Is
the acorn better than the oak which is its fullness and completion?
I
suffer whenever I see that common sight of a parent or senior imposing his
opinion and way of thinking and being on a young soul to which they are totally
unfit. Cannot we let people be themselves and enjoy life in their own way? You
are trying to make that man another you. One's enough.
There
is always safety in valor.
Valor
consists in the power of self- recovery.
The
value of a principle is the number of things it will explain; and there is no
good theory of disease which does not at Once suggest a cure.
HERE'S MY LATEST BOOK.....
This is a book of
short stories taken from the things I saw and heard in my childhood in the
factory town of Ansonia in southwestern Connecticut.
Most of these
stories, or as true as I recall them because I witnessed these events many
years ago through the eyes of child and are retold to you now with the pen and
hindsight of an older man. The only exception is the story Beat Time which is based on the disappearance of Beat poet Lew
Welch. Decades before I knew who Welch was, I was told that he had made his
from California to New Haven, Connecticut, where was an alcoholic living in a
mission. The notion fascinated me and I filed it away but never forgot
it.
The collected stories
are loosely modeled around Joyce’s novel, Dubliners
(I also borrowed from the novels character and place names. Ivy Day, my
character in “Local Orphan is Hero” is also the name of chapter in Dubliners, etc.) and like Joyce I wanted
to write about my people, the people I knew as a child, the working class in
small town America and I wanted to give a complete view of them as well. As a
result the stories are about the divorced, Gays, black people, the working
poor, the middle class, the lost and the found, the contented and the
discontented.
Conversely many of
the stories in this book are about starting life over again as a result of
suicide (The Hanging Party, Small Town
Tragedy, Beat Time) or from a near death experience (Anna Bell Lee and the Charge of the Light Brigade, A Brief Summer)
and natural occurring death. (The Best
Laid Plans, The Winter Years, Balanced and Serene)
With the exception of
Jesus Loves Shaqunda, in each story
there is a rebirth from the death. (Shaqunda is reported as having died of
pneumonia in The Winter Years)
Sal, the desperate
and depressed divorcee in Things Change,
changes his life in Lunch Hour when
asks the waitress for a date and she accepts. (Which we learn in Closing Time,
the last story in the book) In The
Arranged Time, Thisby is given the option of change and whether she takes
it or, we don’t know. The death of Greta’s husband in A Matter of Time has led her to the diner and into the waiting arms
of the outgoing and loveable Gabe.
Although the book is
based on three sets of time (breakfast, lunch and dinner) and the diner is
opened in the early morning and closed at night, time stands still inside the
Diner. The hour on the big clock on the wall never changes time and much like
my memories of that place, everything remains the same.
http://www.amazon.com/Short-Stories-Small-William-Tuohy/dp/1517270456/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1444164878&sr=1-1&keywords=short+stories+from+a+small+town
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
That's me on the right at the National Archives Record Center in Suitland Maryland where I worked for a while when I first arrived in Washington in 1976. That guy on the left is Paul Crissman, who was a good and true friend and showed me great kindness. He died a few years after we took this photo.
John
William Tuohy is a writer who lives in Washington DC. He holds an MFA in
writing from Lindenwood University. He is the author of numerous non-fiction on
the history of organized crime including the ground break biography of
bootlegger Roger Tuohy "When Capone's Mob Murdered Touhy" and
"Guns and Glamour: A History of Organized Crime in Chicago."
His
non-fiction crime short stories have appeared in The New Criminologist,
American Mafia and other publications. John won the City of Chicago's Celtic
Playfest for his work The Hannigan's of Beverly, and his short story fiction
work, Karma Finds Franny Glass, appeared in AdmitTwo Magazine in October of
2008.
His
play, Cyberdate.Com, was chosen for a public performance at the Actors Chapel
in Manhattan in February of 2007 as part of the groups Reading Series for New
York project. In June of 2008, the play won the Virginia Theater of The First
Amendment Award for best new play.
Contact
John:
MYWRITERSSITE.BLOGSPOT.COM
JWTUOHY95@GMAIL.COM
OTHER BOOKS BY ME;
HERE'S SOME NICE ART FOR YOU TO LOOK AT....ENJOY!
L'Allée des Alyscamps by Vincent van Gogh,
Laszlo Moholy Nagy (Hungarian, 1895-1946)
REFORMING OUR
POLICE BECAUSE THEY HAVE BECOME A LEADING NATIONAL SOCIAL PROBLEM
Panel: NYPD Officer in James
Blake Arrest Used Excessive Force
By Greg Richter
The New York City police officer
who took down retired professional tennis player used excessive force, the
city's Civilian Complaint Review Board has ruled, The New York Times reports.
The board is an independent
agency that investigates allegations of police misconduct, but does not have
the final say in the case. It recommended the harshest punishment: suspension
or dismissal.
Officer James Frascatore was
working plainclothes when he was captured on a security camera tackling the
tennis star as he stood outside the Grand Hyatt Hotel on September 9.
Special: This Is the Fastest Way
to Get a Business Loan Up to $500,000
The officer mistook Blake for a
suspect in a credit card fraud case, but footage of the takedown raised questions
from critics about why the officer felt the need to take Blake by surprise and
thrown him to the ground when he wasn't suspected of a violent crime and was
standing calmly.
Black is biracial, which raised
concerns that his race may have played a role in the takedown. The officer will
face an internal Police Department trial, then Police Commissioner Bill Bratton
will make the final decision on his fate.
The board also said that
Detective Daniel Herzog, who authorized the arrest, abused his authority. For
Herzog, the board recommended "command discipline," for which he
could lose five vacation days.
AND NOW A WORD FROM THE BARD...............
Listen
to many, speak to a few.
Visit
our Shakespeare Blog at the address below
http://shakespeareinamericanenglish.blogspot.com/
October is my my favorite month
October
1
In 1961, Roger Maris of the New York Yankees hit his 61st home run of the season, breaking Babe Ruth’s record of 60 set in 1927.
October
2
In 1967, Thurgood Marshall was sworn in as an associate justice of the United States Supreme Court; he was the first African-American appointed to the nation’s highest court.
October
3
In 1990, West Germany and East Germany ended 45 years of postwar division, declaring the creation of a new unified country.
October
4
In 1957, the Space Age began as the Soviet Union launched Sputnik, the first man-made satellite, into orbit.
October
5
In 1947, in the first televised White House address, President Truman asked Americans to refrain from eating meat on Tuesdays and poultry on Thursdays to help stockpile grain for starving people in Europe.
October
6
In 1981, Egyptian President Anwar Sadat was shot to death by extremists while reviewing a military parade.
October
7
In 1985, Palestinian gunmen hijacked the Italian cruise ship Achille Lauro in the Mediterranean with more than 400 people aboard.
October
8
In 1982, all labor organizations in Poland, including Solidarity, were banned.
October
9
In 1967, Latin American guerrilla leader Che Guevara was executed in Bolivia while attempting to incite revolution.
October
10
In 1973, Vice President Spiro T. Agnew pleaded no contest to one count of federal income tax evasion and resigned his office.
October
11
In 1968, Apollo 7, the first manned Apollo mission, was launched with astronauts Wally Schirra, Donn Fulton Eisele and R. Walter Cunningham aboard.
October
12
In 2000, the Navy destroyer Cole was attacked in an al-Qaeda suicide bombing while in port in Aden, Yemen, killing 17 sailors and injuring dozens more.
October
13
In 1943, Italy declared war on Germany, its one-time Axis partner.
October
14
In 1964, civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. was named winner of the Nobel Peace Prize.
October
15
In 1964, it was announced that Soviet leader Nikita S. Khrushchev had been removed from office. He was succeeded as premier by Alexei N. Kosygin and as Communist Party secretary by Leonid I. Brezhnev.
October
16
In 1964, China detonated its first atomic bomb.
October
17
In 1931, mobster Al Capone was convicted of income tax evasion and sentenced to 11 years in prison. He was released in 1939.
October
18
In 1968, the United States Olympic Committee suspended two black athletes, Tommie Smith and John Carlos, for giving a “black power” salute as a protest during a victory ceremony in Mexico City.
October
19
In 1987, the stock market crashed as the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged 508 points, or 22.6 percent in value – its biggest-ever percentage drop.
October
20
In 1973, in the so-called Saturday Night Massacre, President Nixon abolished the office of special Watergate prosecutor Archibald Cox, accepted the resignation of Attorney General Elliot L. Richardson and fired Deputy Attorney General William B. Ruckelshaus.
October
21
In 1879, Thomas Edison invented a workable electric light at his laboratory in Menlo Park, N.J.
October
22
In 1962, President Kennedy announced an air and naval blockade of Cuba, following the discovery of Soviet missile bases on the island.
October
23
In 1983, a suicide truck-bombing at Beirut International Airport in Lebanon killed 241 United States Marines and sailors; a near-simultaneous attack on French forces killed 58 paratroopers.
October
24
In 1945, the United Nations officially came into existence as its charter took effect.
October
25
In 1971, the United Nations General Assembly voted to admit mainland China and expel Taiwan.
October
26
In 1994, Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin of Israel and Prime Minister Abdel Salam Majali of Jordan signed a peace treaty in a ceremony attended by President Clinton.
October
27
In 1904, the first rapid transit subway, the IRT, opened in New York City.
October
28
In 1886, the Statue of Liberty, a gift from the people of France, was dedicated in New York Harbor by President Cleveland.
October
29
In 1929, Black Tuesday descended upon the New York Stock Exchange. Prices collapsed amid panic selling and thousands of investors were wiped out as America’s Great Depression began.
October
30
In 1974, Muhammad Ali knocked out George Foreman in the eighth round of a 15-round bout in Kinshasa, Zaire, to regain his world heavyweight title.
October
31
In 1984, Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was assassinated near her residence by two Sikh security guards.
"Attention is the most basic
form of love; through it we bless and are blessed." - John
Tarrant
"We love because it's the
only true adventure." - Nikki
Giovanni
"Love is like quicksilver in
the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts
away." - Dorothy Parker
"Love is friendship set on
fire." - Unknown
"Love is an ideal thing,
marriage a real thing." - Goethe
HERE'S PLEASANT POEM FOR YOU TO ENJOY................
Here
by Grace Paley
Here I am in the garden laughing
an old woman with heavy breasts
and a nicely mapped face
how did this happen
well that's who I wanted to be
at last a woman
in the old style sitting
stout thighs apart under
a big skirt grandchild sliding
on off my lap a pleasant
summer perspiration
that's my old man across the yard
he's talking to the meter reader
he's telling him the world's sad story
how electricity is oil or uranium
and so forth I tell my grandson
run over to your grandpa ask him
to sit beside me for a minute I
am suddenly exhausted by my desire
to kiss his sweet explaining lips.
Grace Paley
I LOVE BLACK AND WHITE
PHOTOS FROM FILM
August 1940. “Old house on Race Street in Mauch Chunk, Pennsylvania.” Jack Delano
WHY THE WORLD NEEDS EDITORS.....................
THE ART OF PULP
THE ART OF WAR............
DON'T YOU JUST YOU LOVE POP
ART?
The Beatles by Andy Warhol.
The piercing cry of child poverty in America
Monday September 28, 2015 09:02
PM
Marian Wright Edelman,
writer
Pope Francis speaks out
faithfully and forcefully against poverty and has been called “the pope of the
poor.” But on his first visit to the United States there was demoralizing news
about poverty, especially child poverty, in our nation — the world’s largest
economy.
Despite six years of economic
recovery, children remain the poorest group in America.
Children are poor if they live in
a family of four with an annual income below $24,418 –$2,035 a month, $470 a
week, $67 a day. Extreme poverty is income less than half this.
New Census Bureau data reveal
that nearly one-third of the 46.7 million poor people in the United States in
2014 were children. Of the more than 15.5 million poor children, 70 percent
were children of color who already constitute the majority of our nation’s
youngest children and will be the majority of all our children by 2020.
They continue to be
disproportionately poor: 37 percent of Black children and 32 percent of
Hispanic children are poor compared to 12 percent of white, non-Hispanic
children. This is morally scandalous and economically costly. Every year we let
millions of children remain poor costs our nation more than $500 billion as a
result of lost productivity and extra health and crime costs stemming from
child poverty.
The Black child poverty rate
increased 10 percent between 2013 and 2014 while rates for children of other
races and ethnicities declined slightly. The Black extreme child poverty rate
increased 13 percent with nearly one in five Black children living in extreme
poverty. Although the Hispanic child poverty rate fell slightly, Hispanic
children remain our largest number of poor children.
Nearly one in four children under
5 years old is poor and almost half live in extreme poverty. More than 40
percent of Black children under 5 are poor and nearly 25 percent of young Black
children are extremely poor.
New state data show child poverty
rates in 2014 remained at record high levels across 40 states, with only 10
states showing significant declines between 2013 and 2014.
In 22 states, 40 percent or more
Black children were poor. In 32 states, more than 30 percent of Hispanic
children were poor. And in 24 states, more than 30 percent of American
Indian/Alaska Native children were poor.
Only Hawaii had a Black child
poverty rate below 20 percent while only two states, Kentucky and West
Virginia, had White, non-Hispanic child poverty rates over 20 percent.
The rates are staggering,
especially when we know there are steps Congress could take right now to end
child poverty and save taxpayer money now and in the future. In CDF’s recent
Ending Child Poverty Now report based on an analysis by the nonpartisan Urban
Institute, we proposed nine policy changes which would immediately reduce child
poverty 60 percent and Black child poverty 72 percent and lift the floor of
decency for 97 percent of all poor children by ensuring parents the resources
to support and nurture their children: jobs with livable wages, affordable
high-quality child care, supports for working families like the Earned Income
Tax Credit (EITC) and the Child Tax Credit (CTC), and safety nets for basic
needs like nutrition, housing assistance and child support.
Congress must make permanent
improvements in pro-work tax credits (both the EITC and the CTC), increase the
Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP, or food stamps) benefit, and
expand housing subsidies and quality child care investments for children when
parents work.
To complement gains in these
areas and to reduce child poverty long term, we must ensure all children
comprehensive affordable health care, high-quality early childhood development
and learning opportunities to get ready for school and a level education
playing field to help all children achieve and succeed in life. It is a great
national, economic and military security threat that a majority of all children
in America cannot read or compute at grade level and that nearly three-fourths
of our Black and Latino children cannot.
Data show key safety net programs
lifted millions of people, including children above the Supplemental Poverty
Measure (SPM) poverty line, between 2013 and 2014. These supports all reduced
child poverty: SNAP (4.7 million people), rent subsidies (2.8 million people),
and the Earned Income Tax Credit and the low-income portion of the Child Tax
Credit (roughly 10 million people including more than 5 million children).
There also is strong evidence these measures will provide long-term benefits
for children.
We know how to reduce child poverty
but keep refusing to do it. How can our Congressional leaders even discuss
spending as much as $400 billion to extend tax cuts for corporations and
businesses while denying more than 15.5 million poor children — 70 percent
non-White — the opportunity to improve their odds of succeeding in school and
in life?
We can and must do more right now
as children have only one childhood.
Instead of Shaming the Poor
Yesterday I joined Fox and
Friends for what they billed, in typical Fox News fashion, as a “fair and
balanced debate.” The topic was a Maine mayor’s call to publish the names and
addresses of all recipients of public assistance online as a sort of
“poverty-offender registry.” Mayor Robert MacDonald of Lewistown announced this
ugly proposal last week in an op-ed in the local Twin-City Times, offering the
justification that Mainers “have a right to know how their money is being
spent.”
My conservative counterpart on
the show—Seton Motley, a one-man political operation he calls Less Government
(hey, at least he gets points for being straightforward)—defended “shaming the
people who are sitting on welfare” as a tactic to get them off of assistance,
and to crack down on what he termed “widespread welfare abuse.”
As I pointed out when my turn
came to speak, the real shame is that our nation’s minimum wage is a poverty
wage. In the late 1960s, the minimum wage was enough to keep a family of three
out of poverty. Had it kept pace with inflation since then, it would be nearly
$11 today, instead of the current $7.25 per hour.
