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Welcome
John William Tuohy lives in Washington DC

*** OPPORTUNITIES FOR PLAYWRIGHTS ***



Somerset Community College Fine Arts 4th Annual Short Play Festival
It may be early, but we’re already looking forward to next year’s Annual Short Play Festival, this time with a gruesome twist! Playwright submissions are now OPEN for the “4th Annual Short Play Festival: The Show to Die For! Whether you’re in Louisville or Los Angeles (or elsewhere) if you’ve got a killer short play, we want to see it.

***

Brown Skinned Girls seeks submissions - Beginners, dabblers, scribblers and seasoned writers alike, from all countries, are welcome to submit their plays. There is no entry fee for this opportunity, and given the size of the undertaking, there will be no monetary compensation offered. However, one play, picked by the audience over the two evenings will be presented with the Public’s Award and receive a modest stipend.

***

Mini Plays Review is seeking bold, inventive, and emotionally resonant one-minute plays and monologues for our September 2025 issue themed “Fleeting Connections.” We are looking for one-minute plays and monologues that capture the brief yet powerful moments of human interaction—those sparks of connection that may be gone in an instant but leave a lasting impression.

*** FOR MORE INFORMATION about these and other opportunities see the web site at https://www.nycplaywrights.org ***


*** FIGHTING DRAG QUEENS ~ HAPPY PRIDE MONTH ***

President Donald Trump may not want drag artists on stage at the Kennedy Center, but he couldn’t stop them from booing him in the audience.

As the president attended a performance of Les Misérables at the Washington D.C. venue Wednesday night, drag artists Tara Hoot, Ricky Rosé, Vagenesis, and Mari Con Carne also attended the show donned in formal regalia — and full drag.

“Knowing [Trump] would be there made my attendance more crucial," Carne told The Advocate. "As a drag queen, I wanted it to be known that you can prevent us from performing on your stages, but you can’t erase us from your presence. As an immigrant, I wanted it to be known that we aren’t going anywhere and we will face you head on with every ounce of courage that we have.”

The four mingled in a crowd filled with conservative legislators like Ohio Congressman Jim Jordan and several members of the Trump Administration, including Vice President JD Vance and Attorney General Pam Bondi, who Trump appointed to the board of the Kennedy Center in 2020. First Lady Melania Trump, Second Lady Usha Vance, Health Secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr., adviser Corey Lewandowski, and MAGA pundit Laura Loomer were also in attendance.

When the group entered the theater, the crowd greeted them with cheers and applause — a much warmer reception than that given to Trump and Vance, who were loudly booed once their presence was known.

More...
https://www.advocate.com/exclusives/drag-queens-trump-kennedy-center#rebelltitem2

***

Drag: The Musical follows two drag queens who operate rival nightclubs across the street. When both their clubs end up in jeopardy of closing, they have to fight wig, tooth, and nail for survival.

"Drag: The Musical has everything that a musical could want: big numbers, big wigs, loveable characters, and a lot of heart," our critic raved.

"From the moment we opened our doors at New World Stages, Drag: The Musical has been a celebration of community, self-expression, and unapologetic joy," the producers of the show said in a joint statement. "The love and enthusiasm from audiences, critics, and the incredible talent on and off stage have made this journey unforgettable. While our time in New York is coming to a close, this is just the beginning for Drag. The wigs have been fluffed, the heels have been raised, and the world is ready for more! Stay tuned — because honey, we’re not done yet."

More...
https://www.newyorktheatreguide.com/theatre-news/news/drag-the-musical-to-close-off-broadway

***

Given President Trump’s executive orders that strip protections for the transgender community, it might be tempting to see EgoPo Classic Theatre Company’s production of Mae West’s campy classic, “The Drag,” as yet another political statement, excruciatingly and painfully relevant.
“At this point, any queer art and any trans art is an act of resistance,” said Rebecca Wright, the play’s director.
Even so, “the play is a pretty funny raucous good time,” Wright said.

