a blanket next to a wicker picnic basket. It is an idyllic scene.
 
Vollmer (Smiling and waving the men over to the blanket)
Come on

Burroughs (Smiling and waving back to Vollmer)
All right mother.

Billy Burroughs (Running over to Vollmer)
Mamma, mamma!

Vollmer hands the boys a thermos

Vollmer (Lovingly)
French Canadian bean soup

Billy
French Canadian bean soup!

Burroughs (With awe)
French Canadian bean soup

Vollmer reaches in the basket and takes out her fix and shoots up Burroughs who falls back on the blanket and then she shoots herself up as well. She falls back. Billy is left standing, sipping his soup.  



Scene 13

Burroughs, in 1997, at his desk, writing.
A light falls opens on Schultz, pistol in hand. The year is 1932. The time is 6:08. Schultz stands before a non-present man named Nick. He beats Nick to the ground with his pistol and kicks him

Schultz (In an eerily calm voice)
Please, Nick, stop chiseling.


Scene 14
The playwright, in 2008, writes a new scene.
New York City.  Same Burroughs apartment. A wall calendar reads August 2, 1962. A desk clock reads 6:12 p.m.  Billy Burroughs, a child of 10, sits on the floor watching television. He is high and drunk. A bottle of whisky sits on a table in front of him. He is making a Herion fix.  
Burroughs
My fortunes have changed and shit come back and went back since that.

Loud knocking on a door

Billy Burroughs
Police, Mamma!

Police (Off stage voice)
Police, Police!

Joan Vollmer looks out a window

Burroughs
Who was it?

Joan Vollmer (Hushed tones as she downs some speed and hides the rest)
Police are here, police are looking for you all over

Burroughs begins to round up assorted narcotics around the house and flushes them down a toilet, he puts a pistol in his waistband, puts on his coat, throws another coat to Joan Vollmer and grabs Billy up off of the floor and places a coat and hat on him. They escape out the back doorThe police enter

Policeman #1
We broke that up.

Scene 15

The playwright types. Light fades on him. A sign reads Bounty Bar, Mexico City. A wall calendar on the bar room wall reads June 1962. A clock reads  6:20 Joan Vollmer and Burroughs are arm in arm. They are drunk and smoking a joint. Billy Burroughs sits in a chair, bored.  Burroughs passes the joint to his son

Burroughs (slurred)
These native children make this and sell you the joint.

Burroughs grabs the pistol and happily pushes Vollmer against the wall.

Burroughs (With a deep bow)
Meet my lady, Mrs. Pickford

Smiling, she places a drink on her head.

Billy Burroughs
Look out. Look out for her. Look out.

Vollmer (Laughing)
Look out!

Burroughs (Sarcastically)
Look out? Look out for my cock! Whose number is that in your pocketbook, Phil? 13780.

Billy Burroughs
Please! Papa!

Burroughs (slurred)
Shut up, you got a big mouth!

He aims the pistol. The bartender tries to stop him but he pushes him away and turn the
Pistol on him

Burroughs (slurred)
Now listen, Phil, fun is fun. Please, look out, the shooting is a bit wild, and that kind of shooting.

Burroughs and Vollmer are laughing and smiling. Burroughs fires the pistol and shoots Vollmer in the head, killing her.

Billy Burroughs
Mamma, mamma....

Burroughs (Pointing to Vollmer’s dead body)
No knock to her, she didn't know.

Billy Burroughs
Oh, Oh...

Scene 16

Burroughs, in 1997 writes. The time is 6:24
Lights fade to black and open again inside a hospital room in 1935. The police are questioning Schultz who is in bed.    

Dutch Schultz
I don't know who shot me, honest to God! Who shot me? No one. (Pulls the cops closer and says wisely) In the olden days, they waited and they waited. (Pulls the cops very close and whispers in confidence while pointing to the other cop) Yes, he might have shot me. (Gives the cops a wink and holds his finger to his lips)



Scene 17
The playwright writes. Burroughs, in 1962, sits in a cell. He is hung over and dazed. The time is 6:28
Burroughs (He recalls that he shot his wife)
Last night.

An Anglo lawyer in a suit and carrying a briefcase stands outside the cell next to a Mexican police official

Burroughs (He panics)
Please, help me get out. You will have to, please....tell him, "You got no case."

Mexican Police officer
I want that G-note. Two thousand; come on, get some money in that treasury

Lawyer (Smiling shrewdly)
We don't owe a nickel

The lawyer hands the Mexican police official a role of money.

Mexican Police official (Winking to the lawyer)
I will settle the indictment.

Lawyer (Pats the Mexican on the back and points to the cell)
Open that door

Burroughs (Dances, literary, out of jail)
If that ain’t the payoff!


Scene 18

Hospital room, 1935. The time is 6:32. Schultz suddenly lurches up in bed and talks to the two cops who are writing down what he says. He is trying to figure out who they are.

Schultz
(Snapping his fingers at one of the cops) Max come over here.... Come on, Max, open the soap duckets. (He waits but all the cop does is laugh at him) Hymie, won't you do what I ask you this once? (He tries to stand up but the cop pushes him back down, very roughly)  O.K. Hymes would do it; not him. Henny? Henny, Henny?  Henry? Henny and Frankie?  (He points to the other cop) Frankie, please come here. Frankie! (He turns to the stenographer) Yey, Jack; hello Jack. Jack. O. The Baron does these things. Come on, John, get me up. Let me get up, sir, heh? Cam Davis. Oh, Louie, didn't I give you my door bell? Saved a man's life. Oh, Elmer was. Please, Leo, Leo; Leo, Leo! Who give it to him? Who give it to him? Tony?; See, George, if we wanted to break the ring. it wasn't Robeck or the other guy;.... He done it? Please...please...John, please. George, don't make no bull moves. It was desperate Ambrose, a little kid. Please; look out....Look....Mike..... Dumpey's door. It is so much, Abe, that....with the brewery. Hey, Jimmie! The Chimney Sweeps. Malone.... Him? John? Harry, does he behave? Dannie, will you please get me in the car?

A nurse shoots him up with morphine


Scene 19
The playwright types a new scene. Tangier, Africa, 1965. The time is 6:36  Burroughs and a friend smoke opium. Billy Burroughs, age 14, sits in a chair, bored. Burroughs stands and staggers to a bed and falls asleep. The friend turns and looks at Billy.
Friend
Come on over here; come on over. Please. Please, you know me.
The friend approaches Billy and kneels in front of him. He begins to fondle him and kiss him. The boy recoils but doesn’t move. The friend pulls Billy’s zipper down. They struggle.
Billy Burroughs
Oh, stop it! Stop it!... Please, please; Oh, please.

Friend
Oh...Please, please....

Billy Burroughs
Get out!

Friend
Please, please do this!

Billy Burroughs
No....please

Friend
Oh, yeh!