And it’s not just workers earning
the minimum wage who are struggling: Working families have seen decades of flat
and declining wages, while those at the top of the income ladder capture an ever-rising
share of the gains from economic growth.
As a result, millions of
Americans are working harder than ever while falling further and further
behind. And many are juggling two and three jobs in an effort to make enough to
live on: 7 million Americans are working multiple jobs. (Remember Maria
Fernandes, the New Jersey woman who died in her car after trying to get a few
hours of sleep in between her four jobs?)
Many low-wage workers need to
turn to public assistance to make ends meet. In fact,researchers at Berkeley
found that the public cost of low wages is more than $152 billion annually, in
the form of Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), the Earned Income
Tax Credit (EITC), Medicaid, and other work and income supports that workers must
rely on when wages are not enough to live on. The researchers also find that
more than half—56 percent—of combined federal and state spending on public
assistance goes to working families.
Contrary to conservatives’ claims
that a bump-up in the minimum wage would “kill jobs,” a large body of research
shows that past minimum wage increases at the federal, state, and local levels
have boosted earnings and cut poverty among working families, without leading
to job loss.
And it’s not just teenagers
earning extra spending money who stand to benefit from raising the minimum
wage. The average age of workers who would get a raise is 35—and more than 1 in
4 have kids. (Then again, Motley went so far as to say that people earning the
minimum wage shouldn’t have children… Oy.)
If Mayor MacDonald, Motley, and
their cheerleaders in the right-wing media really want to shrink spending on
public assistance, then instead of wasting their time shaming people who are
struggling to make ends meet—which, of course, is the sole purpose of Fox
News’s recurring segment “Entitlement Nation”—they’d be wise to embrace raising
the minimum wage. Indeed, my colleague Rachel West has found that raising the
federal minimum wage to $12 an hour, as Senator Patty Murray and Congressman
Bobby Scott have proposed, would save a whopping $53 billion in SNAP in the
coming decade—more savings than the $40 billion in cuts proposed by House
Republicans during the last round of Farm Bill negotiations. In Maine, the
single-year savings in SNAP from a minimum wage hike would top $31 million.
Whether or not Mayor MacDonald’s
widely criticized—and likely illegal—proposal for a public assistance shaming
database gains traction—even in a state that’s been leading the nation when it
comes to policies that punish its citizens for being poor—we should see his and
Fox News’ poor-shaming for what it is: an attempt to divert attention away from
the real causes of poverty, as well as the solutions that would dramatically
reduce it.
For pushing harmful policies and
bullying people who are struggling to provide for their families in an
off-kilter economy, Mayor MacDonald and his friends in the right-wing media are
the ones who should be ashamed.
Rebecca Vallas is the Director of
Policy for the Poverty to Prosperity Program at the Center for American
Progress and the co-host of TalkPoverty Radio.
Last week, when Pope Francis
entered the Capitol building to give a historic addressbefore a joint session
of Congress, the pontiff carried with him a moving plea for the establishment
of a “culture of care.” The Pope’s address included an appeal to dialogue with
“the many thousands of men and women who strive each day to do an honest day’s
work, to bring home their daily bread, to save money and—one step at a time—to
build a better life for their families.” But too many of those working
parents—especially those in low-paying jobs—know just how precarious that
effort to care for their families can be.
Many of us, including the pope,
might very well disagree on just what makes a family, but we can all agree that
the common good of our society is best served when caregivers don’t need to
risk their livelihoods in order to provide care for young people. However,
policies like paid sick leave—which allows workers to take time off to care for
themselves or their families if someone becomes ill or incapacitated—remain out
of reach for too many people.
President Obama recently made
headlines after signing an executive order requiring federal contractors to
grant workers up to seven days of paid sick leave each year. But the fact
remains that out of the 22 wealthiest nations in the world, the United States
is the only one without any form of guaranteed paid sick leave for workers. As
a result, only about 43 percent of workers have reported the ability to take
paid leave to care for a sick family member. Nearly a quarter of American
workers report losing a job or being threatened with job loss for taking time
off to care for a sick child or relative.
While paid family and medical
leave impacts all families, it especially impacts women.Six in every 10 mothers
are the primary, sole, or co-breadwinner for their family. This includes both
single mothers and mothers with an unemployed spouse or partner at home. And
about a third of all children in the United States live in a single-parent
household; nearly half of them are already living below the poverty line. Forty
percent of their parents are working in low-wage jobs—the types of jobs least
likely to offer paid sick leave.
Many working families simply
cannot afford to take the time they need to care for their children when they
get sick. For a family headed by a sole breadwinner who earns the average wage
for workers without paid sick leave, it would take just three days of missed
work to be driven below the federal poverty line. With over one in five
churchgoers estimated to be living in households that earn less than $25,000 a
year, people of faith must come to realize that this kind of instability—and
injustice—is a reality for many of the people in their congregations.
This desire to care for our
children is a human instinct, a family value, and a faith practice. The
scriptures appeal repeatedly to God as a nurturing parent who always comes to
the aid of their children. Most of us are familiar with the imagery of “God the
Father,” and scripture pushes us further. God the Mother speaks through the
prophet Isaiah to promise: “As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort
you.” In the Christian New Testament, Jesus remarks at how often he has “desired
to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings.”
Faith advocates have endorsed
more just, family-friendly workplace policies for years. It’s now time for
people of faith—whether in the pulpits, in the pews, or in politics—to stand
up, speak out, and actively promote paid sick leave as a real family value and
faith practice that impacts every working family. In a real “culture of care,”
when parents inevitably get that call from the school nurse, they can leave
their desk, or register, or assembly line and offer the care their children
need. State and federal elected officials and business leaders—especially those
claiming to be pro-family and pro-faith—should take the steps necessary to make
access to paid leave a reality for all working families.
Carolyn
J. Davis is the Policy Analyst for the Faith and Progressive Policy Initiative
at the Center for American Progress and an ordained minister in The United
Methodist Church. Follow her on Twitter at @carojdavis.
Advocates Push Bail Reform to Stop
‘Penalizing People for Being Poor’
by Jason Salzman
A new free, downloadable book
explains the changes in Colorado law, and it emphasizes that certain practices,
such as using a formula to set bail based on types of crimes, are flat-out
unconstitutional. (Shutterstock)
In the United States, where the
principle of “innocent until proven guilty” is a cultural bedrock, close to
half a million people are behind bars awaiting trial, convicted of nothing.
As part of a growing effort to
reduce pretrial jail time for defendants, a national organization of defense
lawyers teamed up with public defenders and advocates in Colorado to publish a
guide on how to win the release of people as they await trial, especially those
identified as low risk.
Publication of the free,
downloadable manual, The Colorado Bail Book: A Defense Practitioner’s Guide to
Adult Pretrial Release, comes in the wake of a 2013 overhaul of Colorado bail
laws. The statutory updates were based on a detailed assessment of the risk
posed by releasing people arrested and charged with a variety of crimes.
“When people started looking at
the numbers, they started asking, ‘Why are we holding poor people on money
bond, often times on minor offenses?’ It really seemed to be penalizing people
for being poor, because wealthier people were being released,” said Colette
Tvedt, indigent defense training and reform director for the National
Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers (NACDL), which aims to “ensure justice
and due process for persons accused of crime or wrongdoing.”
The Colorado Bail Book explains
the changes in Colorado law, and it emphasizes that certain practices, such as
using a formula to set bail based on types of crimes, are flat-out
unconstitutional, Tvedt told RH Reality Check.
The guide points public and
private defense attorneys to a risk-assessment tool that “identifies which
defendants are likely to be higher risk to public safety (commit new crimes)
and to fail to appear for any court date during the pretrial period.”
Defendants are assessed based on a series of questions and background checks.
The document states that the assessment tool was successfully piloted in
Colorado courts.
“We’re hoping that the judges and
the prosecutors will abide by the new changes in the law and release a lot more
of the low- and moderate-risk defendants who should be out, without
conditions,” said Tvedt.
A call for comment to the
Colorado District Attorneys’ council was not returned.
Of the 735,000 people
incarcerated in local jails in the United States, about 60 percent are being
held pretrial, and are not yet convicted of any crime, according to federal
statistics. There are about 2.3 million people incarcerated in America,
including federal prisoners.
The costs go beyond dollars spent
on keeping defendants in jail. People in pretrial detention often lose their
jobs and housing and face personal traumas, even though they haven’t been
convicted of a crime, Tvedt said.
Excessive pretrial incarceration
“effectively coerces even innocent defendants into pleading guilty in exchange
for a sentence of ‘time served,'” said Tvedt.
The Colorado Bail Book was
published by NACDL as part of a grant from the federal Bureau of Justice
Assistance, in partnership with the Office of the Colorado State Public
Defender and the Colorado Criminal Defense Institute.
“It is our hope that all
defenders, both public and private, use this resource to aggressively and
consistently challenge the pretrial system that punishes the accused before
conviction, forces guilty pleas to obtain release and incarcerates the poor
simply because they cannot afford to post a money bond,” states the Colorado
Bail Book’s introduction, signed by Tvedt, Maureen Cain, policy director of the
Colorado Defense Institute, and Colorado State Public Defender Douglas Wilson.
Colorado’s manual reflects work
done in Kentucky, Tvedt said, adding that NACDL aims to produce similar guides
for New Jersey and Wisconsin, which are both in the midst of reforming bail
statutes based on risk assessments.
Like this story? Your $10
tax-deductible contribution helps support our research, reporting, and
analysis.
To schedule an interview with
Jason Salzman contact director of communications Rachel Perrone at rachel@rhrealitycheck.org.
Anton Chekhov, Ward 6
I
In the hospital yard there
stands a small lodge surrounded by a perfect forest of burdocks, nettles, and
wild hemp. Its roof is rusty, the chimney is tumbling down, the steps at the
front-door are rotting away and overgrown with grass, and there are only traces
left of the stucco. The front of the lodge faces the hospital; at the back it
looks out into the open country, from which it is separated by the grey
hospital fence with nails on it. These nails, with their points upwards, and
the fence, and the lodge itself, have that peculiar, desolate, God-forsaken
look which is only found in our hospital and prison buildings.
If you
are not afraid of being stung by the nettles, come by the narrow footpath that
leads to the lodge, and let us see what is going on inside. Opening the first
door, we walk into the entry. Here along the walls and by the stove every sort
of hospital rubbish lies littered about. Mattresses, old tattered
dressing-gowns, trousers, blue striped shirts, boots and shoes no good for
anything -- all these remnants are piled up in heaps, mixed up and crumpled,
mouldering and giving out a sickly smell.
The
porter, Nikita, an old soldier wearing rusty good-conduct stripes, is always
lying on the litter with a pipe between his teeth. He has a grim, surly,
battered-looking face, overhanging eyebrows which give him the expression of a
sheep-dog of the steppes, and a red nose; he is short and looks thin and
scraggy, but he is of imposing deportment and his fists are vigorous. He
belongs to the class of simple-hearted, practical, and dull-witted people,
prompt in carrying out orders, who like discipline better than anything in the
world, and so are convinced that it is their duty to beat people. He showers
blows on the face, on the chest, on the back, on whatever comes first, and is
convinced that there would be no order in the place if he did not.
Next
you come into a big, spacious room which fills up the whole lodge except for
the entry. Here the walls are painted a dirty blue, the ceiling is as sooty as
in a hut without a chimney -- it is evident that in the winter the stove smokes
and the room is full of fumes. The windows are disfigured by iron gratings on
the inside. The wooden floor is grey and full of splinters. There is a stench
of sour cabbage, of smouldering wicks, of bugs, and of ammonia, and for the
first minute this stench gives you the impression of having walked into a
menagerie.
There
are bedsteads screwed to the floor. Men in blue hospital dressing-gowns, and
wearing nightcaps in the old style, are sitting and lying on them. These are
the lunatics.
There
are five of them in all here. Only one is of the upper class, the rest are all
artisans. The one nearest the door -- a tall, lean workman with shining red
whiskers and tear-stained eyes -- sits with his head propped on his hand,
staring at the same point. Day and night he grieves, shaking his head, sighing
and smiling bitterly. He takes a part in conversation and usually makes no
answer to questions; he eats and drinks mechanically when food is offered him.
From his agonizing, throbbing cough, his thinness, and the flush on his cheeks,
one may judge that he is in the first stage of consumption. Next to him is a
little, alert, very lively old man, with a pointed beard and curly black hair
like a negro's. By day he walks up and down the ward from window to window, or
sits on his bed, cross-legged like a Turk, and, ceaselessly as a bullfinch
whistles, softly sings and titters. He shows his childish gaiety and lively
character at night also when he gets up to say his prayers -- that is, to beat
himself on the chest with his fists, and to scratch with his fingers at the
door. This is the Jew Moiseika, an imbecile, who went crazy twenty years ago
when his hat factory was burnt down.
And of
all the inhabitants of Ward No. 6, he is the only one who is allowed to go out
of the lodge, and even out of the yard into the street. He has enjoyed this
privilege for years, probably because he is an old inhabitant of the hospital
-- a quiet, harmless imbecile, the buffoon of the town, where people are used
to seeing him surrounded by boys and dogs. In his wretched gown, in his absurd
night-cap, and in slippers, sometimes with bare legs and even without trousers,
he walks about the streets, stopping at the gates and little shops, and begging
for a copper. In one place they will give him some kvass, in another some
bread, in another a copper, so that he generally goes back to the ward feeling
rich and well fed. Everything that he brings back Nikita takes from him for his
own benefit. The soldier does this roughly, angrily turning the Jew's pockets
inside out, and calling God to witness that he will not let him go into the
street again, and that breach of the regulations is worse to him than anything
in the world.
Moiseika likes to make himself useful. He gives his companions water, and
covers them up when they are asleep; he promises each of them to bring him back
a kopeck, and to make him a new cap; he feeds with a spoon his neighbour on the
left, who is paralyzed. He acts in this way, not from compassion nor from any
considerations of a humane kind, but through imitation, unconsciously dominated
by Gromov, his neighbour on the right hand.
Ivan
Dmitritch Gromov, a man of thirty-three, who is a gentleman by birth, and has
been a court usher and provincial secretary, suffers from the mania of
persecution. He either lies curled up in bed, or walks from corner to corner as
though for exercise; he very rarely sits down. He is always excited, agitated,
and overwrought by a sort of vague, undefined expectation. The faintest rustle
in the entry or shout in the yard is enough to make him raise his head and
begin listening: whether they are coming for him, whether they are looking for
him. And at such times his face expresses the utmost uneasiness and repulsion.
I like
his broad face with its high cheek-bones, always pale and unhappy, and
reflecting, as though in a mirror, a soul tormented by conflict and
long-continued terror. His grimaces are strange and abnormal, but the delicate
lines traced on his face by profound, genuine suffering show intelligence and
sense, and there is a warm and healthy light in his eyes. I like the man
himself, courteous, anxious to be of use, and extraordinarily gentle to
everyone except Nikita. When anyone drops a button or a spoon, he jumps up from
his bed quickly and picks it up; every day he says good-morning to his
companions, and when he goes to bed he wishes them good-night.
Besides his continually overwrought condition and his grimaces, his madness shows
itself in the following way also. Sometimes in the evenings he wraps himself in
his dressing-gown, and, trembling all over, with his teeth chattering, begins
walking rapidly from corner to corner and between the bedsteads. It seems as
though he is in a violent fever. From the way he suddenly stops and glances at
his companions, it can be seen that he is longing to say something very
important, but, apparently reflecting that they would not listen, or would not
understand him, he shakes his head impatiently and goes on pacing up and down.
But soon the desire to speak gets the upper hand of every consideration, and he
will let himself go and speak fervently and passionately. His talk is
disordered and feverish like delirium, disconnected, and not always intelligible,
but, on the other hand, something extremely fine may be felt in it, both in the
words and the voice. When he talks you recognize in him the lunatic and the
man. It is difficult to reproduce on paper his insane talk. He speaks of the
baseness of mankind, of violence trampling on justice, of the glorious life
which will one day be upon earth, of the window-gratings, which remind him
every minute of the stupidity and cruelty of oppressors. It makes a disorderly,
incoherent potpourri of themes old but not yet out of date.