“Mae West put some really dark scenes in it and certainly we did our utmost not to shy away from those,” she said. But the play concludes with a big party scene, and it has a “fun and joyful, celebrate-y vibe and we’re making a claim on it.”
“We’re making a commitment to celebration despite the world we are in,” Wright said, “and that comes through in the play – like defiant celebration.”

More...
https://billypenn.com/2025/01/26/mae-west-the-drag-egopo-classic-theatre-preview/

***

Donna Personna does not want to be tolerated.
“I am to be loved, adored and respected,” the 72-year-old San Francisco woman declared on a recent morning, seated inside her fifth-story apartment. Personna is preparing to serve as grand marshal at the city’s Pride festival this year and has no patience for anyone’s tolerance: “Fuck that shit … Give me my rights.”

Her Pride mantra – “It ain’t a party. It’s time to act up” – honors the transgender women who, more than 50 years ago, showed her how to live and fight back.

In 1966, three years before the world-famous Stonewall riot in New York, a group of trans women in San Francisco stood up to police inside Gene Compton’s Cafeteria, an all-night restaurant in the Tenderloin neighborhood and popular queer gathering spot. A trans woman fed up with the harassment and abuse is said to have thrown a cup of coffee in an officer’s face, sparking a chaotic riot and unprecedented moment of trans resistance to police violence.

“These ladies took the bullets for us,” said Personna, a performer and activist who went to Compton’s Cafeteria as a teenager in the 1960s and now lives down the street. “Everyone in our community stands on their shoulders.”

More...
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jun/21/stonewall-san-francisco-riot-tenderloin-neighborhood-trans-women

***

With the recent mourning of several drag performers (like local queen DUSH, and nationally beloved Jiggly Caliente and The Vivienne) and the attacks on drag in more conservative areas across the world, it’s no surprise that At the Wake of a Dead Drag Queen hits hard.

That’s not to say it’s all a cry-fest; far from it. There are certainly just as many laughs as tears. In fact, while the ending is definitely gut-wrenching, the Story Theatre production is a celebration of drag, Blackness, and queerness more than anything else.

From the beginning, you know Courtney Berringers/Anthony Knighton (Terry Guest, who also wrote the play) is going to die. Obviously it’s in the title, but it’s also stated right off the bat by Courtney. The script doesn’t hide what Courtney dies of either (as someone who is exhausted by HIV/AIDS being used for shock value, I appreciated). The tearjerker twist of At the Wake of a Dead Drag Queen isn’t “Oh my God, she was dying of AIDS the whole time!” but rather, it’s knowing she will die, not liking her very much at first, falling in love with her complexity and potential, then watching that light get snuffed out young by an illness historically rife with inequity. At a time when federal funding for HIV and AIDS research and resources are being cut, it’s clear that while the play takes place in 2004 (and was first produced by Story Theatre in 2019), it’s just as relevant today.  

More...
https://chicagoreader.com/performing-arts/theater/theater-review/at-the-wake-of-a-dead-drag-queen-story-theatre/

***

What was supposed to be a joyful night of queer celebration turned into a moment of surreal disruption on May 2 when P Town Bar, a beloved LGBTQ establishment in Pittsburgh, was “raided” by approximately 20 Pennsylvania State Police officers and undercover agents during a drag event hosted by local drag icon Indica and featuring legendary guest Amanda Lepore.

The event, Another Party Pittsburgh, had just hit its stride when the police entered around 11:30 p.m., mid-performance, as drag artist Blade Matthews took the stage. And not just with any number: Blade was in the middle of a theatrical rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody. With the room captivated and the song in full swing, law enforcement had to stand back and wait.

“Blade literally chose the longest song ever and made the cops wait,” said one attendee. “It was iconic.”

Once the performance wrapped, officers instructed patrons and performers to exit the venue. According to attendees, the police offered little explanation beyond calling it a “compliance check,” but the scale and timing of the action left many shaken and deeply skeptical.

