by Aisha Sultan
There are times when a foggy
malaise can settle into a spot. Even when cracks of sunlight break through this
vapor, a heaviness lingers.
Despite being a reporter -- a
job where we're conditioned to notice and document what's wrong, unfair, tragic
and broken -- I usually enjoy being a happy and positive person. But there has
been so much striking and detailed pain on display in our world recently.
This summer, the gruesome
images of the war in Gaza were soon joined by heartbreaking ones out of
Ferguson. Couple this with the fact that my generation has entered that period
of life when there's a steady stream of devastating personal news among our
peers: Parents (or even children) die, alarming diagnoses are more common, and
friends divorce.
We have been through cycles of
tragedy, death and destruction before. But this prolonged dark period provoked
a deeper anxiety in me. From the personal to the political, the onslaught of
bad news has felt relentless.
It was in the midst of this run
of gloominess that I decided to embark on a happiness project. Not happiness as
in a constant state of chipper: Some of the most outwardly cheerful people I've
known have been deeply unhappy inside. But happiness in the way that
psychologists have defined it: the pleasure of feeling good; engagement in
living a good life with family, friends, work and hobbies; and finding meaning
in being able to use our strengths toward a greater purpose.
Is it possible to increase
those pieces of happiness, thereby becoming happier?
There's an entire body of
research that looks at ways to make people happier in life and work. I sifted
through some of this positive psychology analysis and watched the most popular
TED talk on the subject.
Positive psychology experts
Shawn Achor and Michelle Gielan have written extensively about the habits that
can train our brains to think more positively, which they argue leads to our
brains making us feel happier. Scientists say there's a biochemical process at
work: Positive emotions like love and joy release dopamine and serotonin into
our brains. This biochemical wash helps our brain process new information,
think more quickly and creatively, and connect better with others.
Achor and Gielan suggest that
incorporating these five daily habits for as little as 21 days can make us
happier:
1. Write down three unique and
new things you are grateful for every day. This teaches the brain to scan for
new, good things.
2. Spend a few minutes writing
down in detail the most meaningful moment from your day. This allows you to
relive what made it meaningful for you.
3. Praise or thank a different
person in your social network every day, either by email or phone, for
something specific. This will remind your brain of the support around you.
4. Exercise for 15 minutes a
day. The effects can be as powerful as taking an antidepressant.
5. Take two minutes to meditate
and breathe. Pay attention to your inhale and exhale. It will focus your
attention and lower stress.
I tried to do all five habits
and recorded my efforts daily for 21 days last month. I just kept a log in a
note in my iPhone where I documented results at night. The only ones I did
religiously for three weeks were listing three new gratitudes each day,
describing the most meaningful moment and thanking a person for a specific act
each day. The 15 minutes of exercise was hit or miss. I completely failed on
the meditating. That was very challenging.
About a third of my meaningful
moments were with my children. The rest were through interactions at work, with
friends or with people who were essentially strangers. It was revealing to keep
track of which moments actually moved me during the day.
And, the researchers were
absolutely correct. While I was committed to this task, I became more attuned
to the good things, no matter how small. I spent more minutes in my day
contemplating the positive. I felt more grateful and engaged with people and connected
to the meaning in my life.
A few times, I struggled to
come up with a meaningful moment or a different person to thank. On the days I
was very tired, it felt like a chore. But overall, I think it lifted my spirit
in a way that had been missing for a while.
When things looked especially
bleak, this happiness project was an antidote.
The only defense we have
against the at-times overwhelming and random pain in this life is belligerent
happiness.