II
Some twelve or fifteen years
ago an official called Gromov, a highly respectable and prosperous person, was
living in his own house in the principal street of the town. He had two sons,
Sergey and Ivan. When Sergey was a student in his fourth year he was taken ill
with galloping consumption and died, and his death was, as it were, the first
of a whole series of calamities which suddenly showered on the Gromov family.
Within a week of Sergey's funeral the old father was put on trial for fraud and
misappropriation, and he died of typhoid in the prison hospital soon
afterwards. The house, with all their belongings, was sold by auction, and Ivan
Dmitritch and his mother were left entirely without means.
Hitherto in his father's lifetime, Ivan Dmitritch, who was studying in the
University of Petersburg, had received an allowance of sixty or seventy roubles
a month, and had had no conception of poverty; now he had to make an abrupt
change in his life. He had to spend his time from morning to night giving
lessons for next to nothing, to work at copying, and with all that to go
hungry, as all his earnings were sent to keep his mother. Ivan Dmitritch could
not stand such a life; he lost heart and strength, and, giving up the university,
went home.
Here,
through interest, he obtained the post of teacher in the district school, but
could not get on with his colleagues, was not liked by the boys, and soon gave
up the post. His mother died. He was for six months without work, living on
nothing but bread and water; then he became a court usher. He kept this post
until he was dismissed owing to his illness.
He had
never even in his young student days given the impression of being perfectly
healthy. He had always been pale, thin, and given to catching cold; he ate
little and slept badly. A single glass of wine went to his head and made him
hysterical. He always had a craving for society, but, owing to his irritable
temperament and suspiciousness, he never became very intimate with anyone, and
had no friends. He always spoke with contempt of his fellow-townsmen, saying
that their coarse ignorance and sleepy animal existence seemed to him loathsome
and horrible. He spoke in a loud tenor, with heat, and invariably either with
scorn and indignation, or with wonder and enthusiasm, and always with perfect
sincerity. Whatever one talked to him about he always brought it round to the
same subject: that life was dull and stifling in the town; that the townspeople
had no lofty interests, but lived a dingy, meaningless life, diversified by
violence, coarse profligacy, and hypocrisy; that scoundrels were well fed and
clothed, while honest men lived from hand to mouth; that they needed schools, a
progressive local paper, a theatre, public lectures, the co-ordination of the
intellectual elements; that society must see its failings and be horrified. In
his criticisms of people he laid on the colours thick, using only black and
white, and no fine shades; mankind was divided for him into honest men and
scoundrels: there was nothing in between. He always spoke with passion and
enthusiasm of women and of love, but he had never been in love.
In
spite of the severity of his judgments and his nervousness, he was liked, and
behind his back was spoken of affectionately as Vanya. His innate refinement
and readiness to be of service, his good breeding, his moral purity, and his
shabby coat, his frail appearance and family misfortunes, aroused a kind, warm,
sorrowful feeling. Moreover, he was well educated and well read; according to
the townspeople's notions, he knew everything, and was in their eyes something
like a walking encyclopedia.
He had
read a great deal. He would sit at the club, nervously pulling at his beard and
looking through the magazines and books; and from his face one could see that
he was not reading, but devouring the pages without giving himself time to
digest what he read. It must be supposed that reading was one of his morbid
habits, as he fell upon anything that came into his hands with equal avidity,
even last year's newspapers and calendars. At home he always read lying down.
III
One autumn morning Ivan
Dmitritch, turning up the collar of his greatcoat and splashing through the
mud, made his way by side-streets and back lanes to see some artisan, and to
collect some payment that was owing. He was in a gloomy mood, as he always was
in the morning. In one of the side-streets he was met by two convicts in
fetters and four soldiers with rifles in charge of them. Ivan Dmitritch had
very often met convicts before, and they had always excited feelings of
compassion and discomfort in him; but now this meeting made a peculiar, strange
impression on him. It suddenly seemed to him for some reason that he, too,
might be put into fetters and led through the mud to prison like that. After
visiting the artisan, on the way home he met near the post office a police
superintendent of his acquaintance, who greeted him and walked a few paces
along the street with him, and for some reason this seemed to him suspicious.
At home he could not get the convicts or the soldiers with their rifles out of
his head all day, and an unaccountable inward agitation prevented him from
reading or concentrating his mind. In the evening he did not light his lamp, and
at night he could not sleep, but kept thinking that he might be arrested, put
into fetters, and thrown into prison. He did not know of any harm he had done,
and could be certain that he would never be guilty of murder, arson, or theft
in the future either; but was it not easy to commit a crime by accident,
unconsciously, and was not false witness always possible, and, indeed,
miscarriage of justice? It was not without good reason that the agelong
experience of the simple people teaches that beggary and prison are ills none
can be safe from. A judicial mistake is very possible as legal proceedings are
conducted nowadays, and there is nothing to be wondered at in it. People who
have an official, professional relation to other men's sufferings -- for
instance, judges, police officers, doctors -- in course of time, through habit,
grow so callous that they cannot, even if they wish it, take any but a formal
attitude to their clients; in this respect they are not different from the
peasant who slaughters sheep and calves in the back-yard, and does not notice
the blood. With this formal, soulless attitude to human personality the judge
needs but one thing -- time -- in order to deprive an innocent man of all
rights of property, and to condemn him to penal servitude. Only the time spent
on performing certain formalities for which the judge is paid his salary, and
then -- it is all over. Then you may look in vain for justice and protection in
this dirty, wretched little town a hundred and fifty miles from a railway station!
And, indeed, is it not absurd even to think of justice when every kind of
violence is accepted by society as a rational and consistent necessity, and
every act of mercy -- for instance, a verdict of acquittal -- calls forth a
perfect outburst of dissatisfied and revengeful feeling?
In the
morning Ivan Dmitritch got up from his bed in a state of horror, with cold
perspiration on his forehead, completely convinced that he might be arrested
any minute. Since his gloomy thoughts of yesterday had haunted him so long, he
thought, it must be that there was some truth in them. They could not, indeed,
have come into his mind without any grounds whatever.
A
policeman walking slowly passed by the windows: that was not for nothing. Here
were two men standing still and silent near the house. Why were they silent?
And agonizing days and nights followed for Ivan Dmitritch. Everyone who passed
by the windows or came into the yard seemed to him a spy or a detective. At
midday the chief of the police usually drove down the street with a pair of
horses; he was going from his estate near the town to the police department;
but Ivan Dmitritch fancied every time that he was driving especially quickly,
and that he had a peculiar expression: it was evident that he was in haste to
announce that there was a very important criminal in the town. Ivan Dmitritch
started at every ring at the bell and knock at the gate, and was agitated
whenever he came upon anyone new at his landlady's; when he met police officers
and gendarmes he smiled and began whistling so as to seem unconcerned. He could
not sleep for whole nights in succession expecting to be arrested, but he
snored loudly and sighed as though in deep sleep, that his landlady might think
he was asleep; for if he could not sleep it meant that he was tormented by the
stings of conscience -- what a piece of evidence! Facts and common sense
persuaded him that all these terrors were nonsense and morbidity, that if one
looked at the matter more broadly there was nothing really terrible in arrest
and imprisonment -- so long as the conscience is at ease; but the more sensibly
and logically he reasoned, the more acute and agonizing his mental distress
became. It might be compared with the story of a hermit who tried to cut a
dwelling-place for himself in a virgin forest; the more zealously he worked
with his axe, the thicker the forest grew. In the end Ivan Dmitritch, seeing it
was useless, gave up reasoning altogether, and abandoned himself entirely to
despair and terror.
He began
to avoid people and to seek solitude. His official work had been distasteful to
him before: now it became unbearable to him. He was afraid they would somehow
get him into trouble, would put a bribe in his pocket unnoticed and then
denounce him, or that he would accidentally make a mistake in official papers
that would appear to be fraudulent, or would lose other people's money. It is
strange that his imagination had never at other times been so agile and
inventive as now, when every day he thought of thousands of different reasons
for being seriously anxious over his freedom and honour; but, on the other
hand, his interest in the outer world, in books in particular, grew sensibly
fainter, and his memory began to fail him.
In the
spring when the snow melted there were found in the ravine near the cemetery
two half-decomposed corpses -- the bodies of an old woman and a boy bearing the
traces of death by violence. Nothing was talked of but these bodies and their
unknown murderers. That people might not think he had been guilty of the crime,
Ivan Dmitritch walked about the streets, smiling, and when he met acquaintances
he turned pale, flushed, and began declaring that there was no greater crime
than the murder of the weak and defenceless. But this duplicity soon exhausted
him, and after some reflection he decided that in his position the best thing
to do was to hide in his landlady's cellar. He sat in the cellar all day and
then all night, then another day, was fearfully cold, and waiting till dusk, stole
secretly like a thief back to his room. He stood in the middle of the room till
daybreak, listening without stirring. Very early in the morning, before
sunrise, some workmen came into the house. Ivan Dmitritch knew perfectly well
that they had come to mend the stove in the kitchen, but terror told him that
they were police officers disguised as workmen. He slipped stealthily out of
the flat, and, overcome by terror, ran along the street without his cap and
coat. Dogs raced after him barking, a peasant shouted somewhere behind him, the
wind whistled in his ears, and it seemed to Ivan Dmitritch that the force and
violence of the whole world was massed together behind his back and was chasing
after him.
He was
stopped and brought home, and his landlady sent for a doctor. Doctor Andrey
Yefimitch, of whom we shall have more to say hereafter, prescribed cold
compresses on his head and laurel drops, shook his head, and went away, telling
the landlady he should not come again, as one should not interfere with people
who are going out of their minds. As he had not the means to live at home and
be nursed, Ivan Dmitritch was soon sent to the hospital, and was there put into
the ward for venereal patients. He could not sleep at night, was full of whims
and fancies, and disturbed the patients, and was soon afterwards, by Andrey
Yefimitch's orders, transferred to Ward No. 6.
Within
a year Ivan Dmitritch was completely forgotten in the town, and his books,
heaped up by his landlady in a sledge in the shed, were pulled to pieces by
boys.
IV
Ivan Dmitritch's neighbour on
the left hand is, as I have said already, the Jew Moiseika; his neighbour on
the right hand is a peasant so rolling in fat that he is almost spherical, with
a blankly stupid face, utterly devoid of thought. This is a motionless,
gluttonous, unclean animal who has long ago lost all powers of thought or
feeling. An acrid, stifling stench always comes from him.
Nikita, who has to clean up after him, beats him terribly with all his might,
not sparing his fists; and what is dreadful is not his being beaten -- that one
can get used to -- but the fact that this stupefied creature does not respond
to the blows with a sound or a movement, nor by a look in the eyes, but only
sways a little like a heavy barrel.
The
fifth and last inhabitant of Ward No. 6 is a man of the artisan class who had
once been a sorter in the post office, a thinnish, fair little man with a
good-natured but rather sly face. To judge from the clear, cheerful look in his
calm and intelligent eyes, he has some pleasant idea in his mind, and has some
very important and agreeable secret. He has under his pillow and under his
mattress something that he never shows anyone, not from fear of its being taken
from him and stolen, but from modesty. Sometimes he goes to the window, and
turning his back to his companions, puts something on his breast, and bending
his head, looks at it; if you go up to him at such a moment, he is overcome
with confusion and snatches something off his breast. But it is not difficult
to guess his secret.
"Congratulate me," he often says to Ivan Dmitritch; "I have been
presented with the Stanislav order of the second degree with the star. The
second degree with the star is only given to foreigners, but for some reason
they want to make an exception for me," he says with a smile, shrugging
his shoulders in perplexity. "That I must confess I did not expect."
"I don't understand anything about that," Ivan Dmitritch replies
morosely.
"But do you know what I shall attain to sooner or later?" the former
sorter persists, screwing up his eyes slyly. "I shall certainly get the
Swedish 'Polar Star.' That's an order it is worth working for, a white cross
with a black ribbon. It's very beautiful."
Probably
in no other place is life so monotonous as in this ward. In the morning the
patients, except the paralytic and the fat peasant, wash in the entry at a big
tab and wipe themselves with the skirts of their dressing-gowns; after that
they drink tea out of tin mugs which Nikita brings them out of the main
building. Everyone is allowed one mugful. At midday they have soup made out of
sour cabbage and boiled grain, in the evening their supper consists of grain
left from dinner. In the intervals they lie down, sleep, look out of window,
and walk from one corner to the other. And so every day. Even the former sorter
always talks of the same orders.
Fresh
faces are rarely seen in Ward No. 6. The doctor has not taken in any new mental
cases for a long time, and the people who are fond of visiting lunatic asylums
are few in this world. Once every two months Semyon Lazaritch, the barber,
appears in the ward. How he cuts the patients' hair, and how Nikita helps him
to do it, and what a trepidation the lunatics are always thrown into by the
arrival of the drunken, smiling barber, we will not describe.
No one
even looks into the ward except the barber. The patients are condemned to see
day after day no one but Nikita.
A
rather strange rumour has, however, been circulating in the hospital of late.
It is
rumoured that the doctor has begun to visit Ward No. 6.
V
A strange rumour!
Dr.
Andrey Yefimitch Ragin is a strange man in his way. They say that when he was
young he was very religious, and prepared himself for a clerical career, and
that when he had finished his studies at the high school in 1863 he intended to
enter a theological academy, but that his father, a surgeon and doctor of
medicine, jeered at him and declared point-blank that he would disown him if he
became a priest. How far this is true I don't know, but Andrey Yefimitch
himself has more than once confessed that he has never had a natural bent for
medicine or science in general.
However
that may have been, when he finished his studies in the medical faculty he did
not enter the priesthood. He showed no special devoutness, and was no more like
a priest at the beginning of his medical career than he is now.
His
exterior is heavy -- coarse like a peasant's, his face, his beard, his flat
hair, and his coarse, clumsy figure, suggest an overfed, intemperate, and harsh
innkeeper on the highroad. His face is surly-looking and covered with blue
veins, his eyes are little and his nose is red. With his height and broad
shoulders he has huge hands and feet; one would think that a blow from his fist
would knock the life out of anyone, but his step is soft, and his walk is
cautious and insinuating; when he meets anyone in a narrow passage he is always
the first to stop and make way, and to say, not in a bass, as one would expect,
but in a high, soft tenor: "I beg your pardon!" He has a little
swelling on his neck which prevents him from wearing stiff starched collars,
and so he always goes about in soft linen or cotton shirts. Altogether he does
not dress like a doctor. He wears the same suit for ten years, and the new
clothes, which he usually buys at a Jewish shop, look as shabby and crumpled on
him as his old ones; he sees patients and dines and pays visits all in the same
coat; but this is not due to niggardliness, but to complete carelessness about
his appearance.
When
Andrey Yefimitch came to the town to take up his duties the "institution
founded to the glory of God" was in a terrible condition. One could hardly
breathe for the stench in the wards, in the passages, and in the courtyards of
the hospital. The hospital servants, the nurses, and their children slept in
the wards together with the patients. They complained that there was no living
for beetles, bugs, and mice. The surgical wards were never free from
erysipelas. There were only two scalpels and not one thermometer in the whole
hospital; potatoes were kept in the baths. The superintendent, the housekeeper,
and the medical assistant robbed the patients, and of the old doctor, Andrey
Yefimitch's predecessor, people declared that he secretly sold the hospital
alcohol, and that he kept a regular harem consisting of nurses and female
patients. These disorderly proceedings were perfectly well known in the town,
and were even exaggerated, but people took them calmly; some justified them on
the ground that there were only peasants and working men in the hospital, who
could not be dissatisfied, since they were much worse off at home than in the
hospital -- they couldn't be fed on woodcocks! Others said in excuse that the
town alone, without help from the Zemstvo, was not equal to maintaining a good
hospital; thank God for having one at all, even a poor one. And the newly
formed Zemstvo did not open infirmaries either in the town or the
neighbourhood, relying on the fact that the town already had its hospital.