“It was an LCB raid taken to the extreme,” Indica told QBurgh. “We waited 30 minutes outside for them to inspect every crevice.” The officers in witness videos appear to be from the Pennsylvania State Police Bureau of Liquor Control Enforcement, not the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board.

In true drag fashion, Indica pivoted to performance-as-resistance. With the crowd displaced and the venue swarmed with law enforcement, she took to the street for an a cappella rendition of “Pink Pony Club.” The crowd joined in, turning the sidewalk into a spontaneous moment of queer solidarity.

More...
https://epgn.com/2025/05/05/p-town-bar-raided-during-queer-event-featuring-amanda-lepore/

***

Under the leadership of chief William H. Parker, who took over in 1950, LAPD arrests for homosexuality increased by more than 85%. A routine form of harrassment included demanding to see the identifications of patrons in known and rumored LGBTQ hangouts. If their outward presentation didn't match the gender on their ID, they would be arrested under the pretense of "sex perversion." Such a form of harrassment occured at Cooper Do-nuts one night in May 1959 — according to author John Rechy, who was present in the café that night and provides one of the only original accounts of the incident in his 1963 novel City of Night, two cops entered Cooper Do-nuts and singled out five individuals. Rechy describes this form of arrest: "They interrogate you, fingerprint you without booking you: an illegal L.A. cop-tactic to scare you from hanging around."

The five patrons — two drag queens, two male sex workers, and one gay man — were led outside to be arrested following the ID checks, and when the officers attempted to shove all five into the same police car, one of the men began to protest being crammed into the packed car. His protest spurred the crowd of onlooking fellow patrons into action, and together a group of lesbians, transgender women, drag queens, and gay men rushed into the streets and began to pelt the officers with donuts, paper plates, coffee cups, and anything else they could get their hands on. The cops fled to call for reinforcements without making the arrests, and the LGBTQ crowd present celebrated the victory and vented their frustrations at yet another intrusion upon their rights. As Rechy puts it, "...the street was bustling with disobedience. Gay people danced about the cars."

More...
https://one.usc.edu/story/cooper-do-nuts

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* FREE THEATER IN NYC ***

 ** FREE THEATER IN NYC ***


TIGER TAIL
by Tennesee Williams
Produced by Shakespeare Downtown
Audience members will be able to get free tickets the day of the performance starting at 6:00 pm at Castle Clinton National Monument located at The Battery.
[http://address=Battery%20Park%20Viaduct,%20New%20York,%20NY%2010004,%20United%20States&auid=3871846077770729621&ll=40.703478,-74.016806&lsp=9902&q=Castle%20Clinton%20National%20Monument]https://maps.apple.com/

Performances will start at 6:30 pm and finish at 8:30 pm.
There will be no intermission.
The play will run for two more days: June 21 & 22
https://www.shakespearedowntown.org/tickets.html


*** ANOTHER UNSOLICITED TESTIMONIAL ***

"Thanks so much to NYC Playwrights! My short play 'Our Daily Bread' was published last month by Fresh Words, an international literary magazine, in its Hello Godot issue, and this week Mini Plays Review, an international journal of short plays and monologues, published another of my plays, "The Cradle's Rocking."

So grateful for all that you do for playwrights and the theater community! Mark Rosati (Instagram @marksrosati, Bluesky @msrosati.bsky.social)

Thanks for sharing Mark! 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟


*** OPPORTUNITIES FOR PLAYWRIGHTS ***

Things that go bump in the night? Ghost, goblins, and monsters? Nightmares of showing up to work naked? What puts the SCARE in you? We are seeking plays that have an element – or a heaping cup – of fear. Scare us or force us to laugh till we die with horror plays and musicals, including a great spoof. Plays must be BOO–themed, which means scary, eerie, or horrifying in some way.