Billy Burroughs
Shit!  cut that out. Please, stop it.

Friend
Please do it for me.

Billy Burroughs
No, No! No, No; I don't....please!

Friend
Yes. Come on. How is that; how do you like that?

Billy Burroughs
All right.

Friend
Thank you,

Billy Burroughs
OK. OK

Lights fade to dark


Scene 20

Burroughs, in 1997, is sitting at his desk. He starts to type. The time is 6:40
1935, Dutch Schultz is lying in bed, delirious. A nurse shoots him up with morphine 

Schultz (Watchers as the shadows of Billy Burroughs and the friend leave the stage. Schultz turns and addresses one of the cops)
They did it. Please, he eats like a little sausage baloney maker.


Scene 21

The playwright writes. Lights fade on him.
Florida, 1969, Billy Burroughs is with a teenage male friend in the fathers writing room. Billy picks up one of his fathers many pistols and pretends to shoot it. He aims at his friend. The gun goes off. The friend is thrown to the ground by the blast, which catches him in the neck. He is alive, but barely. Billy tosses the gun down and suffers a nervous breakdown. The same two medical corpsmen in white coats who delivered his father home in 1942, now reappear and take Billy away.


Scene 22

Burroughs, in 1997, is drinking and writing.
Hospital room, 1935, Schultz is babbling to the police and the stenographer 

Schultz (Burroughs repeats every word as if it were a scat poem, he laughs)  
I had nothing with him; he was a cowboy in one of the....just what you pick up and what you need.  I don't know. No; don't put anyone near this check; the check. You might have; oh, please.
Uh heh. Oh...Oh...It is from the factory. O.K. Sure, that is a bad...well, Oh, go ahead; that happens for crying; I don't want harmony: Let me in the district; ....fire...factory that he was nowhere was near. It smoldered. communistic....strike....baloneys....Please honestly it is a habit I get;  Oh, not; I am all in; say....Please, let me get in and eat. Let him harrass [sic] himself to you and then bother you. Please get me up my friends; I know what I speak of. Please shift me. No, everything frightening; yes, no payrolls, no walls, no coupons.  That would be entirely out; pardon me; Oh, Look out, look out for him. Why can't he just pull out and give. ...control.....all right, please do. You pick me up now.


 
Scene 23

The playwright, in 2008 writes.
Billy Burroughs, 1969, in a straight jacket in a Florida mental asylum. He is rocking back and fourth.

Billy Burroughs (He is joined mid speech by Dutch Schultz and later, in the same speech by Burroughs, who, again, recites in scat, snapping his fingers and generally enjoying himself)
When you are through! thinks he is a grandpa again and he is jumping around.
Yes: I don't know. did you hear him meet me? An appointment. I will see him. fold it! Instead, fold it against him. I am a pretty good pretzeler....say listen, the...I don't want to holler.
Yes, he gave it to me. I get a month. cut me off and says you are not to be in the beneficiary of this will. Is that right? I will be checked and double-checked and please pull for me.
Will you pull? Will you pull? How many good ones and how many bad ones!
I don't want to. I still don't want him in the path. and I am sorry I acted that way so soon, already. Sure, it is no use to stage a riot. The sidewalk was in trouble and the bears were in trouble and I broke it up. Look; that is it. Oh, tell me. Please; put me in that room.
and those dirty rats have tuned in. that is something that shouldn't be spoke about; that is right.


Scene 24

The playwright is writing.
1969 Billy Burroughs is sitting in an apartment mainlining speed. There is a loud banging on the door

Offstage voice
Police!
  
Scene25

The playwright, in 2008 is writing.
1970 Billy Burroughs is typing furiously. He suddenly stops and very proudly holds up a copy of his book Speed

Burroughs
Oh, mamma!

Lights fade on


Scene 26

The playwright types a new scene. Lights fade on him.
New York, 1979. Burroughs and Billy Burroughs, age 28, are in the writing room. Burroughs stuffing hashish into a pipe for them.  Billy is suffering from liver problems. He has a yellow tinge to him.

Billy Burroughs (Drink in hand)
Give me something.

Burroughs
 I am so sick.

Burroughs lights the pipe and hands it to his son.

Burroughs (Babbling but impressed with himself)
Oh, did you buy the hotel. You promised a million...sure. Reserve decision.  You didn't meet him; you didn't even meet me; the glove will fit what I say...

Billy Burroughs
How do you know this?

When there is no answer, Billy Burroughs picks up a suitcase and exits



Scene 27

Burroughs, in 1997, starts to write. 
Hospital room, 1935 Schultz’s mother and wife, Francis, enters and stands next to the cops and the nurse at the gangster’s bedside. Schultz is trying to figure out who they are. He is calling his wife “Mamma” He cannot identify his mother

Schultz
Helen, Mother? She let her go the opposite. Come on, Rosie. Oh, Cocoa; no...That is Connie's, isn't it? Mamma, please take me out. Oh, Oh, Oh, Sure, sure, Mamma, etc. Kindly take my shoes off. No, there is a handcuff on them.  Move on, Mick and mamma. Please, Mother, Mother, please. I can't come. Please; Oh, mamma!, mamma. the reaction is so strong. Oh, mamma, mamma, please don't tear; don't rip. Please, Mother! Please. You can play jacks, and girls do that with a soft ball and do tricks with it. Oh, mamma, mamma. Please, please... Yes, I can see that. Your son-in-law, and he isn't liked, is he?

Burroughs begins to rewrite the scene. Francis bends over Schultz

Schultz
All right, dear, you have got to get it.

Schultz takes a box from under the bed and pours money out of the box onto the bed

Schultz
Over a million, five million dollars.

Francis rolls around in the cash “like a cat in catnip” sighing and moaning. Schultz jumps on her. They have sex. The lights fade. When the lights go up again, Schultz is in bed, delirious. Francis leaves the room in tears.

Schultz
Can I have a drink of water?

A detective leans in close and whispers in his ear, he brushes Schultz’s lips with the water, teasing him while he watches for the nurse.

Schultz
I don't know. I didn't even get a look. I don't know. Who can have done it? Anybody.

The cop moves the water away. Schultz touches the bullet wound

Schultz
It can be traced.

The cop leans forward and whispers in Schultz’s ear again and again touches the cup of water to the gangster’s lips teasing him with a taste. The cop whispers in the gangster’s ear

Schultz
You ain’t got nothing on him, but we got it on his helper.

The cop drips a few drops of water on Schultz lips

Schultz
Please

The nurse enters the room and the cop sits down away from Schultz

Schultz
Can I have a drink of water?

The nurse shakes her head “No”


Scene 28

The playwright, in 2008,  is writing
1974. Billy Burroughs is sitting at a dinner table with his father and Allen Ginsberg. Billy is drunk. He begins to vomit blood


Scene 29

In Schultz’s hospital room. The detectives are eating sandwiches.