After
looking over the hospital Andrey Yefimitch came to the conclusion that it was
an immoral institution and extremely prejudicial to the health of the
townspeople. In his opinion the most sensible thing that could be done was to
let out the patients and close the hospital. But he reflected that his will
alone was not enough to do this, and that it would be useless; if physical and
moral impurity were driven out of one place, they would only move to another;
one must wait for it to wither away of itself Besides, if people open a
hospital and put up with having it, it must be because they need it;
superstition and all the nastiness and abominations of daily life were necessary,
since in process of time they worked out to something sensible, just as manure
turns into black earth. There was nothing on earth so good that it had not
something nasty about its first origin.
When
Andrey Yefimitch undertook his duties he was apparently not greatly concerned
about the irregularities at the hospital. He only asked the attendants and
nurses not to sleep in the wards, and had two cupboards of instruments put up;
the superintendent, the housekeeper, the medical assistant, and the erysipelas
remained unchanged.
Andrey
Yefimitch loved intelligence and honesty intensely, but he had no strength of
will nor belief in his right to organize an intelligent and honest life about
him. He was absolutely unable to give orders, to forbid things, and to insist.
It seemed as though he had taken a vow never to raise his voice and never to
make use of the imperative. It was difficult for him to say. "Fetch"
or "Bring"; when he wanted his meals he would cough hesitatingly and
say to the cook, "How about tea?. . ." or "How about dinner? . .
." To dismiss the superintendent or to tell him to leave off stealing, or
to abolish the unnecessary parasitic post altogether, was absolutely beyond his
powers. When Andrey Yefimitch was deceived or flattered, or accounts he knew to
be cooked were brought him to sign, he would turn as red as a crab and feel
guilty, but yet he would sign the accounts. When the patients complained to him
of being hungry or of the roughness of the nurses, he would be confused and
mutter guiltily: "Very well, very well, I will go into it later. . . .
Most likely there is some misunderstanding. . ."
At
first Andrey Yefimitch worked very zealously. He saw patients every day from
morning till dinner-time, performed operations, and even attended confinements.
The ladies said of him that he was attentive and clever at diagnosing diseases,
especially those of women and children. But in process of time the work
unmistakably wearied him by its monotony and obvious uselessness. To-day one
sees thirty patients, and to-morrow they have increased to thirty-five, the
next day forty, and so on from day to day, from year to year, while the
mortality in the town did not decrease and the patients did not leave off
coming. To be any real help to forty patients between morning and dinner was
not physically possible, so it could but lead to deception. If twelve thousand
patients were seen in a year it meant, if one looked at it simply, that twelve
thousand men were deceived. To put those who were seriously ill into wards, and
to treat them according to the principles of science, was impossible, too,
because though there were principles there was no science; if he were to put
aside philosophy and pedantically follow the rules as other doctors did, the
things above all necessary were cleanliness and ventilation instead of dirt,
wholesome nourishment instead of broth made of stinking, sour cabbage, and good
assistants instead of thieves; and, indeed, why hinder people dying if death is
the normal and legitimate end of everyone? What is gained if some shop-keeper
or clerk lives an extra five or ten years? If the aim of medicine is by drugs
to alleviate suffering, the question forces itself on one: why alleviate it? In
the first place, they say that suffering leads man to perfection; and in the
second, if mankind really learns to alleviate its sufferings with pills and
drops, it will completely abandon religion and philosophy, in which it has
hitherto found not merely protection from all sorts of trouble, but even
happiness. Pushkin suffered terrible agonies before his death, poor Heine lay
paralyzed for several years; why, then, should not some Andrey Yefimitch or
Matryona Savishna be ill, since their lives had nothing of importance in them,
and would have been entirely empty and like the life of an amoeba except for
suffering?
Oppressed by such reflections, Andrey Yefimitch relaxed his efforts and gave up
visiting the hospital every day.
VI
His life was passed like this.
As a rule he got up at eight o'clock in the morning, dressed, and drank his
tea. Then he sat down in his study to read, or went to the hospital. At the
hospital the out-patients were sitting in the dark, narrow little corridor
waiting to be seen by the doctor. The nurses and the attendants, tramping with
their boots over the brick floors, ran by them; gaunt-looking patients in
dressing-gowns passed; dead bodies and vessels full of filth were carried by;
the children were crying, and there was a cold draught. Andrey Yefimitch knew
that such surroundings were torture to feverish, consumptive, and
impressionable patients; but what could be done? In the consulting-room he was
met by his assistant, Sergey Sergeyitch -- a fat little man with a plump,
well-washed shaven face, with soft, smooth manners, wearing a new loosely cut
suit, and looking more like a senator than a medical assistant. He had an
immense practice in the town, wore a white tie, and considered himself more
proficient than the doctor, who had no practice. In the corner of the
consulting-room there stood a large ikon in a shrine with a heavy lamp in front
of it, and near it a candle-stand with a white cover on it. On the walls hung
portraits of bishops, a view of the Svyatogorsky Monastery, and wreaths of
dried cornflowers. Sergey Sergeyitch was religious, and liked solemnity and
decorum. The ikon had been put up at his expense; at his instructions some one
of the patients read the hymns of praise in the consulting-room on Sundays, and
after the reading Sergey Sergeyitch himself went through the wards with a
censer and burned incense.
There
were a great many patients, but the time was short, and so the work was
confined to the asking of a few brief questions and the administration of some
drugs, such as castor-oil or volatile ointment. Andrey Yefimitch would sit with
his cheek resting in his hand, lost in thought and asking questions
mechanically. Sergey Sergeyitch sat down too, rubbing his hands, and from time
to time putting in his word.
"We suffer pain and poverty," he would say, "because we do not
pray to the merciful God as we should. Yes!"
Andrey
Yefimitch never performed any operation when he was seeing patients; he had
long ago given up doing so, and the sight of blood upset him. When he had to
open a child's mouth in order to look at its throat, and the child cried and
tried to defend itself with its little hands, the noise in his ears made his
head go round and brought tears to his eyes. He would make haste to prescribe a
drug, and motion to the woman to take the child away.
He was
soon wearied by the timidity of the patients and their incoherence, by the
proximity of the pious Sergey Sergeyitch, by the portraits on the walls, and by
his own questions which he had asked over and over again for twenty years. And
he would go away after seeing five or six patients. The rest would be seen by
his assistant in his absence.
With
the agreeable thought that, thank God, he had no private practice now, and that
no one would interrupt him, Andrey Yefimitch sat down to the table immediately
on reaching home and took up a book. He read a great deal and always with
enjoyment. Half his salary went on buying books, and of the six rooms that made
up his abode three were heaped up with books and old magazines. He liked best
of all works on history and philosophy; the only medical publication to which
he subscribed was The Doctor, of which he always read the last pages first. He
would always go on reading for several hours without a break and without being
weary. He did not read as rapidly and impulsively as Ivan Dmitritch had done in
the past, but slowly and with concentration, often pausing over a passage which
he liked or did not find intelligible. Near the books there always stood a
decanter of vodka, and a salted cucumber or a pickled apple lay beside it, not
on a plate, but on the baize table-cloth. Every half-hour he would pour himself
out a glass of vodka and drink it without taking his eyes off the book. Then
without looking at it he would feel for the cucumber and bite off a bit.
At
three o'clock he would go cautiously to the kitchen door; cough, and say,
"Daryushka, what about dinner? . ."
After
his dinner -- a rather poor and untidily served one -- Andrey Yefimitch would
walk up and down his rooms with his arms folded, thinking. The clock would
strike four, then five, and still he would be walking up and down thinking.
Occasionally the kitchen door would creak, and the red and sleepy face of
Daryushka would appear.
"Andrey Yefimitch, isn't it time for you to have your beer?" she
would ask anxiously.
"No, it's not time yet . . ." he would answer. "I'll wait a
little. . . . I'll wait a little. . ."
Towards the evening the postmaster, Mihail Averyanitch, the only man in town whose
society did not bore Andrey Yefimitch, would come in. Mihail Averyanitch had
once been a very rich landowner, and had served in the calvary, but had come to
ruin, and was forced by poverty to take a job in the post office late in life.
He had a hale and hearty appearance, luxuriant grey whiskers, the manners of a
well-bred man, and a loud, pleasant voice. He was good-natured and emotional,
but hot-tempered. When anyone in the post office made a protest, expressed
disagreement, or even began to argue, Mihail Averyanitch would turn crimson,
shake all over, and shout in a voice of thunder, "Hold your tongue!"
so that the post office had long enjoyed the reputation of an institution which
it was terrible to visit. Mihail Averyanitch liked and respected Andrey
Yefimitch for his culture and the loftiness of his soul; he treated the other
inhabitants of the town superciliously, as though they were his subordinates.
"Here I am," he would say, going in to Andrey Yefimitch. "Good
evening, my dear fellow! I'll be bound, you are getting sick of me, aren't
you?"
"On the contrary, I am delighted," said the doctor. "I am always
glad to see you."
The
friends would sit on the sofa in the study and for some time would smoke in
silence.
"Daryushka, what about the beer?" Andrey Yefimitch would say.
They
would drink their first bottle still in silence, the doctor brooding and Mihail
Averyanitch with a gay and animated face, like a man who has something very
interesting to tell. The doctor was always the one to begin the conversation.
"What a pity," he would say quietly and slowly, not looking his
friend in the face (he never looked anyone in the face) -- "what a great
pity it is that there are no people in our town who are capable of carrying on
intelligent and interesting conversation, or care to do so. It is an immense
privation for us. Even the educated class do not rise above vulgarity; the
level of their development, I assure you, is not a bit higher than that of the
lower orders."
"Perfectly
true. I agree."
"You know, of course," the doctor went on quietly and deliberately,
"that everything in this world is insignificant and uninteresting except
the higher spiritual manifestations of the human mind. Intellect draws a sharp
line between the animals and man, suggests the divinity of the latter, and to
some extent even takes the place of the immortality which does not exist.
Consequently the intellect is the only possible source of enjoyment. We see and
hear of no trace of intellect about us, so we are deprived of enjoyment. We
have books, it is true, but that is not at all the same as living talk and
converse. If you will allow me to make a not quite apt comparison: books are
the printed score, while talk is the singing."
"Perfectly true."
A
silence would follow. Daryushka would come out of the kitchen and with an
expression of blank dejection would stand in the doorway to listen, with her
face propped on her fist.
"Eh!" Mihail Averyanitch would sigh. "To expect intelligence of
this generation!"
And he
would describe how wholesome, entertaining, and interesting life had been in
the past. How intelligent the educated class in Russia used to be, and what
lofty ideas it had of honour and friendship; how they used to lend money
without an IOU, and it was thought a disgrace not to give a helping hand to a
comrade in need; and what campaigns, what adventures, what skirmishes, what
comrades, what women! And the Caucasus, what a marvellous country! The wife of
a battalion commander, a queer woman, used to put on an officer's uniform and
drive off into the mountains in the evening, alone, without a guide. It was
said that she had a love affair with some princeling in the native village.
"Queen of Heaven, Holy Mother..." Daryushka would sigh.
"And how we drank! And how we ate! And what desperate
liberals we were!"
Andrey
Yefimitch would listen without hearing; he was musing as he sipped his beer.
"I often dream of intellectual people and conversation with them," he
said suddenly, interrupting Mihail Averyanitch. "My father gave me an
excellent education, but under the influence of the ideas of the sixties made
me become a doctor. I believe if I had not obeyed him then, by now I should have
been in the very centre of the intellectual movement. Most likely I should have
become a member of some university. Of course, intellect, too, is transient and
not eternal, but you know why I cherish a partiality for it. Life is a
vexatious trap; when a thinking man reaches maturity and attains to full
consciousness he cannot help feeling that he is in a trap from which there is
no escape. Indeed, he is summoned without his choice by fortuitous
circumstances from non-existence into life . . . what for? He tries to find out
the meaning and object of his existence; he is told nothing, or he is told
absurdities; he knocks and it is not opened to him; death comes to him -- also
without his choice. And so, just as in prison men held together by common
misfortune feel more at ease when they are together, so one does not notice the
trap in life when people with a bent for analysis and generalization meet
together and pass their time in the interchange of proud and free ideas. In
that sense the intellect is the source of an enjoyment nothing can
replace."
"Perfectly true."
Not
looking his friend in the face, Andrey Yefimitch would go on, quietly and with
pauses, talking about intellectual people and conversation with them, and
Mihail Averyanitch would listen attentively and agree: "Perfectly
true."
"And you do not believe in the immortality of the soul?" he would ask
suddenly.
"No, honoured Mihail Averyanitch; I do not believe it, and have no grounds
for believing it."
"I must own I doubt it too. And yet I have a feeling as though I should
never die. Oh, I think to myself: 'Old fogey, it is time you were dead!' But
there is a little voice in my soul says: 'Don't believe it; you won't die.'
"
Soon
after nine o'clock Mihail Averyanitch would go away. As he put on his fur coat
in the entry he would say with a sigh:
"What a wilderness fate has carried us to, though, really! What's most
vexatious of all is to have to die here. Ech! . ."
VII
After seeing his friend out
Andrey Yefimitch would sit down at the table and begin reading again. The
stillness of the evening, and afterwards of the night, was not broken by a
single sound, and it seemed as though time were standing still and brooding
with the doctor over the book, and as though there were nothing in existence
but the books and the lamp with the green shade. The doctor's coarse
peasant-like face was gradually lighted up by a smile of delight and enthusiasm
over the progress of the human intellect. Oh, why is not man immortal? he
thought. What is the good of the brain centres and convolutions, what is the
good of sight, speech, self-consciousness, genius, if it is all destined to
depart into the soil, and in the end to grow cold together with the earth's
crust, and then for millions of years to fly with the earth round the sun with
no meaning and no object? To do that there was no need at all to draw man with
his lofty, almost godlike intellect out of non-existence, and then, as though
in mockery, to turn him into clay. The transmutation of substances! But what
cowardice to comfort oneself with that cheap substitute for immortality! The
unconscious processes that take place in nature are lower even than the
stupidity of man, since in stupidity there is, anyway, consciousness and will,
while in those processes there is absolutely nothing. Only the coward who has
more fear of death than dignity can comfort himself with the fact that his body
will in time live again in the grass, in the stones, in the toad. To find one's
immortality in the transmutation of substances is as strange as to prophesy a
brilliant future for the case after a precious violin has been broken and
become useless.
When
the clock struck, Andrey Yefimitch would sink back into his chair and close his
eyes to think a little. And under the influence of the fine ideas of which he
had been reading he would, unawares, recall his past and his present. The past
was hateful -- better not to think of it. And it was the same in the present as
in the past. He knew that at the very time when his thoughts were floating
together with the cooling earth round the sun, in the main building beside his
abode people were suffering in sickness and physical impurity: someone perhaps
could not sleep and was making war upon the insects, someone was being infected
by erysipelas, or moaning over too tight a bandage; perhaps the patients were
playing cards with the nurses and drinking vodka. According to the yearly
return, twelve thousand people had been deceived; the whole hospital rested as
it had done twenty years ago on thieving, filth, scandals, gossip, on gross
quackery, and, as before, it was an immoral institution extremely injurious to
the health of the inhabitants. He knew that Nikita knocked the patients about
behind the barred windows of Ward No. 6, and that Moiseika went about the town
every day begging alms.
On the
other hand, he knew very well that a magical change had taken place in medicine
during the last twenty-five years. When he was studying at the university he
had fancied that medicine would soon be overtaken by the fate of alchemy and
metaphysics; but now when he was reading at night the science of medicine
touched him and excited his wonder, and even enthusiasm. What unexpected
brilliance, what a revolution! Thanks to the antiseptic system operations were
performed such as the great Pirogov had considered impossible even in spe.