Plays must have a running time of 15 minutes or less (which roughly translates to 15 pages) to qualify for the weekly contest. Each week a winner – selected by audience vote – receives the honor of “Best of the Week” and $100 prize.

***

We at UP Theater Company believe that World Premieres are overrated. We know that all new plays that receive production runs of three weeks or less are just about ready to open by the time they close. That’s why we are putting out a call for new plays that have had a single production of three weeks or fewer.

***

The Science Playwriting Competition brings science and theatre together for the dissemination of scientific knowledge through an intriguing lens — providing inspiration for plays that lead to exciting ways of learning about science. Rooted in artistic expression, the best science plays can be exceptional works of art that aesthetically convey scientific concepts, potentially resulting in further explorations in both disciplines. In this way, science and theatre may learn from each other, through their common goals of investigating and gaining an understanding of the significance of science and how the world works.

*** FOR MORE INFORMATION about these and other opportunities see the web site at https://www.nycplaywrights.org ***


*** LES MISERABLES ***

The U.S. Army Chorus certainly made an impression after they sang "Do You Hear the People Sing?" from the musical Les Misérables at the Governors Ball—and it seemingly went right over MAGA's heads.

The song, a standard from a musical that is at its heart about social injustice, includes lyrics like “Will you join in our crusade? // Will you be strong and stand with me?” as it explores the theme of an oppressed working class rising up against a despotic regime.

But that seemed to go completely over the head of Dan Scavino, the White House Deputy Chief of Staff, who said it was a "great honor to attend" the event.

President Donald Trump—who, along with billionaire Elon Musk, is actively eroding checks and balances throughout the government—included the anthem in his 2016 and 2024 campaign events, but many on social media have pointed out the irony of his administration continuing to support its message now that he’s returned to office.

More...
https://www.comicsands.com/army-chorus-les-mis

***

VP JD Vance, who was booed alongside second lady Usha Vance while attending a symphony at the Kennedy Center in March, proudly touted his facetious misreading of the musical, writing on social media: “About to see Les Miserables with POTUS at the Kennedy Center. Me to Usha: so what’s this about? A barber who kills people? Usha; [hysterical laughter].” In a follow-up tweet explaining his wildly obvious joke, he added, “That’s apparently a different thing called Sweeney Todd.”

Trump allegedly knows a lot more about the megamusical, which, like most of his favorite pop-cultural touchstones, hails from the 1980s. When announcing his third presidential run in 2022, he walked onstage to the protest anthem “Do You Hear the People Sing?”—a song that the US Army Chorus also performed at the 2025 White House Governors Ball. Meanwhile, the Obamas once bonded over their distaste for the show.

More...
https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/story/shocker-donald-trump-jd-vance-les-miserables-kennedy-center

***

Michelle and Barack Obama review Les Miserables

We sat side by side in the theater, both of us worn out after a long day of work. The curtain went up and the singing began, giving us a gray, gloomy version of Paris. I don't know if it was my mood or whether it was just Les Misérables itself, but I spent the next hour feeling helplessly pounded by French misery. Grunts and chains. Poverty and rape. Injustice and oppression. Millions of people around the world had fallen in love with this musical, but I squirmed in my seat, trying to rise above the inexplicable torment I felt every time the melody repeated.

When the lights went up for intermission, I stole a glance at Barack.

He was slumped down, with his right elbow on the armrest and index finger resting on his forehead, his expression unreadable.

"What'd you think?" I said.

He gave me a sideways look. "Horrible, right?" I laughed, relieved that he felt the same way.
Barack sat up in his seat. "What if we got out of here?" he said. "We could just leave."

Shared on X/Twitter - https://archive.ph/ioqPt

***

Globally, it’s the most famous French musical. One hundred and thirty million people have seen Jean Valjean face off against Javert, in 22 languages; its downtrodden characters have taken to the barricades in London’s West End nearly continuously since 1985.

Everyone knows “Les Misérables.” Everyone — except the French.