Schultz
You get ahead with the dot and dash system. Didn't I speak that time last night.
sometimes I give it and sometimes I don't.

Stenographer writes it down. One of the detectives opens a newspaper

Schultz
Has it been in any other papers? Winifred...Dept. of Justice. The police are getting many complaints. I even got it from the Department, sir. I forgot I am plaintiff and not defendant. the Circuit Court would hear it, and the Supreme Court might hear it. Oh, please, warden. Please.
Appeal stuck. Give me some water, the only thing that I want. They won't let me get up; they died my shoes, open those shoes here.

Schultz Mother(In thick, low German accent)
Can I have a drink of water?

A Nurse gives her a cup, she tried to give it to her son but the nurse stops her. She pushes the nurse away and gives her son some water

Schultz
Aha....

Schultz
Please take me out of the bed. Come on, pull me up, sir.

Schultz’s Mother
That is what I want to do.

Scene 30
The playwright creates a new scene. The time is 6:44
March 3, 1981. Billy Burroughs, age 37, in a Hawaiian style shirt, is hitch hiking along a roadway in Florida, suitcase in one hand, a bottle of whisky in the other. His arms are marked with needle tracks. He downs a handful of pills with a swig of whisky

Billy Burroughs
All right; look out, look out!

He sits down on the side of the road and screams out menacingly 

Billy Burroughs
Mother is the best bet and don't let Satan draw you too fast. (Pause) Did you hear me?

He lies down and drinks more

Billy Burroughs
I am all through; I can't do another thing. Turn your back to me, please (Beat) Now he can't butt in. (Beat) But I am dying. Oh, my memory is gone.

He sits up quickly

Billy Burroughs
What am I going to do for money? No business, no hangout; no friends, nothing. I wish I knew.

A ghost like figure of Burroughs appears before him. He doesn’t pay attention to his dying son. He is smoking a joint and writing in a notebook, impressed at his own creating.

Billy Burroughs
Please get me up. Please put me up on my feet, at once. Pick me up.

Burroughs floats past his dying son and stands writing

Billy Burroughs
Did you hear me?

He yells at his father

Billy Burroughs
That is not what you have in the book. Suppose you help me get up now, like a swell fellow.

Beat

Billy Burroughs
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Joan Vollmer appears

Billy Burroughs
Oh, Mamma, Mamma, Mamma! Oh, mamma, I can't go through with it, please.

Joan Vollmer (To Burroughs who pays her no mind)
What have you done with him?

Billy Burroughs
He changed for the worse. Oh, please let me up. Please....Don't ask me to go there;
oh, oh, Mamma, please let me get up.

He falls back and dies.

Billy Burroughs
No; don't you scare me. A boy has never wept...nor dashed a thousand Kim.

He dies


Scene 31

1997, Burroughs writes

1935, Dutch Schultz is lying in bed. He suddenly sits up and screams

Schultz
A boy has never wept nor

He dies. The nurse checks his pulse. She looks at the cops and shakes her head “No”. The police and the stenographer leave. The nurse leaves. Schultz’s mother reaches into her purse and pulls out a Jewish prayer shawl and covers her son. She sits down and begins Shiva.   


Scene 32

Burroughs office. Joan Vollmer, Billy Burroughs and Dutch Schultz are in the office behind Burroughs. Vollmer is taking some of Burroughs dope. Billy is reading books from the shelve and drinking and Dutch is stealing things. At 6:49, Burroughs grabs his chest and recoils in pain. He picks up the phone and dials 911.

Burroughs
No. Please help me up.

He hangs up the phone. Several seconds pass

Burroughs
I'm getting my wind back, thank God!

Another pain rips across his chest, he lurches forward.

Burroughs
I was looking for something.

Beat

Burroughs
A boy has never wept...nor dashed a thousand Kim.

The clock reads 6:50. His head falls forward on the desk. He is dead.


Scene 33

The playwright looks over his work and turns off the desk light. The stage goes dark.


END OF PLAY




THE  DUTCHMANS  SOLILOQUY

ACT 1
SCENE 1

Jack Friedman (Giving testimony to Conlon)
My name is Jack Friedman. I’m the night bartender at the Palace Chop House in downtown Newark. As I told the cops, on the night of  October 23, 1935, Dutch Schultz comes in the place with three of his guys Lulu Rosenkrantz, Otto Berman and Abe Landau, just like them come in every night that whole month. My understanding that Mew York’s mayor Fiorello La Guardia ordered his cops to pinch the Dutchman for any reason at all and to use force if they had too. We all know what that means right? Anyways, they take their usual booth and order some steaks and fries like they do every night. The Dutchman he gets up to go to the can. A few minutes later the front door opened suddenly and a heavy-set man walked into the barroom and I heard a voice order, 'Don't move, lay down.' I could hardly discern his face as he pulled his topcoat up to hide it. I saw him place his hand on his left shoulder and whip out a gun from a holster. I didn't wait any longer. I dropped to the floor and lay behind the bar." I know shooting. I was in the trenches in France during the war. So I hear the shooting and down. I peek up over the bar and another guy with a shotgun. They fired into Rosenkrantz, Berman and Landau, real good. Killed em dead. 18 bullets in like, what? Two minutes? Maybe not even that long. When everything goes quiet, I stands up see? The first thing I noticed was Schultz. He came reeling out like he was intoxicated. He had a hard time staying on his pins and he was hanging on to his side. He didn't say a cockeyed thing. He just went over to a table and put his left hand on it kind of to steady him and then he plopped into a chair, just like a souse would. His head bounced on the table and I thought that was the end of him but pretty soon, he moved. He said,

Jack Friedman and Schultz
'Get a doctor, quick,'

Exit Jack Friedman, Dark stage.

SCENE 2

Schultz is in a hospital bed. Officer Conlon is sitting at bedside. Francis, age 21, enters and places a crucifix over Schultz’s bed. She wears bottle thick, black rimmed glasses. Dixie Davis, in a suit and carrying varied case, stands next to Schultz’s mother, Emma.

Francis
Arthur, my husband, is a Jew but he converted to Catholic... Catholicity...into be being a Catholic like me after his tax trial because he said Jesus himself comes to him one night in his sleep and says he gonna spare him from prison. Imagine that.