Ordinary Zemstvo doctors were venturing to perform the resection of the
kneecap; of abdominal operations only one per cent. was fatal; while stone was
considered such a trifle that they did not even write about it. A radical cure
for syphilis had been discovered. And the theory of heredity, hypnotism, the
discoveries of Pasteur and of Koch, hygiene based on statistics, and the work
of Zemstvo doctors!
Psychiatry with its modern classification of mental diseases, methods of
diagnosis, and treatment, was a perfect Elborus in comparison with what had
been in the past. They no longer poured cold water on the heads of lunatics nor
put strait-waistcoats upon them; they treated them with humanity, and even, so
it was stated in the papers, got up balls and entertainments for them. Andrey
Yefimitch knew that with modern tastes and views such an abomination as Ward
No. 6 was possible only a hundred and fifty miles from a railway in a little
town where the mayor and all the town council were half-illiterate tradesmen
who looked upon the doctor as an oracle who must be believed without any
criticism even if he had poured molten lead into their mouths; in any other
place the public and the newspapers would long ago have torn this little
Bastille to pieces.
"But, after all, what of it?" Andrey Yefimitch would ask himself,
opening his eyes. "There is the antiseptic system, there is Koch, there is
Pasteur, but the essential reality is not altered a bit; ill-health and
mortality are still the same. They get up balls and entertainments for the mad,
but still they don't let them go free; so it's all nonsense and vanity, and
there is no difference in reality between the best Vienna clinic and my
hospital." But depression and a feeling akin to envy prevented him from
feeling indifferent; it must have been owing to exhaustion. His heavy head sank
on to the book, he put his hands under his face to make it softer, and thought:
"I serve in a pernicious institution and receive a salary from people whom
I am deceiving. I am not honest, but then, I of myself am nothing, I am only
part of an inevitable social evil: all local officials are pernicious and
receive their salary for doing nothing. . . . And so for my dishonesty it is
not I who am to blame, but the times.... If I had been born two hundred years
later I should have been different. . ."
When
it struck three he would put out his lamp and go into his bedroom; he was not
sleepy.
VIII
Two years before, the Zemstvo
in a liberal mood had decided to allow three hundred roubles a year to pay for
additional medical service in the town till the Zemstvo hospital should be
opened, and the district doctor, Yevgeny Fyodoritch Hobotov, was invited to the
town to assist Andrey Yefimitch. He was a very young man -- not yet thirty --
tall and dark, with broad cheek-bones and little eyes; his forefathers had
probably come from one of the many alien races of Russia. He arrived in the
town without a farthing, with a small portmanteau, and a plain young woman whom
he called his cook. This woman had a baby at the breast. Yevgeny Fyodoritch
used to go about in a cap with a peak, and in high boots, and in the winter
wore a sheepskin. He made great friends with Sergey Sergeyitch, the medical
assistant, and with the treasurer, but held aloof from the other officials, and
for some reason called them aristocrats. He had only one book in his lodgings,
"The Latest Prescriptions of the Vienna Clinic for 1881." When he
went to a patient he always took this book with him. He played billiards in the
evening at the club: he did not like cards. He was very fond of using in
conversation such expressions as "endless bobbery," "canting
soft soap," "shut up with your finicking. . ."
He
visited the hospital twice a week, made the round of the wards, and saw
out-patients. The complete absence of antiseptic treatment and the cupping
roused his indignation, but he did not introduce any new system, being afraid
of offending Andrey Yefimitch. He regarded his colleague as a sly old rascal,
suspected him of being a man of large means, and secretly envied him. He would
have been very glad to have his post.
IX
On a spring evening towards the
end of March, when there was no snow left on the ground and the starlings were
singing in the hospital garden, the doctor went out to see his friend the
postmaster as far as the gate. At that very moment the Jew Moiseika, returning
with his booty, came into the yard. He had no cap on, and his bare feet were
thrust into goloshes; in his hand he had a little bag of coppers.
"Give me a kopeck!" he said to the doctor, smiling, and shivering
with cold. Andrey Yefimitch, who could never refuse anyone anything, gave him a
ten-kopeck piece.
"How bad that is!" he thought, looking at the Jew's bare feet with
their thin red ankles. "Why, it's wet."
And
stirred by a feeling akin both to pity and disgust, he went into the lodge
behind the Jew, looking now at his bald head, now at his ankles. As the doctor
went in, Nikita jumped up from his heap of litter and stood at attention.
"Good-day, Nikita," Andrey Yefimitch said mildly. "That Jew
should be provided with boots or something, he will catch cold."
"Certainly, your honour. I'll inform the superintendent."
"Please do; ask him in my name. Tell him that I asked."
The
door into the ward was open. Ivan Dmitritch, lying propped on his elbow on the
bed, listened in alarm to the unfamiliar voice, and suddenly recognized the
doctor. He trembled all over with anger, jumped up, and with a red and wrathful
face, with his eyes starting out of his head, ran out into the middle of the
road.
"The doctor has come!" he shouted, and broke into a laugh. "At
last! Gentlemen, I congratulate you. The doctor is honouring us with a visit!
Cursed reptile!" he shrieked, and stamped in a frenzy such as had never
been seen in the ward before. "Kill the reptile! No, killing's too good.
Drown him in the midden-pit!"
Andrey
Yefimitch, hearing this, looked into the ward from the entry and asked gently:
"What for?"
"What for?" shouted Ivan Dmitritch, going up to him with a menacing
air and convulsively wrapping himself in his dressing-gown. "What for?
Thief!" he said with a look of repulsion, moving his lips as though he
would spit at him. "Quack! hangman!"
"Calm yourself," said Andrey Yefimitch, smiling guiltily. "I
assure you I have never stolen anything; and as to the rest, most likely you
greatly exaggerate. I see you are angry with me. Calm yourself, I beg, if you
can, and tell me coolly what are you angry for?"
"What are you keeping me here for?"
"Because you are ill."
"Yes, I am ill. But you know dozens, hundreds of madmen are walking about
in freedom because your ignorance is incapable of distinguishing them from the
sane. Why am I and these poor wretches to be shut up here like scapegoats for
all the rest? You, your assistant, the superintendent, and all your hospital
rabble, are immeasurably inferior to every one of us morally; why then are we
shut up and you not? Where's the logic of it?"
"Morality and logic don't come in, it all depends on chance. If anyone is
shut up he has to stay, and if anyone is not shut up he can walk about, that's
all. There is neither morality nor logic in my being a doctor and your being a
mental patient, there is nothing but idle chance."
"That twaddle I don't understand. . ." Ivan Dmitritch brought out in
a hollow voice, and he sat down on his bed.
Moiseika, whom Nikita did not venture to search in the presence of the doctor,
laid out on his bed pieces of bread, bits of paper, and little bones, and,
still shivering with cold, began rapidly in a singsong voice saying something
in Yiddish. He most likely imagined that he had opened a shop.
"Let me out," said Ivan Dmitritch, and his voice quivered.
"I cannot."
"But why, why?"
"Because it is not in my power. Think, what use will it be to you if I do
let you out? Go. The townspeople or the police will detain you or bring you
back."
"Yes, yes, that's true," said Ivan Dmitritch, and he rubbed his
forehead. "It's awful! But what am I to do, what?"
Andrey
Yefimitch liked Ivan Dmitritch's voice and his intelligent young face with its
grimaces. He longed to be kind to the young man and soothe him; he sat down on
the bed beside him, thought, and said:
"You ask me what to do. The very best thing in your position would be to
run away. But, unhappily, that is useless. You would be taken up. When society
protects itself from the criminal, mentally deranged, or otherwise inconvenient
people, it is invincible. There is only one thing left for you: to resign
yourself to the thought that your presence here is inevitable."
"It is no use to anyone."
"So long as prisons and madhouses exist someone must be shut up in them.
If not you, I. If not I, some third person. Wait till in the distant future
prisons and madhouses no longer exist, and there will be neither bars on the
windows nor hospital gowns. Of course, that time will come sooner or
later."
Ivan
Dmitritch smiled ironically.
"You are jesting," he said, screwing up his eyes. "Such
gentlemen as you and your assistant Nikita have nothing to do with the future,
but you may be sure, sir, better days will come! I may express myself cheaply,
you may laugh, but the dawn of a new life is at hand; truth and justice will
triumph, and -- our turn will come! I shall not live to see it, I shall perish,
but some people's great-grandsons will see it. I greet them with all my heart
and rejoice, rejoice with them! Onward! God be your help, friends!"
With
shining eyes Ivan Dmitritch got up, and stretching his hands towards the
window, went on with emotion in his voice:
"From behind these bars I bless you! Hurrah for truth and justice! I
rejoice!"
"I see no particular reason to rejoice," said Andrey Yefimitch, who
thought Ivan Dmitritch's movement theatrical, though he was delighted by it.
"Prisons and madhouses there will not be, and truth, as you have just
expressed it, will triumph; but the reality of things, you know, will not
change, the laws of nature will still remain the same. People will suffer pain,
grow old, and die just as they do now. However magnificent a dawn lighted up
your life, you would yet in the end be nailed up in a coffin and thrown into a
hole."
"And immortality?"
"Oh, come, now!"
"You don't believe in it, but I do. Somebody in Dostoevsky or Voltaire
said that if there had not been a God men would have invented him. And I firmly
believe that if there is no immortality the great intellect of man will sooner
or later invent it."
"Well said," observed Andrey Yefimitch, smiling with pleasure; its a
good thing you have faith. With such a belief one may live happily even shut up
within walls. You have studied somewhere, I presume?"
"Yes, I have been at the university, but did not complete my
studies."
"You are a reflecting and a thoughtful man. In any surroundings you can
find tranquillity in yourself. Free and deep thinking which strives for the
comprehension of life, and complete contempt for the foolish bustle of the
world -- those are two blessings beyond any that man has ever known. And you
can possess them even though you lived behind threefold bars. Diogenes lived in
a tub, yet he was happier than all the kings of the earth."
"Your Diogenes was a blockhead," said Ivan Dmitritch morosely.
"Why do you talk to me about Diogenes and some foolish comprehension of
life?" he cried, growing suddenly angry and leaping up. "I love life;
I love it passionately. I have the mania of persecution, a continual agonizing
terror; but I have moments when I am overwhelmed by the thirst for life, and then
I am afraid of going mad. I want dreadfully to live, dreadfully!"
He
walked up and down the ward in agitation, and said, dropping his voice:
"When I dream I am haunted by phantoms. People come to me, I hear voices
and music, and I fancy I am walking through woods or by the seashore, and I
long so passionately for movement, for interests. . . . Come, tell me, what
news is there?" asked Ivan Dmitritch; "what's happening?"
"Do you wish to know about the town or in general?"
"Well, tell me first about the town, and then in general."
"Well, in the town it is appallingly dull. . . . There's no one to say a
word to, no one to listen to. There are no new people. A young doctor called
Hobotov has come here recently."
"He had come in my time. Well, he is a low cad, isn't he?"
"Yes, he is a man of no culture. It's strange, you know. . . . Judging by
every sign, there is no intellectual stagnation in our capital cities; there is
a movement -- so there must be real people there too; but for some reason they
always send us such men as I would rather not see. It's an unlucky town!"
"Yes, it is an unlucky town," sighed Ivan Dmitritch, and he laughed.
"And how are things in general? What are they writing in the papers and
reviews?"
It was
by now dark in the ward. The doctor got up, and, standing, began to describe
what was being written abroad and in Russia, and the tendency of thought that
could be noticed now. Ivan Dmitritch listened attentively and put questions,
but suddenly, as though recalling something terrible, clutched at his head and
lay down on the bed with his back to the doctor.
"What's the matter?" asked Andrey Yefimitch.
"You will not hear another word from me," said Ivan Dmitritch rudely.
"Leave me alone."
"Why so?"
"I tell you, leave me alone. Why the devil do you persist?"
Andrey
Yefimitch shrugged his shoulders, heaved a sigh, and went out. As he crossed
the entry he said: "You might clear up here, Nikita . . . there's an
awfully stuffy smell."
"Certainly, your honour."
"What an agreeable young man!" thought Andrey Yefimitch, going back
to his flat. "In all the years I have been living here I do believe he is
the first I have met with whom one can talk. He is capable of reasoning and is
interested in just the right things."
While
he was reading, and afterwards, while he was going to bed, he kept thinking
about Ivan Dmitritch, and when he woke next morning he remembered that he had
the day before made the acquaintance of an intelligent and interesting man, and
determined to visit him again as soon as possible.
X
Ivan Dmitritch was lying in the
same position as on the previous day, with his head clutched in both hands and
his legs drawn up. His face was not visible.
"Good-day, my friend," said Andrey Yefimitch. "You are not
asleep, are you?"
"In the first place, I am not your friend," Ivan Dmitritch
articulated into the pillow; "and in the second, your efforts are useless;
you will not get one word out of me."
"Strange," muttered Andrey Yefimitch in confusion. "Yesterday we
talked peacefully, but suddenly for some reason you took offence and broke off
all at once. . . . Probably I expressed myself awkwardly, or perhaps gave
utterance to some idea which did not fit in with your convictions. . . ."
"Yes, a likely idea!" said Ivan Dmitritch, sitting up and looking at
the doctor with irony and uneasiness. His eyes were red. "You can go and
spy and probe somewhere else, it's no use your doing it here. I knew yesterday
what you had come for."
"A strange fancy," laughed the doctor. "So you suppose me to be
a spy?"
"Yes, I do. . . . A spy or a doctor who has been charged to test me --
it's all the same ---"
"Oh excuse me, what a queer fellow you are really!"
The
doctor sat down on the stool near the bed and shook his head reproachfully.
"But let us suppose you are right," he said, "let us suppose
that I am treacherously trying to trap you into saying something so as to
betray you to the police. You would be arrested and then tried. But would you
be any worse off being tried and in prison than you are here? If you are
banished to a settlement, or even sent to penal servitude, would it be worse
than being shut up in this ward? I imagine it would be no worse. . . . What,
then, are you afraid of?"
These
words evidently had an effect on Ivan Dmitritch. He sat down quietly.
It was
between four and five in the afternoon -- the time when Andrey Yefimitch
usually walked up and down his rooms, and Daryushka asked whether it was not
time for his beer. It was a still, bright day.
"I came out for a walk after dinner, and here I have come, as you
see," said the doctor. "It is quite spring."
"What month is it? March?" asked Ivan Dmitritch.
"Yes, the end of March."
"Is it very muddy?"
"No, not very. There are already paths in the garden."
"It would be nice now to drive in an open carriage somewhere into the
country," said Ivan Dmitritch, rubbing his red eyes as though he were just
awake, "then to come home to a warm, snug study, and . . . and to have a
decent doctor to cure one's headache. . . . It's so long since I have lived
like a human being. It's disgusting here! Insufferably disgusting!"
After
his excitement of the previous day he was exhausted and listless, and spoke
unwillingly. His fingers twitched, and from his face it could be seen that he
had a splitting headache.
"There is no real difference between a warm, snug study and this ward,"
said Andrey Yefimitch. "A man's peace and contentment do not lie outside a
man, but in himself."
"What do you mean?"
"The ordinary man looks for good and evil in external things -- that is,
in carriages, in studies -- but a thinking man looks for it in himself."
"You should go and preach that philosophy in Greece, where it's warm and
fragrant with the scent of pomegranates, but here it is not suited to the
climate. With whom was it I was talking of Diogenes? Was it with you?"
"Yes, with me yesterday."
"Diogenes did not need a study or a warm habitation; it's hot there
without. You can lie in your tub and eat oranges and olives. But bring him to
Russia to live: he'd be begging to be let indoors in May, let alone December. He'd
be doubled up with the cold."
"No. One can be insensible to cold as to every other pain. Marcus Aurelius
says: 'A pain is a vivid idea of pain; make an effort of will to change that
idea, dismiss it, cease to complain, and the pain will disappear.' That is
true. The wise man, or simply the reflecting, thoughtful man, is distinguished
precisely by his contempt for suffering; he is always contented and surprised
at nothing."