In a strange twist of fate, “Les Miz,” an adaptation of Victor Hugo’s sweeping novel about justice, poverty and the social reality of 19th-century France, has never been popular in the country of its birth. Despite being created by two Frenchmen, the composer Claude-Michel Schönberg and the lyricist Alain Boublil, it has only been performed in Paris twice since the 1980s. The 2012 film adaptation, starring Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway, also performed poorly at the French box office.

Now a major new stage production, set to open at the Théâtre du Châtelet in Paris on Wednesday, aims to make “Les Misérables” a star at home, too — with the enthusiastic assent of its creators.

More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/19/theater/les-miserables-paris.html

***

It was, however, Francis King in the Sunday Telegraph who pithily summarised what many of us felt, when he described the show as "a lurid Victorian melodrama produced with Victorian lavishness". And that's exactly why it has run so long. Victor Hugo's novel wrestles with all kinds of big themes: social injustice, redemption through love, the power of providence. On stage all this is boiled down to the triumph of a good man, Jean Valjean, over the cop who relentlessly pursues him. Essentially, it's The Fugitive with songs. And any notion that the show provides a searching account of the social oppression that led to the 1832 uprisings was scotched by a poll taken during the Broadway run, when a majority of theatregoers said they thought it all took place during the French revolution.

Les Mis succeeds because it is spectacular Victorian melodrama. Nothing wrong with that. What irked some of us back in 1985 was the claim by the original directors, Trevor Nunn and John Caird, that we were watching a piece of High Seriousness that required the resources of the RSC to stage. You could also argue, as I would, that Les Mis, by ditching spoken dialogue in favour of a through-composed score, led the musical down a false trail: away from the fun of wit, satire and romance towards the pomposities of pop-opera. But the fact is that audiences love Les Mis. What I find intriguing is that we think we live in a very cool, smart, cynical age. Yet, when the chips are down, what we really crave is a contest of good and evil, and lashings of spectacle. Just, in fact, like our Victorian ancestors. Plus ça change, plus c'est la meme show.

More...
https://www.theguardian.com/stage/theatreblog/2010/sep/21/les-miserables-25-year-anniversary

***

THERE WERE PEOPLE who told me ''Les Miserables'' was going to be wonderful and people who told me it was going to be terrible. The truth - or my reactions, at least - turned out to lie somewhere in the middle. If the lyrics were often little more than doggerel, and if the score often seemed the musical equivalent of doggerel, there were compensations in Colm Wilkinson's rightly acclaimed Jean Valjean, in a few of the supporting performances, in the scenery and lighting, and, every now and then, in a genuinely striking dramatic effect. But none of it added up to Victor Hugo.

How could it have done? The novel is vast and sprawling and dense with detail; any dramatization, however skillful, is bound to sacrifice an enormous amount, and there are important episodes - the Waterloo chapters in particular, which the musical understandably skips - that it is very hard to imagine being successfully transferred to the stage.

If you formed your idea of ''Les Miserables'' solely on the basis of the Royal Shakespeare version, or if you knew of Victor Hugo only by hearsay, the aspect of the book for which you would probably be least prepared is its originality. Hugo's reputation today tends to be that of a rather obvious rhetorician, a master of eloquent cliches. But start reading him and you will quickly find yourself confronted by the workings of a bold and unconstrained intelligence.

More...
https://www.nytimes.com/1987/04/19/theater/new-york-les-miserables-distinctive-stirring-version-still-victor-hugo-s.html

***

Boublil and Schonberg's international career started with their musical adaptation of Hugo's Les Miserables. Like La Revolution Francaise, Les Miserables started as a concept album released in June 1980. A few months later, Robert Hossein directed the stage version at the Palais des Sports. The revised English version, produced by Cameron Mackintosh and directed by Trevor Nunn and John Caird of the Royal Shakespeare Company, opened in London on Oct. 8, 1985 and on Broadway Mar. 12, 1987 with Colm Wilkinson and Frances Ruffelle in both productions. The rest is history. The musical has been seen by more than 40 million people worldwide.