Emma Flegenheimer
When my husband and I arrived in America, before we moved out the Bronx, we moved to Second Avenue, off 89th Street. The Lower East Side That is where Arthur was born. Everybody there was Jewish and from Germany, so we were not religious, we were just who we were. We never Arthur to synagogue. We had a kosher chicken every Friday night for dinner. I did what I could. I loved my son and I tried to be a good mother to him. What more can a mother do?
Francis
 Arthur is a very spiritual man, it’s a side of him people and the cops don’t know about 

Dixie Davis
He was also a paranoid murdering lunatic. Frankly, I’m surprised he didn’t shoot Jesus for disturbing his sleep waking him. Personally, I never did believe ‘that Jesus came to me in my sleep’ line anyway.  I think he converted because he intended to become a government witness. A previous dramatic conversion would make his story about seeing the light of justice as logical as seeing the light of Jesus. That’s why the killed him you know. The Mafia. They knew he intended to work a deal with District Attorney. But forgive me, I have not introduced myself. Dixie Davis, attorney at law. I represented the Dutchman his tax trial. In July 1935, New York Gov. Harry Lehman appointed Thomas E. Dewey special prosecutor, with orders to cleanup New York. Since Dutch was the loudest and bloodiest and richest of the kingpins that Dewey intended to take down, he fell into the crosshairs first. When Dewey finally made a case against us, a tax case. Dutch was looking at 45 years in prison if convicted. Our legal team managed to...I’ll use the word ...convince...the judge hearing the case that Dutch could not get a fair trial in New York City. He was too well known. So we were able to move the case to upstate to Malone, New York. I must say Dutch handled the public relations on that one like a true genius. The cash flowed all over that county. And it was the midst of the great depression don’t forget. Mortgages got paid off, houses and cars got bought. You name, Dutch paid for it. And it worked too. In the late summer of 1935 he  was acquitted of tax evasion.

Schultz
Has it been in any other papers?

Dixie Davis
Dutch loved reading about himself in the newspaper. He carried the clipping around, a few in his wallet, pant pockets, suit coat pocket. And woe to the reporter who wrote even a negative line about him. Like  Meyer Berger . He described Dutch as "a pushover for a blonde", Schultz actually tracked him down and demanded a retraction and an apology "What kind of language is that to use in the New York Times?", he screamed at Berger. And Mister Berger did apologize by the way. Probably because he had once seen the Dutchman beat a hood with a chair because he made a remark about Francis, Dutch’s wif, wearing thick glasses. The punk had a .32 on him and never reached for. I guess he figured ‘better beaten than dead’
Violence was his calling card. Dutch was a little high strung and nervous during the tax trial. Easily agitated one might say. At the time, the Dutchman had a man working in his operation named Jules Modgilewsky, a huge, brooding hoodlum who broke legs and arms on Mr. Schultz’s request. The Dutchman liked Modgilewsky, although for the very life of me, I cannot tell you why.  So he appointed Modgilewsky to run his restaurant rackets. It was a simple operation. They extorted restaurant owners and workers through beatings and bombings and forced them to join a union Dutch owned called the Metropolitan Restaurant & Cafeteria Owners Association. It turned out that $70,000 was missing from the unions accounts and Dutch suspected that Mister Modgilewsky took it because he figured, incorrectly, that I would lose the trial and Dutch would go to jail for ten years. Well I won the trial; with out with out the help of the good lord Jesus, but I did win the trial. So that same afternoon, this would be March 3, 1935, Dutch called Mister Modgilewsky up to his suite at the Harmony Hotel in upstate New York and accuse him of stealing the $70,000. Well Modgilewsky was indignant, indignant I tell you. He said he stole $20,000 and not $70,000 and that the Dutchman had some nerve accusing him in the first place. Well Dutch Schultz was ugly; he had been drinking and suddenly he had his gun out. The Dutchman wore his pistol under his vest, tucked inside his pants, right against his belly. One jerk at his vest and he had it in his hand. All in the same quick motion, he swung it up, stuck it in Jules Martin’s mouth and pulled the trigger. It was as simple and undramatic as that – just one quick motion of the hand. The Dutchman did that murder just as casually as if he were picking his teeth. While Modgilewsky wiggled in pain on the floor before he died, the Dutchman had the curtsey and good manners to turn to me and apologize for killing someone in front of me. The next day I read the paper and was shocked to find out that Modgilewsky’s body was found alongside a road with a dozen stab wounds. I asked the Dutchman about that he replied, “I cut his fuck’n heart out”

Schultz
George, don't make no full moves.

Dixie
George, George Weinberg, the Dutchman’s manager over his Harlem policy racket and the chief mover and shaker behind his numbers banks. George had a brother named Abe, whom just about everyone called Bo. Bo Weinberg was the Dutchman’s chief enforcer and was probably the murder of Legs Diamond, Mad Dog Coll and Salvatore Maranzano. When that annoying tax trial came along, Dutch left Bo to run things for him. When it was all over, Dutch came back and somehow got it into his mind that Bo had Been secretly negotiating with Lucky Luciano, the Mafia Boss. I don’t think he was, I think old Bo was loyal to the Dutchman but sometimes, Schultz just became so damned paranoid that there was no talking to him. So he called Bo down to his suit in Manhattan and shot him through the head with a .45. Simple as that. Do you know how he explained the death to Bo’s brother, George? He called George into the office and he says, “George, we had to put on kimono on Bo” It was just that simple. I heard the boys tied cement blocks to Bo’s body and tossed him into the East River. They slit the belly so the body wouldn’t bloat up and float to the surface. A while later, George got thinking about how the Dutchman killed his brother, who was a very tough individual and he wondered how long it would be before his time came along so he decided to testify for the government. Except, Ol George, he never did do well under pressure. An entire squad of police had him under protection 24 hours a day, seven days a week at a safe house outside of White Plains. Didn’t matter. George grabbed one of the police officers guns and in the flash of an eye, shot himself through the eye.

Schultz
What have you done with him? Oh, mama, mama, mama. Oh stop it, stop it, eh, oh, oh. Sure, sure, mama. Now listen, Phil, fun is fun

Dixie Davis
Phil, none other than Dandy Phil Kastel. He was a drug pusher who supplied Dutch with his slot machines that he had all over the city, thousands of them. Dandy Phil, he was a fine dresser, I will say for him, was lined up with Arnold Rothstein and later on with Frank Costello, the Mafia Godfather over New York. In the forties, Costello and his Mafia friends financed Dandy Phil in taking over the great state of Louisiana. Their partner was Governor Huey Long. They had slot machines from one end of that fine state to another.  The Mafia eventually decided they need Phil and pushed him right out of the criminal empire he had built. 
Dandy Phil went blind and holed up in a room at the Roosevelt Hotel. He didn’t come out much. One day he just stops coming out of that room at all and when they went in to see why, Dandy Phil was dead, he had been dead for a few weeks. Shot himself in the head.

Schultz
Ah please, papa.

Emma Flegenheimer
Why does he call his good for nothing father? His name Herman. Herman Flegenheimer
We came from Germany. He ran a saloon on Bergen and Webster Avenues in the Bronx. One day, when Francis, you call him Dutch, he calls himself Dutch, Dutch-smutchs, its Francis, I’m his mother, I shouldn’t know my own sons name?  Anyway, one day when Francis was 14 years old, his father up and disappears. We never heard from him again. It hurt Francis, all his life, even as a man, he refused to admit his father abandoned him. He told people that he was a respectable businessman ...ha! I laugh...and he died from a rare disease. Because his father abandoned us, Arthur had to leave school. He didn’t have to leave, he left because we had no money and he went to work to support us. I did what I could to make ends meet. I was the janitor in our tenement and I took in wash.