"Then I am an idiot, since I suffer and am discontented and surprised at
the baseness of mankind."
"You are wrong in that; if you will reflect more on the subject you will
understand how insignificant is all that external world that agitates us. One
must strive for the comprehension of life, and in that is true happiness."
"Comprehension . . ." repeated Ivan Dmitritch frowning.
"External, internal. . . . Excuse me, but I don t understand it. I only
know," he said, getting up and looking angrily at the doctor -- "I
only know that God has created me of warm blood and nerves, yes, indeed! If
organic tissue is capable of life it must react to every stimulus. And I do! To
pain I respond with tears and outcries, to baseness with indignation, to filth
with loathing. To my mind, that is just what is called life. The lower the
organism, the less sensitive it is, and the more feebly it reacts to stimulus;
and the higher it is, the more responsively and vigorously it reacts to
reality. How is it you don't know that? A doctor, and not know such trifles! To
despise suffering, to be always contented, and to be surprised at nothing, one
must reach this condition" -- and Ivan Dmitritch pointed to the peasant
who was a mass of fat -- "or to harden oneself by suffering to such a
point that one loses all sensibility to it -- that is, in other words, to cease
to live. You must excuse me, I am not a sage or a philosopher," Ivan
Dmitritch continued with irritation, "and I don't understand anything
about it. I am not capable of reasoning."
"On the contrary, your reasoning is excellent."
"The Stoics, whom you are parodying, were remarkable people, but their
doctrine crystallized two thousand years ago and has not advanced, and will not
advance, an inch forward, since it is not practical or living. It had a success
only with the minority which spends its life in savouring all sorts of theories
and ruminating over them; the majority did not understand it. A doctrine which
advocates indifference to wealth and to the comforts of life, and a contempt
for suffering and death, is quite unintelligible to the vast majority of men,
since that majority has never known wealth or the comforts of life; and to
despise suffering would mean to it despising life itself, since the whole
existence of man is made up of the sensations of hunger, cold, injury, and a
Hamlet-like dread of death. The whole of life lies in these sensations; one may
be oppressed by it, one may hate it, but one cannot despise it. Yes, so, I
repeat, the doctrine of the Stoics can never have a future; from the beginning
of time up to to-day you see continually increasing the struggle, the
sensibility to pain, the capacity of responding to stimulus."
Ivan
Dmitritch suddenly lost the thread of his thoughts, stopped, and rubbed his
forehead with vexation.
"I meant to say something important, but I have lost it," he said.
"What was I saying? Oh, yes! This is what I mean: one of the Stoics sold
himself into slavery to redeem his neighbour, so, you see, even a Stoic did
react to stimulus, since, for such a generous act as the destruction of oneself
for the sake of one's neighbour, he must have had a soul capable of pity and
indignation. Here in prison I have forgotten everything I have learned, or else
I could have recalled something else. Take Christ, for instance: Christ responded
to reality by weeping, smiling, being sorrowful and moved to wrath, even
overcome by misery. He did not go to meet His sufferings with a smile, He did
not despise death, but prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane that this cup might
pass Him by."
Ivan
Dmitritch laughed and sat down.
"Granted that a man's peace and contentment lie not outside but in
himself," he said, "granted that one must despise suffering and not
be surprised at anything, yet on what ground do you preach the theory? Are you a
sage? A philosopher?"
"No, I am not a philosopher, but everyone ought to preach it because it is
reasonable."
"No, I want to know how it is that you consider yourself competent to
judge of 'comprehension,' contempt for suffering, and so on. Have you ever
suffered? Have you any idea of suffering? Allow me to ask you, were you ever
thrashed in your childhood?"
"No, my parents had an aversion for corporal punishment."
"My father used to flog me cruelly; my father was a harsh, sickly Government
clerk with a long nose and a yellow neck. But let us talk of you. No one has
laid a finger on you all your life, no one has scared you nor beaten you; you
are as strong as a bull. You grew up under your father's wing and studied at
his expense, and then you dropped at once into a sinecure. For more than twenty
years you have lived rent free with heating, lighting, and service all
provided, and had the right to work how you pleased and as much as you pleased,
even to do nothing. You were naturally a flabby, lazy man, and so you have
tried to arrange your life so that nothing should disturb you or make you move.
You have handed over your work to the assistant and the rest of the rabble
while you sit in peace and warmth, save money, read, amuse yourself with
reflections, with all sorts of lofty nonsense, and" (Ivan Dmitritch looked
at the doctor's red nose) "with boozing; in fact, you have seen nothing of
life, you know absolutely nothing of it, and are only theoretically acquainted
with reality; you despise suffering and are surprised at nothing for a very
simple reason: vanity of vanities, the external and the internal, contempt for
life, for suffering and for death, comprehension, true happiness -- that's the
philosophy that suits the Russian sluggard best. You see a peasant beating his
wife, for instance. Why interfere? Let him beat her, they will both die sooner
or later, anyway; and, besides, he who beats injures by his blows, not the
person he is beating, but himself. To get drunk is stupid and unseemly, but if
you drink you die, and if you don't drink you die. A peasant woman comes with
toothache . . . well, what of it? Pain is the idea of pain, and besides 'there
is no living in this world without illness; we shall all die, and so, go away,
woman, don't hinder me from thinking and drinking vodka.' A young man asks
advice, what he is to do, how he is to live; anyone else would think before
answering, but you have got the answer ready: strive for 'comprehension' or for
true happiness. And what is that fantastic 'true happiness'? There's no answer,
of course. We are kept here behind barred windows, tortured, left to rot; but
that is very good and reasonable, because there is no difference at all between
this ward and a warm, snug study. A convenient philosophy. You can do nothing,
and your conscience is clear, and you feel you are wise. . . . No, sir, it is
not philosophy, it's not thinking, it's not breadth of vision, but laziness,
fakirism, drowsy stupefaction. Yes," cried Ivan Dmitritch, getting angry
again, "you despise suffering, but I'll be bound if you pinch your finger
in the door you will howl at the top of your voice."
"And perhaps I shouldn't howl," said Andrey Yefimitch, with a gentle
smile.
"Oh, I dare say! Well, if you had a stroke of paralysis, or supposing some
fool or bully took advantage of his position and rank to insult you in public,
and if you knew he could do it with impunity, then you would understand what it
means to put people off with comprehension and true happiness."
"That's original," said Andrey Yefimitch, laughing with pleasure and
rubbing his hands. "I am agreeably struck by your inclination for drawing
generalizations, and the sketch of my character you have just drawn is simply
brilliant. I must confess that talking to you gives me great pleasure. Well,
I've listened to you, and now you must graciously listen to me."
XI
The conversation went on for
about an hour longer, and apparently made a deep impression on Andrey
Yefimitch. He began going to the ward every day. He went there in the mornings
and after dinner, and often the dusk of evening found him in conversation with
Ivan Dmitritch. At first Ivan Dmitritch held aloof from him, suspected him of
evil designs, and openly expressed his hostility. But afterwards he got used to
him, and his abrupt manner changed to one of condescending irony.
Soon
it was all over the hospital that the doctor, Andrey Yefimitch, had taken to
visiting Ward No. 6. No one -- neither Sergey Sergevitch, nor Nikita, nor the nurses
-- could conceive why he went there, why he stayed there for hours together,
what he was talking about, and why he did not write prescriptions. His actions
seemed strange. Often Mihail Averyanitch did not find him at home, which had
never happened in the past, and Daryushka was greatly perturbed, for the doctor
drank his beer now at no definite time, and sometimes was even late for dinner.
One
day -- it was at the end of June -- Dr. Hobotov went to see Andrey Yefimitch
about something. Not finding him at home, he proceeded to look for him in the
yard; there he was told that the old doctor had gone to see the mental
patients. Going into the lodge and stopping in the entry, Hobotov heard the
following conversation: "We shall never agree, and you
will not succeed in converting me to your faith," Ivan Dmitritch was
saying irritably; "you are utterly ignorant of reality, and you have never
known suffering, but have only like a leech fed beside the sufferings of
others, while I have been in continual suffering from the day of my birth till
to-day. For that reason, I tell you frankly, I consider myself superior to you
and more competent in every respect. It's not for you to teach me."
"I have absolutely no ambition to convert you to my faith," said
Andrey Yefimitch gently, and with regret that the other refused to understand
him. "And that is not what matters, my friend; what matters is not that
you have suffered and I have not. Joy and suffering are passing; let us leave
them, never mind them. What matters is that you and I think; we see in each
other people who are capable of thinking and reasoning, and that is a common
bond between us however different our views. If you knew, my friend, how sick I
am of the universal senselessness, ineptitude, stupidity, and with what delight
I always talk with you! You are an intelligent man, and I enjoyed your
company."
Hobotov opened the door an inch and glanced into the ward; Ivan Dmitritch in
his night-cap and the doctor Andrey Yefimitch were sitting side by side on the
bed. The madman was grimacing, twitching, and convulsively wrapping himself in
his gown, while the doctor sat motionless with bowed head, and his face was red
and look helpless and sorrowful. Hobotov shrugged his shoulders, grinned, and glanced
at Nikita. Nikita shrugged his shoulders too.
Next
day Hobotov went to the lodge, accompanied by the assistant. Both stood in the
entry and listened.
"I fancy our old man has gone clean off his chump!" said Hobotov as
he came out of the lodge.
"Lord have mercy upon us sinners!" sighed the decorous Sergey
Sergeyitch, scrupulously avoiding the puddles that he might not muddy his
polished boots. "I must own, honoured Yevgeny Fyodoritch, I have been
expecting it for a long time."
XII
After this Andrey Yefimitch
began to notice a mysterious air in all around him. The attendants, the nurses,
and the patients looked at him inquisitively when they met him, and then
whispered together. The superintendent's little daughter Masha, whom he liked
to meet in the hospital garden, for some reason ran away from him now when he
went up with a smile to stroke her on the head. The postmaster no longer said,
"Perfectly true," as he listened to him, but in unaccountable
confusion muttered, "Yes, yes, yes . . ." and looked at him with a
grieved and thoughtful expression; for some reason he took to advising his
friend to give up vodka and beer, but as a man of delicate feeling he did not
say this directly, but hinted it, telling him first about the commanding
officer of his battalion, an excellent man, and then about the priest of the
regiment, a capital fellow, both of whom drank and fell ill, but on giving up
drinking completely regained their health. On two or three occasions Andrey
Yefimitch was visited by his colleague Hobotov, who also advised him to give up
spirituous liquors, and for no apparent reason recommended him to take bromide.
In
August Andrey Yefimitch got a letter from the mayor of the town asking him to
come on very important business. On arriving at the town hall at the time
fixed, Andrey Yefimitch found there the military commander, the superintendent
of the district school, a member of the town council, Hobotov, and a plump,
fair gentleman who was introduced to him as a doctor. This doctor, with a
Polish surname difficult to pronounce, lived at a pedigree stud-farm twenty
miles away, and was now on a visit to the town.
"There's something that concerns you," said the member of the town
council, addressing Andrey Yefimitch after they had all greeted one another and
sat down to the table. "Here Yevgeny Fyodoritch says that there is not
room for the dispensary in the main building, and that it ought to be
transferred to one of the lodges. That's of no consequence -- of course it can
be transferred, but the point is that the lodge wants doing up."
"Yes, it would have to be done up," said Andrey Yefimitch after a
moment's thought. "If the corner lodge, for instance, were fitted up as a
dispensary, I imagine it would cost at least five hundred roubles. An
unproductive expenditure!"
Everyone was silent for a space.
"I had the honour of submitting to you ten years ago," Andrey
Yefimitch went on in a low voice, "that the hospital in its present form
is a luxury for the town beyond its means. It was built in the forties, but
things were different then. The town spends too much on unnecessary buildings
and superfluous staff. I believe with a different system two model hospitals
might be maintained for the same money."
"Well,
let us have a different system, then!" the member of the town council said
briskly.
"I have already had the honour of submitting to you that the medical
department should be transferred to the supervision of the Zemstvo."
"Yes, transfer the money to the Zemstvo and they will steal it,"
laughed the fair-haired doctor.
"That's what it always comes to," the member of the council assented,
and he also laughed.
Andrey
Yefimitch looked with apathetic, lustreless eyes at the fair-haired doctor and
said: "One should be just."
Again
there was silence. Tea was brought in. The military commander, for some reason
much embarrassed, touched Andrey Yefimitch's hand across the table and said:
"You have quite forgotten us, doctor. But of course you are a hermit: you
don't play cards and don't like women. You would be dull with fellows like
us."
They
all began saying how boring it was for a decent person to live in such a town.
No theatre, no music, and at the last dance at the club there had been about
twenty ladies and only two gentlemen. The young men did not dance, but spent
all the time crowding round the refreshment bar or playing cards.
Not
looking at anyone and speaking slowly in a low voice, Andrey Yefimitch began
saying what a pity, what a terrible pity it was that the townspeople should
waste their vital energy, their hearts, and their minds on cards and gossip,
and should have neither the power nor the inclination to spend their time in
interesting conversation and reading, and should refuse to take advantage of
the enjoyments of the mind. The mind alone was interesting and worthy of
attention, all the rest was low and petty. Hobotov listened to his colleague
attentively and suddenly asked:
"Andrey Yefimitch, what day of the month is it?"
Having
received an answer, the fair-haired doctor and he, in the tone of examiners
conscious of their lack of skill, began asking Andrey Yefimitch what was the
day of the week, how many days there were in the year, and whether it was true
that there was a remarkable prophet living in Ward No. 6.
In
response to the last question Andrey Yefimitch turned rather red and said:
"Yes, he is mentally deranged, but he is an interesting young man."
They
asked him no other questions.
When
he was putting on his overcoat in the entry, the military commander laid a hand
on his shoulder and said with a sigh:
"It's time for us old fellows to rest!"
As he
came out of the hall, Andrey Yefimitch understood that it had been a committee
appointed to enquire into his mental condition. He recalled the questions that
had been asked him, flushed crimson, and for some reason, for the first time in
his life, felt bitterly grieved for medical science.
"My God. . ." he thought, remembering how these doctors had just
examined him; "why, they have only lately been hearing lectures on mental
pathology; they had passed an examination -- what's the explanation of this
crass ignorance? They have not a conception of mental pathology!"
And
for the first time in his life he felt insulted and moved to anger.
In the
evening of the same day Mihail Averyanitch came to see him. The postmaster went
up to him without waiting to greet him, took him by both hands, and said in an
agitated voice:
"My dear fellow, my dear friend, show me that you believe in my genuine
affection and look on me as your friend!" And preventing Andrey Yefimitch
from speaking, he went on, growing excited: "I love you for your culture
and nobility of soul. Listen to me, my dear fellow. The rules of their
profession compel the doctors to conceal the truth from you, but I blurt out
the plain truth like a soldier. You are not well! Excuse me, my dear fellow,
but it is the truth; everyone about you has been noticing it for a long time.
Dr. Yevgeny Fyodoritch has just told me that it is essential for you to rest
and distract your mind for the sake of your health. Perfectly true! Excellent!
In a day or two I am taking a holiday and am going away for a sniff of a
different atmosphere. Show that you are a friend to me, let us go together! Let
us go for a jaunt as in the good old days."
"I feel perfectly well," said Andrey Yefimitch after a moment's
thought. "I can't go away. Allow me to show you my friendship in some
other way."
To go
off with no object, without his books, without his Daryushka, without his beer,
to break abruptly through the routine of life, established for twenty years --
the idea for the first minute struck him as wild and fantastic, but he
remembered the conversation at the Zemstvo committee and the depressing
feelings with which he had returned home, and the thought of a brief absence
from the town in which stupid people looked on him as a madman was pleasant to
him.
"And where precisely do you intend to go?" he asked.
"To Moscow, to Petersburg, to Warsaw. . . . I spent the five happiest
years of my life in Warsaw. What a marvellous town! Let us go, my dear
fellow!"