More...
https://playbill.com/article/for-claude-michel-schonberg-its-cest-la-guerre-com-101103

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WHAT CONSTITUTES A GOOD ESSAY?

 

                              CHAPTER II.

 

WHAT CONSTITUTES A GOOD ESSAY?

 

 

Prose has a bad name. We think of it and speak of it as including

everything in language that is _not_ poetry. In former times art

in literature meant poetry,--or, at a stretch, it included in addition

only oratory.

 

The beginning of art in the use of _unmeasured_ language (if we

may use that term to designate language that does not have the metrical

form) was undoubtedly oratory,--the impassioned appeal of a speaker to

his fellow men. The language was rhythmical, but not measured, that

is, not susceptible of division into lines, corresponding to bars of

music; and the element of beauty was distinctly subordinate to the

elements of nobility and truth. In modern times poetry has come to be

more and more the mere aggregation of images of beauty, without much

reference to the intellectual, and still less to the ethical; and prose

has been the recognized medium for the intellectual and the moral.

 

Of course, modern times have not given us any oratory superior to

that of Demosthenes and Cicero; nor any plain statement of historical

fact superior to that of Herodotus, Thucydides, or Tacitus. But art

in conversational prose, reduced to writing and made literature,

may fairly be said to date from the essayists of Queen Anne’s

time--Addison, Swift, Goldsmith, and their fellows; and it was brought

to perfection by Lamb, De Quincey, Macaulay, Thackeray, Irving, and

others of their day.

 

In most of this prose we find a new element--humour. The original,

characteristic, typical essay is whimsical, sympathetic, kindly,

amusing, suggestive, and close to reality. The impassioned appeal of

oratory has been adapted to the requirements of reading prose by such

writers as De Quincey and Macaulay; but the humorous essay has been by

far the more popular.

 

And what is humour? It would be hard to say that it is either beauty,

nobility, or truth. The fact is poetry, with its lofty atmosphere,

rarefied, artificial, and emotional, is in danger of becoming morbid,

unhealthy, and impractical. Humour is the sanitary sea salt that

purifies and saves. No one with a sense of humour can get very far

away from elemental and obvious facts. Humour is the corrective,

the freshener, the health-giver. Its danger is the trivial, the

commonplace, and the inconsequent.

 

The primary object of prose is to represent the truth, but in so far

as prose is true literature, it must make its appeal to the emotions.

The humorous essay must make us feel healthier and more sprightly,

the impassioned oratorical picture must fire us with desires and

inspire us with courage of a practical and specific kind. Mere

logical demonstration, or argumentative appeal, are not in themselves

literature because their appeal is not emotional, and so not a part

of the vibrating electric fluid of humanity; and beauty plays the

subordinate part of furnishing suggestive and illustrative images for

the illumination of what is called “the style.”

 

Gradually prose has absorbed all the powers and useful qualities of

poetry not inconsistent with its practical and unartificial character.

So the characteristics of a good prose style are in many respects not

unlike the characteristics of a good poetic style.

 

First, good prose should be rhythmical and musical, though never

measured. As prose is never to be sung, the artificial characteristics

of music should never be present in any degree; but as poetry in its

more highly developed forms has lost its qualities of simple melody

and attained characteristics of a more beautiful harmony, so prose,

starting with mere absence of roughness and harshness of sound,

gradually has attained to something very near akin to the musical

harmony of the more refined poetry. Almost the only difference lies

in the presence or absence of measure; but this forms a clear dividing

line between poetry (reaching down from above) and prose (rising up

from below).

 

Second, the more suggestive prose is, the better it is. It is true

that images should not be used merely for their own sake, as they may

be in poetry; but their possibilities in the way of illustration and

illumination is infinite, and it is this office that they perform in

the highest forms of poetry. To paraphrase Browning, it enables the

genius to express “thoughts hardly to be packed into a narrow” word.