Schultz
Come on, I am I doing here with my collection of papers. 

He is a good son. A good boy. He sold newspaper at the subway station at 149th Street and Third Avenue. He ran errands, worked as an office boy, at a printing press and later as a roofer

Dixie Davis
Young Arthur did make money, but mostly by doing everything and he could to break the law.
Dutch roamed the streets of the slum where he grew up. He hustled pool games at the Bergen Social Club, home of the Bergen Gang, near the Yankee Stadium. While he was still in high pants, he fell under the influence of a local hood with a substantial criminal record named Marcel Poffo.  Although they were both barely teenagers, Poffo showed Dutch the ropes; boosting packages off delivery trucks, looting the neighborhood stores, breaking into apartments, sticking up dice games that wouldn't pay for protection. Poffo went on to rob banks. He crossed somebody the wrong way someplace. They found his body along the side of a road up in Westchester County a few years ago.  Dutch got caught breaking into an apartment n the Bronx, was convicted and sent to Roosevelt Island prison and Westhampton Work Farms. He escaped twice, picked up the nickname Dutch that he borrowed from a legendary street brawler from the old Frog Hollow Gang. That was in 1919. By 1935, his rap sheet included arrests for disorderly conduct, grand larceny, three charges of  felonious assault,  assault and robbery, robbery with a gun, homicide with a gun and the suspicion that he either directly or indirectly played a role in the murder of 135 people.


Emma Flegenheimer
I asked him why he was always in trouble. He said, "Every time the cops started one of their supposed clean-ups and all, they'd send some cop over to wherever I was located and they'd charge me with anything. Then some A. & P. clerk would come and identify me for some stickup just to get their name in the papers, and next day I'd be turned out. That's how come I got a record." I believed him to. They do that these cops, they find someone to pick on and they don’t stop. Ask any colored person, they’ll tell you the same thing.

Francis
Arthur was a Deputy Sheriff in The Bronx. You never hear the newspaper write about that. They just want the bad things. Eddie Flynn himself appointed Arthur to the job. Eddie Flynn, the democratic boss that FDR appointed to be Ambassador to Australia. But you never hear good thing like that about Arthur.

Dixie Davis
Every Wise Guy in New York bought a deputy’s badge from Eddie Flynn. You know why? Gave the holder the right to carry a loaded pistol in the city New York.

Schultz
What happened to the sixteen? Oh, oh, he done it, please. John, please, oh, did you buy the hotel? You promised a million sure.

Dixie Davis
He must be talking about John Torrio, the mob boss pushed out of Chicago by Al Capone.
Torrio was a New Yorker and with Arnold Rothstein dead, John Torrio stepped into his place as the financier for the underworld. Just before he died, Schultz was trying to but a hotel up in Bridgeport, Connecticut where he was Thinking about relocating after he got out of the rackets. Johnny Torrio was going to finance the deal. In 1933, Torrio and Dutch tried to take over the Bonding business in New York before the Government stopped them.

Schultz
Get out. I wished I knew. Please make it quick, fast and furious. Please. Fast and furious.
Please help me get out; I am getting my wind back, thank God. Please, please, oh please. You will have to please tell him, you got no case. You get ahead with the dot dash system didn't I speak that time last night. Whose number is that in your pocket book, Phi1 13780.
Who was it?

Dixie Davis
Trouble in paradise?

Francis
Oh shut up, shyster





Dixie Davis
Well whose number was that in your pocket book Francis? He is talking about you isn’t he, dear? That marriage may not have been what some think it was. Francis knew about those other women. Did you know the police suspected she led the shooters to the Palace Chop house on purpose? A couple of the investigators were certain Francis herself had hired the shooters out of jealousy. I am not one to spread gossip and ill talk I’m just saying that what I heard.  

Schultz
Oh- please, please. Reserve decision. Police, police Henry and Frankie. Oh, oh, dog biscuits and when he is happy he doesn't get happy please, please to do this.

Dixie Davis
Dog biscuits...gang slang for money, cash. Dutch had plenty of money. Bootlegging during the prohibition made him rich beyond his dreams. One could not but a beer in all the Bronx that Dutchman didn’t get paid for in some way, shape manner or form. The Rock brothers ruled over large parts of the Bronx during the early years of prohibition. They sent Dutch a few message to let him know they were in charge. That is not the way to handle Dutch Schultz. In fact, if they had simply come to the Dutchman, hat in hand and asked nice as pie that he take his beer operation somewhere else, he might have done it. He was strange that way. But telling the Dutchman what to do and threatening him if he didn’t do it? Bad idea. Dutch kidnapped Joey Rock. Beat him for two days and hung him by his thumbs on a meat hook and wrapped a gauze bandage smeared with discharge from a gonorrhea infection over his eyes. Other said gasoline. Doesn’t matter. Had the same effect. He went blind. Dutch let him go, or what was left of him, after the family paid a $35,000 ransom. Anyway, after that, the Rock Brothers of the Bronx were no more. Oh, the Dutchman loved money. You can insult Arthur’s girl, spit in his face, push him around, and he’ll laugh, said Davis. But don’t steal a dollar from his accounts. If you do, you’re dead. He loved power too. One morning, before court started he was reading in the newspaper about the Russian revolution and his eyes glistened as he told me how the Bolsheviks had taken over the gold from a government bank. ‘Those guys are just like me,’ he said. ‘They’re just a mob. If I’d been there with my mob, I could have taken over, just like they did. But over here,’ he added sadly, ‘the time isn’t ripe yet.’

Schultz
Then Henry, Henry, Frankie, you didn't even meet me.

Dixie Davis
Henry Margolis and Frankie Ahearn, two hoods who went way back with Dutch  from his days as the Bronx beer baron. They were all indicted together in the1933 tax rap. Henry and Frankie were innocent, the government knew that, but the government also knew they were guilty of a  lot of other things and figured they could used that to pressure them to testify falsely against Dutch. They didn’t do it. Last I heard, they were in the restaurant business.

Schultz
The glove will fit what I say oh, Kayiyi, oh Kayiyi. Sure who cares when you are through?
How do you know this? How do you know this? Well, then oh, Cocoa know thinks he is a grandpa again. He is jumping around. No Hobo and Poboe I think he means the same thing.

Dixie Davis
Last year, J. Edgar Hoover  of the FBI declared Dutch Public Enemy No. 1. Do you know, when he heard that, Dutch every one out to a fine restaurant in midtown to celebrate. Gangsters are not like you and I. They think differently. While he out on bail on the tax charges, he tried to bribe a cop, converted to Catholicism, was all the rage of the Park Avenue socialites and murdered Jules Modgilewsky. It was a busy week.