XIII
A week later it was suggested
to Andrey Yefimitch that he should have a rest -- that is, send in his
resignation -- a suggestion he received with indifference, and a week later
still, Mihail Averyanitch and he were sitting in a posting carriage driving to
the nearest railway station. The days were cool and bright, with a blue sky and
a transparent distance. They were two days driving the hundred and fifty miles
to the railway station, and stayed two nights on the way. When at the posting
station the glasses given them for their tea had not been properly washed, or
the drivers were slow in harnessing the horses, Mihail Averyanitch would turn
crimson, and quivering all over would shout:
"Hold your tongue! Don't argue!"
And in
the carriage he talked without ceasing for a moment, describing his campaigns
in the Caucasus and in Poland. What adventures he had had, what meetings! He
talked loudly and opened his eyes so wide with wonder that he might well be
thought to be lying. Moreover, as he talked he breathed in Andrey Yefimitch's
face and laughed into his ear. This bothered the doctor and prevented him from
thinking or concentrating his mind.
In the
train they travelled, from motives of economy, third-class in a non-smoking
compartment. Half the passengers were decent people. Mihail Averyanitch soon
made friends with everyone, and moving from one seat to another, kept saying
loudly that they ought not to travel by these appalling lines. It was a regular
swindle! A very different thing riding on a good horse: one could do over
seventy miles a day and feel fresh and well after it. And our bad harvests were
due to the draining of the Pinsk marshes; altogether, the way things were done
was dreadful. He got excited, talked loudly, and would not let others speak.
This endless chatter to the accompaniment of loud laughter and expressive
gestures wearied Andrey Yefimitch.
"Which of us is the madman?" he thought with vexation. "I, who
try not to disturb my fellow-passengers in any way, or this egoist who thinks
that he is cleverer and more interesting than anyone here, and so will leave no
one in peace?"
In
Moscow Mihail Averyanitch put on a military coat without epaulettes and
trousers with red braid on them. He wore a military cap and overcoat in the
street, and soldiers saluted him. It seemed to Andrey Yefimitch, now, that his
companion was a man who had flung away all that was good and kept only what was
bad of all the characteristics of a country gentleman that he had once
possessed. He liked to be waited on even when it was quite unnecessary. The
matches would be lying before him on the table, and he would see them and shout
to the waiter to give him the matches; he did not hesitate to appear before a
maidservant in nothing but his underclothes; he used the familiar mode of
address to all footmen indiscriminately, even old men, and when he was angry
called them fools and blockheads. This, Andrey Yefimitch thought, was like a
gentleman, but disgusting.
First
of all Mihail Averyanitch led his friend to the Iversky Madonna. He prayed
fervently, shedding tears and bowing down to the earth, and when he had
finished, heaved a deep sigh and said:
"Even though one does not believe it makes one somehow easier when one
prays a little. Kiss the ikon, my dear fellow."
Andrey
Yefimitch was embarrassed and he kissed the image, while Mihail Averyanitch
pursed up his lips and prayed in a whisper, and again tears came into his eyes.
Then they went to the Kremlin and looked there at the Tsar-cannon and the
Tsar-bell, and even touched them with their fingers, admired the view over the
river, visited St. Saviour's and the Rumyantsev museum.
They
dined at Tyestov's. Mihail Averyanitch looked a long time at the menu, stroking
his whiskers, and said in the tone of a gourmand accustomed to dine in
restaurants: "We shall see what you give us
to eat to-day, angel!"
XIV
The doctor walked about, looked
at things, ate and drank, but he had all the while one feeling: annoyance with
Mihail Averyanitch. He longed to have a rest from his friend, to get away from
him, to hide himself, while the friend thought it was his duty not to let the
doctor move a step away from him, and to provide him with as many distractions
as possible. When there was nothing to look at he entertained him with conversation.
For two days Andrey Yefimitch endured it, but on the third he announced to his
friend that he was ill and wanted to stay at home for the whole day; his friend
replied that in that case he would stay too -- that really he needed rest, for
he was run off his legs already. Andrey Yefimitch lay on the sofa, with his
face to the back, and clenching his teeth, listened to his friend, who assured
him with heat that sooner or later France would certainly thrash Germany, that
there were a great many scoundrels in Moscow, and that it was impossible to
judge of a horse's quality by its outward appearance. The doctor began to have
a buzzing in his ears and palpitations of the heart, but out of delicacy could
not bring himself to beg his friend to go away or hold his tongue. Fortunately
Mihail Averyanitch grew weary of sitting in the hotel room, and after dinner he
went out for a walk.
As
soon as he was alone Andrey Yefimitch abandoned himself to a feeling of relief.
How pleasant to lie motionless on the sofa and to know that one is alone in the
room! Real happiness is impossible without solitude. The fallen angel betrayed
God probably because he longed for solitude, of which the angels know nothing.
Andrey Yefimitch wanted to think about what he had seen and heard during the
last few days, but he could not get Mihail Averyanitch out of his head.
"Why, he has taken a holiday and come with me out of friendship, out of
generosity," thought the doctor with vexation; "nothing could be
worse than this friendly supervision. I suppose he is good-natured and generous
and a lively fellow, but he is a bore. An insufferable bore. In the same way
there are people who never say anything but what is clever and good, yet one
feels that they are dull-witted people."
For
the following days Andrey Yefimitch declared himself ill and would not leave
the hotel room; he lay with his face to the back of the sofa, and suffered
agonies of weariness when his friend entertained him with conversation, or rested
when his friend was absent. He was vexed with himself for having come, and with
his friend, who grew every day more talkative and more free-and-easy; he could
not succeed in attuning his thoughts to a serious and lofty level.
"This is what I get from the real life Ivan Dmitritch talked about,"
he thought, angry at his own pettiness. "It's of no consequence, though. .
. . I shall go home, and everything will go on as before. . . ."
It was
the same thing in Petersburg too; for whole days together he did not leave the
hotel room, but lay on the sofa and only got up to drink beer.
Mihail
Averyanitch was all haste to get to Warsaw.
"My dear man, what should I go there for?" said Andrey Yefimitch in
an imploring voice. "You go alone and let me get home! I entreat
you!"
"On no account," protested Mihail Averyanitch. "It's a
marvellous town."
Andrey
Yefimitch had not the strength of will to insist on his own way, and much
against his inclination went to Warsaw. There he did not leave the hotel room,
but lay on the sofa, furious with himself, with his friend, and with the
waiters, who obstinately refused to understand Russian; while Mihail
Averyanitch, healthy, hearty, and full of spirits as usual, went about the town
from morning to night, looking for his old acquaintances. Several times he did
not return home at night. After one night spent in some unknown haunt he
returned home early in the morning, in a violently excited condition, with a
red face and tousled hair. For a long time he walked up and down the rooms
muttering something to himself, then stopped and said:
"Honour before everything."
After
walking up and down a little longer he clutched his head in both hands and
pronounced in a tragic voice: "Yes, honour before everything! Accursed be
the moment when the idea first entered my head to visit this Babylon! My dear
friend," he added, addressing the doctor, "you may despise me, I have
played and lost; lend me five hundred roubles!"
Andrey
Yefimitch counted out five hundred roubles and gave them to his friend without
a word. The latter, still crimson with shame and anger, incoherently
articulated some useless vow, put on his cap, and went out. Returning two hours
later he flopped into an easy-chair, heaved a loud sigh, and said:
"My honour is saved. Let us go, my friend; I do not care to remain another
hour in this accursed town. Scoundrels! Austrian spies!"
By the
time the friends were back in their own town it was November, and deep snow was
lying in the streets. Dr. Hobotov had Andrey Yefimitch's post; he was still
living in his old lodgings, waiting for Andrey Yefimitch to arrive and clear
out of the hospital apartments. The plain woman whom he called his cook was
already established in one of the lodges.
Fresh
scandals about the hospital were going the round of the town. It was said that
the plain woman had quarrelled with the superintendent, and that the latter had
crawled on his knees before her begging forgiveness. On the very first day he
arrived Andrey Yefimitch had to look out for lodgings.
"My friend," the postmaster said to him timidly, "excuse an
indiscreet question: what means have you at your disposal"
Andrey
Yefimitch, without a word, counted out his money and said: "Eighty-six
roubles."
"I don't mean that," Mihail Averyanitch brought out in confusion,
misunderstanding him; "I mean, what have you to live on?"
"I tell you, eighty-six roubles . . . I have nothing else."
Mihail
Averyanitch looked upon the doctor as an honourable man, yet he suspected that
he had accumulated a fortune of at least twenty thousand. Now learning that
Andrey Yefimitch was a beggar, that he had nothing to live on he was for some
reason suddenly moved to tears and embraced his friend.
XV
Andrey Yefimitch now lodged in
a little house with three windows. There were only three rooms besides the
kitchen in the little house. The doctor lived in two of them which looked into
the street, while Daryushka and the landlady with her three children lived in the
third room and the kitchen. Sometimes the landlady's lover, a drunken peasant
who was rowdy and reduced the children and Daryushka to terror, would come for
the night. When he arrived and established himself in the kitchen and demanded
vodka, they all felt very uncomfortable, and the doctor would be moved by pity
to take the crying children into his room and let them lie on his floor, and
this gave him great satisfaction.
He got
up as before at eight o'clock, and after his morning tea sat down to read his
old books and magazines: he had no money for new ones. Either because the books
were old, or perhaps because of the change in his surroundings, reading
exhausted him, and did not grip his attention as before. That he might not
spend his time in idleness he made a detailed catalogue of his books and gummed
little labels on their backs, and this mechanical, tedious work seemed to him
more interesting than reading. The monotonous, tedious work lulled his thoughts
to sleep in some unaccountable way, and the time passed quickly while he
thought of nothing. Even sitting in the kitchen, peeling potatoes with
Daryushka or picking over the buckwheat grain, seemed to him interesting. On
Saturdays and Sundays he went to church. Standing near the wall and half closing
his eyes, he listened to the singing and thought of his father, of his mother,
of the university, of the religions of the world; he felt calm and melancholy,
and as he went out of the church afterwards he regretted that the service was
so soon over. He went twice to the hospital to talk to Ivan Dmitritch. But on
both occasions Ivan Dmitritch was unusually excited and ill-humoured; he bade
the doctor leave him in peace, as he had long been sick of empty chatter, and
declared, to make up for all his sufferings, he asked from the damned
scoundrels only one favour -- solitary confinement. Surely they would not
refuse him even that? On both occasions when Andrey Yefimitch was taking leave
of him and wishing him good-night, he answered rudely and said:
"Go to hell!"
And
Andrey Yefimitch did not know now whether to go to him for the third time or
not. He longed to go.
In old
days Andrey Yefimitch used to walk about his rooms and think in the interval
after dinner, but now from dinner-time till evening tea he lay on the sofa with
his face to the back and gave himself up to trivial thoughts which he could not
struggle against. He was mortified that after more than twenty years of service
he had been given neither a pension nor any assistance. It is true that he had
not done his work honestly, but, then, all who are in the Service get a pension
without distinction whether they are honest or not. Contemporary justice lies
precisely in the bestowal of grades, orders, and pensions, not for moral
qualities or capacities, but for service whatever it may have been like. Why
was he alone to be an exception? He had no money at all. He was ashamed to pass
by the shop and look at the woman who owned it. He owed thirty-two roubles for
beer already. There was money owing to the landlady also. Daryushka sold old
clothes and books on the sly, and told lies to the landlady, saying that the
doctor was just going to receive a large sum of money.
He was
angry with himself for having wasted on travelling the thousand roubles he had
saved up. How useful that thousand roubles would have been now! He was vexed
that people would not leave him in peace. Hobotov thought it his duty to look
in on his sick colleague from time to time. Everything about him was revolting
to Andrey Yefimitch -- his well-fed face and vulgar, condescending tone, and
his use of the word "colleague," and his high top-boots; the most
revolting thing was that he thought it was his duty to treat Andrey Yefimitch,
and thought that he really was treating him. On every visit he brought a bottle
of bromide and rhubarb pills.
Mihail
Averyanitch, too, thought it his duty to visit his friend and entertain him.
Every time he went in to Andrey Yefimitch with an affectation of ease, laughed
constrainedly, and began assuring him that he was looking very well to-day, and
that, thank God, he was on the highroad to recovery, and from this it might be
concluded that he looked on his friend's condition as hopeless. He had not yet
repaid his Warsaw debt, and was overwhelmed by shame; he was constrained, and
so tried to laugh louder and talk more amusingly. His anecdotes and
descriptions seemed endless now, and were an agony both to Andrey Yefimitch and
himself.
In his
presence Andrey Yefimitch usually lay on the sofa with his face to the wall,
and listened with his teeth clenched; his soul was oppressed with rankling
disgust, and after every visit from his friend he felt as though this disgust
had risen higher, and was mounting into his throat.
To
stifle petty thoughts he made haste to reflect that he himself, and Hobotov,
and Mihail Averyanitch, would all sooner or later perish without leaving any
trace on the world. If one imagined some spirit flying by the earthly globe in
space in a million years he would see nothing but clay and bare rocks.
Everything -- culture and the moral law -- would pass away and not even a
burdock would grow out of them. Of what consequence was shame in the presence
of a shopkeeper, of what consequence was the insignificant Hobotov or the
wearisome friendship of Mihail Averyanitch? It was all trivial and nonsensical.
But
such reflections did not help him now. Scarcely had he imagined the earthly
globe in a million years, when Hobotov in his high top-boots or Mihail
Averyanitch with his forced laugh would appear from behind a bare rock, and he
even heard the shamefaced whisper: "The Warsaw debt. . . . I will repay it
in a day or two, my dear fellow, without fail. . . ."
XVI
One day Mihail Averyanitch came
after dinner when Andrey Yefimitch was lying on the sofa. It so happened that
Hobotov arrived at the same time with his bromide. Andrey Yefimitch got up
heavily and sat down, leaning both arms on the sofa.
"You have a much better colour to-day than you had yesterday, my dear man,"
began Mihail Averyanitch. "Yes, you look jolly. Upon my soul, you
do!"
"It's high time you were well, dear colleague," said Hobotov,
yawning. "I'll be bound, you are sick of this bobbery."
"And we shall recover," said Mihail Averyanitch cheerfully. "We
shall live another hundred years! To be sure!"
"Not a hundred years, but another twenty," Hobotov said reassuringly.
"It's all right, all right, colleague; don't lose heart. . . . Don't go
piling it on!"
"We'll show what we can do," laughed Mihail Averyanitch, and he
slapped his friend on the knee. "We'll show them yet! Next summer, please
God, we shall be off to the Caucasus, and we will ride all over it on horseback
-- trot, trot, trot! And when we are back from the Caucasus I shouldn't wonder
if we will all dance at the wedding." Mihail Averyanitch gave a sly wink.
"We'll marry you, my dear boy, we'll marry you. . . ."
Andrey
Yefimitch felt suddenly that the rising disgust had mounted to his throat, his
heart began beating violently.
"That's vulgar," he said, getting up quickly and walking away to the
window. "Don't you understand that you are talking vulgar nonsense?"
He
meant to go on softly and politely, but against his will he suddenly clenched
his fists and raised them above his head.
"Leave me alone," he shouted in a voice unlike his own, blushing
crimson and shaking all over. "Go away, both of you!"
Mihail
Averyanitch and Hobotov got up and stared at him first with amazement and then
with alarm.
"Go away, both!" Andrey Yefimitch went on shouting. "Stupid
people! Foolish people! I don't want either your friendship or your medicines,
stupid man! Vulgar! Nasty!"
Hobotov and Mihail Averyanitch, looking at each other in bewilderment,
staggered to the door and went out. Andrey Yefimitch snatched up the bottle of
bromide and flung it after them; the bottle broke with a crash on the
door-frame.
"Go to the devil!" he shouted in a tearful voice, running out into
the passage. "To the devil!"
When
his guests were gone Andrey Yefimitch lay down on the sofa, trembling as though
in a fever, and went on for a long while repeating: "Stupid people!
Foolish people!"