And so that whole side of life that cannot possibly be expressed in

the definite formulæ of science finds its body and incarnation in

literature.

 

Third, good prose will never be very far from easily perceived facts

and realities of life. The saving salt of humour will prevent wandering

very far; and this same humour will make reading easier, and will

induce that relaxation of labour-strained faculties which alone permits

the exercise and enjoyment of our higher powers. We shall never get

into heaven if we are forever working, and humour causes us to cease

work and lie free and open for the inspiration from above.

 

It would be hard to find either nobility, truth, or beauty as

distinguishing characteristics in the following letter of Charles

Lamb’s; but it is certain that it is admirable prose. If it does not

give us that which we seek, it most certainly puts us into the mood in

which we are most likely to find it in other and loftier writers:

 

“March 9, 1822.

 

“Dear Coleridge--It gives me great satisfaction to hear that the pig

turned out so well: they are interesting creatures at a certain age.

What a pity that such buds should blow out into the maturity of rank

bacon! You had all some of the crackling and brain sauce. Did you

remember to rub it with butter, and gently dredge it a little, just

before the crisis? Did the eyes come away kindly, with no Œdipean

avulsion? Was the crackling the colour of ripe pomegranate? Had you no

complement of boiled neck of mutton before it, to blunt the edge of

delicate desire. Did you flesh maiden teeth in it?

 

“Not that I sent the pig, or can form the remotest guess what part Owen

could play in the business. I never knew him give anything away in his

life. He would not begin with strangers. I suspect the pig after all

was meant for me; but at the unlucky juncture of time being absent,

the present somehow went round to Highgate. To confess an honest

truth, a pig is one of those things I could never think of sending

away. Teal, widgeons, snipes, barn-door fowls, ducks, geese--your tame

villatic things--Welsh mutton, collars of brawn, sturgeon, fresh or

pickled; your potted char, Swiss cheeses, French pies, early grapes,

muscadines, I impart as freely unto my friends as to myself. They are

but self-extended; but pardon me if I stop somewhere. Where the fine

feeling of benevolence giveth a higher smack than the sensual rarity,

there my friends (or any good man) may command me; but pigs are pigs,

and I myself therein am nearest to myself. Nay, I should think it an

affront, an undervaluing done to Nature who bestowed such a boon upon

me, if in a churlish mood I parted with the precious gift. One of the

bitterest pangs of remorse I ever felt was when a child--when my kind

old aunt had strained her pocket-strings to bestow a sixpenny whole

plum-cake upon me. In my way home through the Borough I met a venerable

old man, not a mendicant, but thereabouts; a look-beggar, not a verbal

petitionist; and in the coxcombry of taught charity, I gave away the

cake to him. I walked on a little in all the pride of an Evangelical

peacock, when of a sudden my old aunt’s kindness crossed me; the sum it

was to her; the pleasure that she had a right to expect that I--not the

old impostor--should take in eating her cake--the ingratitude by which,

under the colour of a Christian virtue, I had frustrated her cherished

purpose. I sobbed, wept, and took it to heart so grievously, that I

think I never suffered the like; and I was right. It was a piece of

unfeeling hypocrisy, and it proved a lesson to me ever after. The cake

has long been masticated, consigned to the dunghill with the ashes of

that unseasonable pauper.

 

“But when Providence, who is better to us all than our aunts, gives me

a pig, remembering my temptation and my fall, I shall endeavour to act

towards it more in the spirit of the donor’s purpose.

 

“Yours (short of pig) to command in everything,

 

                                                      C. L.”

 

When we have finished reading this, we wonder if we have not mistaken

our standards of life; if the senses are not as truly divine as our

dreams, and certainly far more within the reach of our realization.

We think, we feel happy, we are certainly no worse. Whatever strange

thing this humour may have done to us, we are more truly _men_ for

having experienced it.

 

And it is this that prose can do that poetry, even of the best, can

never accomplish.