Conlon
Who shot you?

Schultz
The boss himself

Dixie Davis
The Boss himself, Charlie Lucky, Lucky Luciano.  He gave the okay to the others members of the syndicate to move in on Dutch’s rackets when the Dutchman was upstate tied up with the tax case. It was Lucky who gave the order to take Schultz out. No one else had that kind of authority.   

Conlon
 He did?

Schultz
Yes. (Pause, realizing what he just said) I don't know.

Conlon
What did he shoot you for?

Schultz
I showed him boss; did you hear him meet me? An appointment. Appeal stuck. All right, mother.
Francis
Arthur was not the man the newspapers said he was, a thug and a hood with no education.
He loved the better things in live, to be sure. He loved art, the painting kind and at night he would read to me, he just finished reading Hervey Allen to me, or was it Anthony Adverse?
Yeah, he was real smart. Arthur read Shakespeare, and he could talk about him too. Like you would ask what choice you have in life or something and he goes ‘Faith as you say, there is small choice in rotten apples and you go’ Arthur, what the hell does that mean’ and he’d go ‘Shakespeare’ 

Dixie Davis
He did quote the Bard. That is true. Remarkable, but true. He knew Plato as well. The man didn’t get past 6th grade but he devoured the great writers o his time, Stefan Zweig, Emil Ludwig, Ambrose Bierce. 

Francis
Me, I’m not so smart, book smart anyways, but I was sharp enough to hook Dutch Schultz. We met three years ago. I just turned 18 and I was working as the hatcheck girl in the Maison Royal, a swell speakeasy, a real high-class place. I never been out of Hells kitchen before so it’s a real exciting time in my life to be sure. So one night I met Arthur when he comes in the joint. I was real impressed with his good English, his good manners, his quiet dress and he was real unassuming, disarming. It was love at first sight when he handed me his fedora and looked into my eyes. Three months later, we was married and moved into a really big over in Jackson Heights in Queens. We were always happy. He bought me this charm bracelet, its gold by the way, see the charms? That’s a whisky bottle, that Christ’s head, that’s a wine glass, this was a
miniature revolver. I will always treasure it because Arthur said it represented his life and interests.

Dixie Davis
Makes you wonder why it doesn’t have a miniature coffin and dollar bill on it. You know, by the way, he probably had three wives and at least two different sets of children

Francis
I heard the rumors and they are not true. There was no other women. There was only the two children and Arthur and me loved us all very much. I’ll be real proud to tell the children about him when they are older. He used to say that the Prohibition law was made by racketeers and that he was doing a public service providing liquor for people who wanted it. He said he and his kind were victims of a vicious law. He gave people what they wanted and the law decided they shouldn’t have but like Arthur always said, "I may do a lot of lousy things but I'll never make a living off women or narcotics." Arthur left the children and I penniless. Seven million dollars. That’s how much money Arthur was supposed to have had and it simply disappeared.  I think that shyster lawyer of his took it. Dixie Davis is the only Judas my husband ever knew. Dixie was the only one close enough to Arthur to know how much he actually had. That Arthur will die almost a pauper is unbelievable. Davis lives in luxury while the children and me will have to struggle to get by.

Dixie Davis
Oh, that woman is out her mind! Poor child. Me? A thief? Why I am a member of the bar! I have absolutely no idea where the Dutchman’s money went; personally, I believe she’s crying poverty to keep the taxman for her door. I believe the Dutchman left her the missing seven million in a box someplace. Took his money, indeed. Why that scoundrel died owing me over $1000, 000 in legal services!  I never Schultz to have any rainy day money. He used to collect gold banknotes because he just adored that kind of paper, you know, how it shone and all. He stored the notes in a specially made steel box three feet long and two feet wide.

Conlon
Then where’s the money?

Francis
Well, I don’t know where the money is!

Dixie Davis
Well, I certainly don’t know where the money is!

They look over at Emma Flegenheimer

Emma Flegenheimer
It’s very warm in here isn’t it?

Conlon
Was it the boss shot you?

Schultz (Smiling broadly)
Who shot me? No one.

Conlon
Was it bow-legs?

Schultz
Yes, he might have shot me; it wasn't Robeck or the other guy I will see him  I never forget
and if I do I will be very careful.

Sergeant Conlon
Was it bow-legs who shot you?

Schultz
I don't know who shot me, honest to God! Suppose you help me up now, like a swell fellow.

Dixie Davis
Who the hell is Bowlegs? I know every snake that crawls in the underworld and I have never heard of anyone named Bowlegs, well not since Monk Eastman died.

Conlon
Monk Eastman is dead?

Dixie Davis
I must be in New Jersey. They shot Bowlegs Eastman to death fifteen years ago

Conlon
It doesn’t matter. He’s never gonna rat this guy. When Dutch was at war with Mad Dog Coll, he comes around to the 42nd Police Precinct in The Bronx one day in 1931 and offers to put a bounty on Mad Dog Coll’s head, the way they used to do it in the Old West. Its true. I was there. In the middle of the day he walks into the detective squad room and says "Look, I want the Mick killed. He's driving me out of my mind. I'll give a house in Westchester to any of you guys who knocks him off." There were three detectives on hand and me. I says "Arthur, do you know what the hell you're saying? You know you're in the Morrisania station?"
"I know where I am," Schultz snaps at me "I've been here before. I just came in to tell ya I'll pay good to any cop that I kills the Mick."
I said "If you tell us you know what you're saying, Arthur, then you must be out of your head."
"I know what I'm saying," Schultz says  "The guy that kills the Mick gets the Honor Medal anyway--I'm just makin' it more interesting."
"Okay," I says "Then get your ass out of here before we pinch you. You hafta be out of your head."

Schultz
Will you get me up? O.K., I won't be such a creep. Oh, mamma, I can't go through with it, please. Oh! and then he clips me. Come on, Shit! Cut that out, we don't owe a nickel; fold it! Instead, fold it against him. I am a pretty good pretzeler.

Dixie Davis
I am a pretty good pretzeler, A German, that was what he called himself. A pretty good pretzeler

Schultz
.. Winifred...Dept. of Justice I even got it from the Department, sir. Please, stop it; say listen, the  last night!

Conlon
Now, don't holler.

Schultz
I don't want to holler.

Conlon
What did they shoot you for?

                                                                       Schultz
I don't know, sir; honestly I don't. I don't even know who was with me; honestly. I went to the toilet and when I reached, the boy came at me.

Conlon
The big fellow gave it to you?

                                                                      Schultz
Yes, he gave it to me.

Conlon
Do you know who the big fellow was?

Schultz
No See, George, if we wanted to break the ring.