When
he was calmer, what occurred to him first of all was the thought that poor
Mihail Averyanitch must be feeling fearfully ashamed and depressed now, and
that it was all dreadful. Nothing like this had ever happened to him before.
Where was his intelligence and his tact? Where was his comprehension of things
and his philosophical indifference?
The
doctor could not sleep all night for shame and vexation with himself, and at
ten o'clock next morning he went to the post office and apologized to the
postmaster.
"We won't think again of what has happened," Mihail Averyanitch,
greatly touched, said with a sigh, warmly pressing his hand. "Let bygones
be bygones. Lyubavkin," he suddenly shouted so loud that all the postmen
and other persons present started, "hand a chair; and you wait," he
shouted to a peasant woman who was stretching out a registered letter to him
through the grating. "Don't you see that I am busy? We will not remember
the past," he went on, affectionately addressing Andrey Yefimitch;
"sit down, I beg you, my dear fellow."
For a
minute he stroked his knees in silence, and then said:
"I have never had a thought of taking offence. Illness is no joke, I
understand. Your attack frightened the doctor and me yesterday, and we had a
long talk about you afterwards. My dear friend, why won't you treat your illness
seriously? You can't go on like this. . . . Excuse me speaking openly as a
friend," whispered Mihail Averyanitch. "You live in the most
unfavourable surroundings, in a crowd, in uncleanliness, no one to look after
you, no money for proper treatment. . . . My dear friend, the doctor and I
implore you with all our hearts, listen to our advice: go into the hospital!
There you will have wholesome food and attendance and treatment. Though,
between ourselves, Yevgeny Fyodoritch is mauvais ton, yet he does understand his
work, you can fully rely upon him. He has promised me he will look after you.
Andrey
Yefimitch was touched by the postmaster's genuine sympathy and the tears which
suddenly glittered on his cheeks.
"My honoured friend, don't believe it!" he whispered, laying his hand
on his heart; "don't believe them. It's all a sham. My illness is only
that in twenty years I have only found one intelligent man in the whole town,
and he is mad. I am not ill at all, it's simply that I have got into an enchanted
circle which there is no getting out of. I don't care; I am ready for
anything."
"Go into the hospital, my dear fellow."
"I don't care if it were into the pit."
"Give me your word, my dear man, that you will obey Yevgeny Fyodoritch in
everything."
"Certainly I will give you my word. But I repeat, my honoured friend, I
have got into an enchanted circle. Now everything, even the genuine sympathy of
my friends, leads to the same thing -- to my ruin. I am going to my ruin, and I
have the manliness to recognize it."
"My dear fellow, you will recover."
"What's the use of saying that?" said Andrey Yefimitch, with
irritation. "There are few men who at the end of their lives do not
experience what I am experiencing now. When you are told that you have
something such as diseased kidneys or enlarged heart, and you begin being
treated for it, or are told you are mad or a criminal -- that is, in fact, when
people suddenly turn their attention to you -- you may be sure you have got
into an enchanted circle from which you will not escape. You will try to escape
and make things worse. You had better give in, for no human efforts can save
you. So it seems to me."
Meanwhile the public was crowding at the grating. That he might not be in their
way, Andrey Yefimitch got up and began to take leave. Mihail Averyanitch made
him promise on his honour once more, and escorted him to the outer door.
Towards evening on the same day Hobotov, in his sheepskin and his high
top-boots, suddenly made his appearance, and said to Andrey Yefimitch in a tone
as though nothing had happened the day before:
"I have come on business, colleague. I have come to ask you whether you
would not join me in a consultation. Eh?"
Thinking that Hobotov wanted to distract his mind with an outing, or perhaps
really to enable him to earn something, Andrey Yefimitch put on his coat and
hat, and went out with him into the street. He was glad of the opportunity to
smooth over his fault of the previous day and to be reconciled, and in his
heart thanked Hobotov, who did not even allude to yesterday's scene and was
evidently sparing him. One would never have expected such delicacy from this
uncultured man.
"Where is your invalid?" asked Andrey Yefimitch.
"In the hospital. . . . I have long wanted to show him to you. A very
interesting case."
They
went into the hospital yard, and going round the main building, turned towards
the lodge where the mental cases were kept, and all this, for some reason, in
silence. When they went into the lodge Nikita as usual jumped up and stood at
attention.
"One of the patients here has a lung complication." Hobotov said in
an undertone, going into the yard with Andrey Yefimitch. "You wait here,
I'll be back directly. I am going for a stethoscope."
And he
went away.
XVII
It was getting dusk. Ivan
Dmitritch was lying on his bed with his face thrust unto his pillow; the
paralytic was sitting motionless, crying quietly and moving his lips. The fat
peasant and the former sorter were asleep. It was quiet.
Andrey
Yefimitch sat down on Ivan Dmitritch's bed and waited. But half an hour passed,
and instead of Hobotov, Nikita came into the ward with a dressing-gown, some
underlinen, and a pair of slippers in a heap on his arm.
"Please change your things, your honour," he said softly. "Here
is your bed; come this way," he added, pointing to an empty bedstead which
had obviously recently been brought into the ward. "It's all right; please
God, you will recover."
Andrey
Yefimitch understood it all. Without saying a word he crossed to the bed to
which Nikita pointed and sat down; seeing that Nikita was standing waiting, he
undressed entirely and he felt ashamed. Then he put on the hospital clothes;
the drawers were very short, the shirt was long, and the dressing-gown smelt of
smoked fish.
"Please God, you will recover," repeated Nikita, and he gathered up
Andrey Yefimitch's clothes into his arms, went out, and shut the door after
him.
"No matter. . ." thought Andrey Yefimitch, wrapping himself in his
dressing-gown in a shamefaced way and feeling that he looked like a convict in
his new costume. "It's no matter. . . . It does not matter whether it's a
dress-coat or a uniform or this dressing-gown."
But
how about his watch? And the notebook that was in the side-pocket? And his
cigarettes? Where had Nikita taken his clothes? Now perhaps to the day of his
death he would not put on trousers, a waistcoat, and high boots. It was all
somehow strange and even incomprehensible at first. Andrey Yefimitch was even
now convinced that there was no difference between his landlady's house and
Ward No. 6, that everything in this world was nonsense and vanity of vanities.
And yet his hands were trembling, his feet were cold, and he was filled with
dread at the thought that soon Ivan Dmitritch would get up and see that he was
in a dressing-gown. He got up and walked across the room and sat down again.
Here
he had been sitting already half an hour, an hour, and he was miserably sick of
it: was it really possible to live here a day, a week, and even years like
these people? Why, he had been sitting here, had walked about and sat down
again; he could get up and look out of window and walk from corner to corner
again, and then what? Sit so all the time, like a post, and think? No, that was
scarcely possible.
Andrey
Yefimitch lay down, but at once got up, wiped the cold sweat from his brow with
his sleeve and felt that his whole face smelt of smoked fish. He walked about
again.
"It's some misunderstanding. . ." he said, turning out the palms of
his hands in perplexity. "It must be cleared up. There is a
misunderstanding."
Meanwhile Ivan Dmitritch woke up; he sat up and propped his cheeks on his
fists. He spat. Then he glanced lazily at the doctor, and apparently for the
first minute did not understand; but soon his sleepy face grew malicious and
mocking.
"Aha! so they have put you in here, too, old fellow?" he said in a
voice husky from sleepiness, screwing up one eye. "Very glad to see you.
You sucked the blood of others, and now they will suck yours. Excellent!"
"It's a misunderstanding . . ." Andrey Yefimitch brought out,
frightened by Ivan Dmitritch's words; he shrugged his shoulders and repeated:
"It's some misunderstanding."
Ivan
Dmitritch spat again and lay down.
"Cursed life," he grumbled, "and what's bitter and insulting,
this life will not end in compensation for our sufferings, it will not end with
apotheosis as it would in an opera, but with death; peasants will come and drag
one's dead body by the arms and the legs to the cellar. Ugh! Well, it does not
matter. . . . We shall have our good time in the other world. . . . I shall
come here as a ghost from the other world and frighten these reptiles. I'll
turn their hair grey."
Moiseika returned, and, seeing the doctor, held out his hand.
"Give me one little kopeck," he said.
XVIII
Andrey Yefimitch walked away to
the window and looked out into the open country. It was getting dark, and on
the horizon to the right a cold crimson moon was mounting upwards. Not far from
the hospital fence, not much more than two hundred yards away, stood a tall
white house shut in by a stone wall. This was the prison.
"So this is real life," thought Andrey Yefimitch, and he felt
frightened.
The
moon and the prison, and the nails on the fence, and the far-away flames at the
bone-charring factory were all terrible. Behind him there was the sound of a
sigh. Andrey Yefimitch looked round and saw a man with glittering stars and
orders on his breast, who was smiling and slyly winking. And this, too, seemed
terrible.
Andrey
Yefimitch assured himself that there was nothing special about the moon or the
prison, that even sane persons wear orders, and that everything in time will
decay and turn to earth, but he was suddenly overcome with desire; he clutched
at the grating with both hands and shook it with all his might. The strong
grating did not yield.
Then
that it might not be so dreadful he went to Ivan Dmitritch's bed and sat down.
"I have lost heart, my dear fellow," he muttered, trembling and
wiping away the cold sweat, "I have lost heart."
"You should be philosophical," said Ivan Dmitritch ironically.
"My God, my God. . . . Yes, yes. . . . You were pleased to say once that
there was no philosophy in Russia, but that all people, even the paltriest,
talk philosophy. But you know the philosophizing of the paltriest does not harm
anyone," said Andrey Yefimitch in a tone as if he wanted to cry and
complain. "Why, then, that malignant laugh, my friend, and how can these
paltry creatures help philosophizing if they are not satisfied? For an
intelligent, educated man, made in God's image, proud and loving freedom, to
have no alternative but to be a doctor in a filthy, stupid, wretched little
town, and to spend his whole life among bottles, leeches, mustard plasters!
Quackery, narrowness, vulgarity! Oh, my God!"
"You are talking nonsense. If you don't like being a doctor you should
have gone in for being a statesman."
"I could not, I could not do anything. We are weak, my dear friend. . . .
I used to be indifferent. I reasoned boldly and soundly, but at the first
coarse touch of life upon me I have lost heart. . . . Prostration. . . . . We
are weak, we are poor creatures . . . and you, too, my dear friend, you are
intelligent, generous, you drew in good impulses with your mother's milk, but
you had hardly entered upon life when you were exhausted and fell ill. . . .
Weak, weak!"
Andrey
Yefimitch was all the while at the approach of evening tormented by another
persistent sensation besides terror and the feeling of resentment. At last he
realized that he was longing for a smoke and for beer.
"I am going out, my friend," he said. "I will tell them to bring
a light; I can't put up with this. . . . I am not equal to it. . . ."
Andrey
Yefimitch went to the door and opened it, but at once Nikita jumped up and
barred his way.
"Where are you going? You can't, you can't!" he said. "It's
bedtime."
"But I'm only going out for a minute to walk about the yard," said
Andrey Yefimitch.
"You can't, you can't; it's forbidden. You know that yourself."
"But what difference will it make to anyone if I do go out?" asked
Andrey Yefimitch, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't understand. Nikita, I
must go out!" he said in a trembling voice. "I must."
"Don't be disorderly, it's not right," Nikita said peremptorily.
"This is beyond everything," Ivan Dmitritch cried suddenly, and he
jumped up. "What right has he not to let you out? How dare they keep us
here? I believe it is clearly laid down in the law that no one can be deprived
of freedom without trial! It's an outrage! It's tyranny!"
"Of course it's tyranny," said Andrey Yefimitch, encouraged by Ivan
Dmitritch's outburst. "I must go out, I want to. He has no right! Open, I
tell you."
"Do you hear, you dull-witted brute?" cried Ivan Dmitritch, and he
banged on the door with his fist. "Open the door, or I will break it open!
Torturer!"
"Open the door," cried Andrey Yefimitch, trembling all over; "I
insist!"
"Talk away!" Nikita answered through the door, "talk away. . .
."
"Anyhow, go and call Yevgeny Fyodoritch! Say that I beg him to come for a
minute!"
"His honour will come of himself to-morrow."
"They will never let us out," Ivan Dmitritch was going on meanwhile.
"They will leave us to rot here! Oh, Lord, can there really be no hell in
the next world, and will these wretches be forgiven? Where is justice? Open the
door, you wretch! I am choking!" he cried in a hoarse voice, and flung
himself upon the door. "I'll dash out my brains, murderers!"
Nikita
opened the door quickly, and roughly with both his hands and his knee shoved
Andrey Yefimitch back, then swung his arm and punched him in the face with his
fist. It seemed to Andrey Yefimitch as though a huge salt wave enveloped him
from his head downwards and dragged him to the bed; there really was a salt
taste in his mouth: most likely the blood was running from his teeth. He waved
his arms as though he were trying to swim out and clutched at a bedstead, and
at the same moment felt Nikita hit him twice on the back.
Ivan
Dmitritch gave a loud scream. He must have been beaten too.
Then
all was still, the faint moonlight came through the grating, and a shadow like
a net lay on the floor. It was terrible. Andrey Yefimitch lay and held his
breath: he was expecting with horror to be struck again. He felt as though
someone had taken a sickle, thrust it into him, and turned it round several
times in his breast and bowels. He bit the pillow from pain and clenched his
teeth, and all at once through the chaos in his brain there flashed the
terrible unbearable thought that these people, who seemed now like black
shadows in the moonlight, had to endure such pain day by day for years. How
could it have happened that for more than twenty years he had not known it and
had refused to know it? He knew nothing of pain, had no conception of it, so he
was not to blame, but his conscience, as inexorable and as rough as Nikita,
made him turn cold from the crown of his head to his heels. He leaped up, tried
to cry out with all his might, and to run in haste to kill Nikita, and then
Hobotov, the superintendent and the assistant, and then himself; but no sound
came from his chest, and his legs would not obey him. Gasping for breath, he
tore at the dressing-gown and the shirt on his breast, rent them, and fell
senseless on the bed.
XIX
Next morning his head ached,
there was a droning in his ears and a feeling of utter weakness all over. He
was not ashamed at recalling his weakness the day before. He had been cowardly,
had even been afraid of the moon, had openly expressed thoughts and feelings
such as he had not expected in himself before; for instance, the thought that
the paltry people who philosophized were really dissatisfied. But now nothing
mattered to him.
He ate
nothing; he drank nothing. He lay motionless and silent.
"It is all the same to me, he thought when they asked him questions.
"I am not going to answer. . . . It's all the same to me."
After
dinner Mihail Averyanitch brought him a quarter pound of tea and a pound of
fruit pastilles. Daryushka came too and stood for a whole hour by the bed with
an expression of dull grief on her face. Dr. Hobotov visited him. He brought a
bottle of bromide and told Nikita to fumigate the ward with something.
Towards evening Andrey Yefimitch died of an apoplectic stroke. At first he had
a violent shivering fit and a feeling of sickness; something revolting as it
seemed, penetrating through his whole body, even to his finger-tips, strained
from his stomach to his head and flooded his eyes and ears. There was a
greenness before his eyes. Andrey Yefimitch understood that his end had come,
and remembered that Ivan Dmitritch, Mihail Averyanitch, and millions of people
believed in immortality. And what if it really existed? But he did not want
immortality -- and he thought of it only for one instant. A herd of deer,
extraordinarily beautiful and graceful, of which he had been reading the day
before, ran by him; then a peasant woman stretched out her hand to him with a
registered letter. . . . Mihail Averyanitch said something, then it all
vanished, and Andrey Yefimitch sank into oblivion for ever.
The
hospital porters came, took him by his arms and legs, and carried him away to
the chapel.
There
he lay on the table, with open eyes, and the moon shed its light upon him at
night. In the morning Sergey Sergeyitch came, prayed piously before the
crucifix, and closed his former chief's eyes.
Next
day Andrey Yefimitch was buried. Mihail Averyanitch and Daryushka were the only
people at the funeral.
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