Dixie Davis
The ring, the Mafia. Oh how the Dutchman hated the mafia. Italians in general, but the Mafia specifically

Schultz
No... please. I get a month. They did it. Come on, cut me off and says you are not to be the in the beneficiary of this will. I will be checked and double-checked and please pull for me.

Sergeant Conlon
We will pull for you.

Schultz:
Will you pull? Will you pull? These native children make this and sell you the joint. How many good ones and how many bad ones? Please I had nothing with him; he was a cowboy in one of the Seven days a week fight. No business, no hangout; no friends, nothing; just what you pick up and what you need.

Dixie Davis
Cowboy, that was what Dutch called Legs Diamond. For the most part, Dutch ran his bootlegging operation out of in the Bronx with his partner Joey Noe. When Dutch and Noe moved the beer operation into Manhattan, they came into direct contact with an Irishman from Philadelphia, Legs Diamond who was a s crazy and violent as the Dutchman. He was also backed up financial by Mister Big, Arnold Rothstein. With in a few weeks a shooting war broke out between them. Joey Noe died first, shot dead outside a speakeasy called Chateau Madrid on 54th street. Dutch answered that by having Rothstein gunned down outside the Park Royal Hotel. I know because the killer, a cop named Hump McManus. As Dutch’s lawyer, I was the first person the Hump called right after he killed Rothstein and that’s all I will say about it. Later that year, Dutch’s gunners kicked in the door of Diamonds hotel room, and put five bullets in to. He survived but he fled New York for Europe. When he got back a year later, Dutch arranged for the Albany police to put one through Diamond’s head while he was sleeping. I asked Dutch how he felt about that and he said ‘Diamond was just another punk caught with his hands in my pockets.’


Conlon
Who was it shot you?

                                                                     Schultz
I don't know. No, don't put anyone near this check; the check. You might have;
oh, please. Please do it for me. Let me get up, sir, heh? This is Connie's, isn't it?
 Uh heh. In the olden days they waited and they waited. Please give me a shot. Please.
Oh...Oh...it is from the factory. O.K. Sure, that is bad...well, Oh, go ahead; that happens for crying; I don't want harmony; I want harmony. Oh, mamma, mamma. Who give it to him? Who give it to him? Tony? Let me in the district; ...fire...factory that he was nowhere near. It smoldered. No, No! There are only ten of us and there are ten million fighting somewhere in front of you, so get your onions up and we will throw up the truce flag.

Dixie Davis
Onions, girls, easy girls

Schultz
Oh, please let me up; Leo, Leo! Oh, yeh! No, No; I don't...please! Please shift me.
 Police are here; Communistic strike baloneys

Dixie Davis
He’s talking about his favorite hate, and Dutch had a whole lotta hates, but he really hated unions. He owned a few, not real ones,  

Schultz
Please; honestly it is a habit I get; sometimes I give it and sometimes I don't.
Oh, not; I am all in; say... that settles it. Are you sure? Please, he eats like a little baloney sausage maker. Please, let me get in and eat. Let him harass himself to you and then bother you.
Please... Don't ask me to go there; I don't want to. I still don't want him in the path.
Please, Leo, Leo; I was looking for someone. Meet my lady, Mrs. Pickford! I'm sorry I acted that way so soon, already. Sure, it is no need to stage a riot. The sidewalk was in trouble and the bears were in trouble and I broke it up.

Dixie
Sidewalk...his word for freedom to be gangster. Like, he said to me once  "If I don't make the sidewalk soon, my rackets will go to pieces."

Schultz
Please; Oh, mamma! No knock to her, she didn't know. Look; that is it. She let her go the opposite. Oh, tell me. Please, put me in that room room; please keep him in control; my gilt-edge stuff, and those dirty rats have tuned in.

Dixie Davis
My gilt-edge stuff, and those dirty rats have tuned in. He built his money making rackets...his gilt edge stuff...and now the rats, the Mafia tuned in on him and want a piece of it 

Schultz
Please, Mother, Mother, Mother, please, the reaction is so strong. Oh, mamma, mamma, please don't tear; don't rip; that is something that shouldn't be spoke about; that is right.
Please get me up my friends; I know what I speak of. Please, look out, the shooting is a bit wild, and that kind of shooting. Saved a man's life. Oh, Elmer was.

Dixie Davis
Elmer, Elmer Irey, chief of the Treasury Departments Enforcement Bureau and the man who put Al Capone behind bars on a tax rap and now those same people were after the Dutchman

Schultz
No, everything frightening;  yes, no payrolls, no walls, no coupons. That would be entirely out; pardon me; oh, yeh! Oh, I forgot I am a plaintiff and not defendant. Look out, look out for him.
Please...and he owes me money; he owes everyone money. Why can't he just pull out and give me...control...all right, please do. Please, Mother! You pick me up now. Please, you know me.

Dixie Davis
Now if the cops were smart...I’m sorry...I thought I could say that with a straight face....but of they were, they would figure out that the Dutchman has always been on the defensive against the police and all during this soliloquy of his he never once sank so far into unconsciousness that they could break down that defense. What they should have done was cleared the room and brought in a woman he might mistake for his mother and have her pepper him with questions...like where’s all your loot...well that’s what I would have asked, I guess the cops would want something more substantial than that

Schultz
Oh, Louie, didn't I give you my door bell? Everything you got, the whole bill.
And did you come for your rest in the doctor's office, sir? Yes, I can see that.
Your son-in-law, and he isn't liked, is he? Harry, does he behave? No; don't you scare me
my friends think I do a better job. Oh, police are looking for you all over please be instrumental in letting us know. That wouldn't be here they are Englishmen and they are a type I don't know who is best, they or us. Oh, sir, and get the doll a roofing. Please.

Dixie Davis
He wanted to make sure one of the women in his life was taken care of, had a place to stay, a roof over her head.

Schultz
You can play jacks, and girls do that with a soft ball and do tricks with it.
Please; I may take all events into consideration; no, no. And it is no; a boy has never wept...nor dashed a thousand kin... did you hear me? Now leave it or take it. No, I might be in the playing for I know. Come on over here, come on over. Oh, Duckie, see we skipped again.

Dixie Davis
We sure did. We got an acquittal in the second trial too. That acquittal so outraged Mayor Fiorello La Guardia hat he issued orders to his police that they arrest Dutch on sight for any reason at all and may the bill of right be damned. So Dutch moved his base of operations across the river to Newark and that was how he came to be in the Palace Chop House tonight.

Conlon
Who shot you?

Schultz
I don't know.

Dixie Davis
He won’t even tell you his name if you ask him for it ,copper

Conlon
How many shots were fired?

Schultz
I don't know.

Dixie Davis
He won’t give you the time of day, my friend. Code of the underworld and all

Conlon
How many?

Schultz
Two thousand. Come one, get some money in that treasury. We need it.

Dixie Davis
Money. That’s all he lived for. He was one of the wealthiest men in New York, yet he was one of the cheapest men I ever met, practically a miser. He bragged about paying $35 for a suit in so long as it came with two pairs of pants. His big splurge, for himself, was buying four or five newspaper a day to see if he could find a story about himself. Lucky Luciano dressed the like the pimp he was and refused to be seen in public with Dutch because he said he ‘dressed like a pig’  and he did. He really didn’t care what the world thought.

Schultz
Come on, please get it. I can't tell you to. That is not what you have in the book. Oh, please warden. What am I going to do for money? Please put me up on my feet at once. You are a hard-boiled man. Did you hear me? I would hear it, the Circuit Court would hear it! and the Supreme Court might hear it!  If that ain't the pay-off.  Please crack down on the Chinaman's friends and Hitler's commander. I am sore and I am going up and I am going to give you honey if I can. Mother is the best bet and don't let Satan draw you too fast.

Dixie Davis
Please crack down on the Chinaman's friends. The Chinaman was Chink Sherman. Dutch killed him too. Covered him in lime and buried him n a farm near Monticello in the Catskills

Conlon
What did the big fellow shoot you for?

Schultz
Him? John? Over a million, five million dollars.

Dixie Davis
John, Johnny Torrio. The Mafia. That’s why they shot the Dutchman. He gave Conlon the answer he was looking for. Dutch’s rackets were worth five million a year. Now in 1935, one can purchased a deluxe Cadillac for with a full tank of gas and years insurance for $600. 

Conlon
You want to get well, don't you?

Schultz
Yes.

Conlon
Then lie quiet.

Dixie Davis
Then stop asking him stupid questions that you know he won’t answer

Schultz
Yes, I will lie quiet.

Conlon
John shot you and we will take care of John.

Dixie Davis
You have no idea who John is, do you copper?

Schultz
That is what caused the trouble. Look out! Please let me up. If you do this, you can go on and jump right here in the lake. I know who they are. They are French people. All right. Look out, look out. Oh, my memory is gone. A work relief police. Who gets it? I don't know and I don't want to know, but look out! It can be traced. He changed for the worse. Please look out!  my fortunes have changed and come back and went back since that. It was desperate. I am wobbly. You ain't got nothing on him but you got it on his helper.

Conlon
Control yourself.

Schultz
 But I am dying.

Conlon
No, you are not.

Schultz
Come on, mama. All right, dear, you have to get it.
 (To the nurse) May I have a drink of water?

She gives him one

Schultz
Look out for my dick

Frances
This is Frances.

Schultz
Then pull me out. I am half crazy. They won't let me get up. They dyed my shoes. Open those shoes. Give me something. I am so sick. Give me some water, the only thing that I want.
Open this up and break it so I can touch you. Danny, please get me in the car.

Conlon
Who shot you?

Schultz
I don't know. I didn't even get a look. I don't know. Who can have done it? Anybody. Kindly take my shoes off.

                                                                 Conlon  
They are off.

                                                                  Schultz
No, there is a handcuff on them. The Baron does these things. I know what I am doing here with my collection of papers, for crying out loud! It isn't worth a nickel to two guys like you or me, but to a collector it is worth a fortune; it is priceless. I am going to turn it over to Turn your back to me, please Henry. I am so sick now. The police are getting many complaints.
Look out. Yey, Jack; hello Jack. Jack, mamma. I want that G-note. Look out, for Jimmie Valentine, for he is an old pal of mine!

Dixie Davis
You know that song? (He sings) Look out, look out, look out for Jimmy Valentine, For he's a pal of mine, A sentimental crook with a touch that lingers, In his sand-papered fingers, He can find the combination of your pocketbook. They made it into a film in 1928, which is probably what the Dutchman is going on about. The movie starred Lionel Barrymore and Billy Haines

Schultz
Come on, Jim, come on Jimmie. oh, thanks. OK. OK. I am all through; I can't do another thing.
Hymie, won't you do what I ask you this once? Look out! Mamma, mamma!
Look out for her. You can't beat him. Police, Mamma! Helen, Mother, please take me out.
Come on, Rosie. O.K. Hymes would do it; not him. I will settle.....the indictment. Come on, Max, open the soap duckets.

Dixie Davis
Soap duckets, money

Schultz
Frankie, please come here. Open that door, Dumpey's door. It is so much, Abe, that....with the brewery. Come on. Hey, Jimmie! The Chimney Sweeps.

Dixie Davis
Chimney sweeps...his word for the coloreds. He was being nice. On his ledgers from the policy rackets in Harlem, he simply wrote the word Niggers to signify the cash he had to share with his partners in the policy rackets up there. With the end of Prohibition, Dutch decided that the best new source of cash would come out of the poorest part of the city, Harlem. Gambling was huge in Harlem. So Dutch set up a game where the players had to choose three numbers, which were then derived from the last number before the decimal in the odds at the racetrack. To make sure he won, Dutch would floor the bets at  the track at the last minute in order to alter the odds.  That way he always won. The Harlem numbers racket brought in about ten million a year for the Dutch, all of it tax free.
 
Schultz
Talk to the Sword.

Frances
Sword, he called his...schlong...the sword. 

Dixie Davis
Dutch called an emergency meeting of the syndicate bosses and announced that he assigned one of his guys to tail US Attorney Dewey and that they had enough of his schedule down tight to kill Dewey the first thing in the morning. The syndicate bosses voted unanimously against killing Dewey, of course. Joe Bonanno called the plot ‘insane’. Dutch was pretty pissed off and he told them he was going to do what he had to do to stay alive. That sealed his fate. A lot of things sealed his fate. The fact that he might rat them all out sealed it, and the possibility that he might turn his guns on them, or that he just might kill Dewey anyway, that sealed it too. But mostly what sealed the fate of Dutch Schultz was Dutch Schultz. He was an obnoxious, belligerent  dinosaur who had lived past his day, he threatened their interests and their future and now it was time for him to die. When he left the syndicate meeting, the other bosses stayed on. They voted on it then and there. A few hours later Dutch and the boys went to the Palace Chop to eat steaks and talk about the future.

Schultz
Shut up, you got a big mouth! Please help me up, Henny. Max come over here  French Canadian bean soup

Conlon (Feels Schultz’s pulse)
It’s all over. He’s dead.

Emma Flegenheimer places a Jewish prayer shawl over her son

Dixie Davis
He was 35 years old. They should not have killed him. He was the only thing separating them from the public’s attention. Before the end of the decade, Murder Incorporated was closed and its members electrocuted, Vito Genovese fled the country, Louis Buchalter was tried and executed, Johnny Torrio was sent to prison and District Attorney Dewey managed to have Lucky Luciano deported. They should have left the Dutch alive, just a little bit longer. 


END OF PLAY