Change
What challenges us changes us
in often small and almost unnoticeable ways,
but it does change us.
Why should I wish to see God better than this day?
Why
should I wish to see God better than this day?
I see
something of God each hour of the twenty-four, and each moment then,
In the
faces of men and women I see God, and in my own face in the glass;
I find
letters from God dropped in the street, and every one is signed by God's name,
And I
leave them where they are,
for I
know that others will punctually come forever and ever.
Francis Scott Key
I took this from the car on the way home from midnight mass, it's a terrible picture but that's not the point. This tiny little park at the north end of the Key Bridge in Georgetown. The wooden home of Francis Scott Key stood here for 150 years. The GSA, the federal government took over the land and carefully marked each piece of the house, dismantled it, put it in crates...and then lost it. They lost Francis Scott Key's house.
how many times you get up.
“It does not matter
how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get up." -Vince
Lombardi
Overcoming
“Although the world
is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.”
Helen Keller
I am here to live out loud.
“If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an
artist, will answer you: I am here to live out loud.” Émile Zola
If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate.
“If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate.
Give in to it.
There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about
to be. We are not wise, and not very often kind. And much can never be
redeemed. Still life has some possibility left.
Perhaps this is its way of fighting back, that sometimes
something happened better than all the riches or power in the world. It could
be anything, but very likely you notice it in the instant when love begins.
Anyway, that’s often the case.
Anyway, whatever it
is, don’t be afraid of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb.”
Mary Oliver
We're all fair game to writers
“If you walk across my camera I will flash the world your
story.” Woody Guthrie
John Steinbeck
“A sad soul can kill you quicker, far quicker, than a germ.”
John Steinbeck
One of the saddest days of my life was when I finished
reading all of John Steinbeck’s work. It was like saying goodbye to a good, humorous
friend who was so full of life. I still read Travels with Charlie ever couple
of years and its still a great book with every read.
Don't worry, be happy
I have decided to be a happy
person.
That does not mean that I will be happy under a specific set of
circumstances.
It does mean that I have elected to
live my life with a specific set of attitudes that create happiness.
Word a day
Juggernaut
(JUG-uhr-not) 1. Anything requiring
blind sacrifice. 2. A massive relentless force, person, institution, etc. that
crushes everything in its path. From Hindi jagannath (one of the titles
Krishna, a Hindu god, has), from Sanskrit jagannath, from jagat (world) + nath
(lord). A procession of Jagannath takes place each year at Puri, India.
Devotees pull a huge cart carrying the deity. Some have been accidentally
crushed under the wheels (or are said to have thrown themselves under them).
Uncovering Happiness: Four Questions that Can Transform Your Life
By Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.
When it comes to our
self-critical thinking, Byron Katie has created a brilliant set of four
questions to free us from our negative depressive minds. For example, if you
say, “I’m such leavesinhandcrpd an idiot,” we ask 1) Is it true? 2) Is it
absolutely true? 3) What happens when you believe that thought? and 4) Who
would you be without that thought? The effect of this is that it objectifies
the self-judgment, gives us freedom from it and opens us up to a sense of
freedom that’s there. They can be really effective.
When it comes to overcoming
longstanding emotional struggles we have to not only get space from the
self-critical mind, but also encourage the positive beliefs about ourselves
that the critical mind has buried. In one part of Uncovering Happiness:
Overcoming Depression with Mindfulness and Self-Compassion I share the
following four questions to work with in order to open us up to possibility,
install these positive beliefs a bit more and even encourage positive
neuroplasticity. In doing this we can become more confident in ourselves and
ultimately more resilient (and a bit happier).
Four
Questions for Uncovering Happiness
From time to time, you might
notice a nourishing thought arise, such as “I’m good enough,” “Life is fine as
it is,” “I’m worthy of love,” or “What a beautiful moment.” We can be on the
lookout for these thoughts and fan the flame with a play on these same
questions:
1.“Is it true?” Because of the
strength of our inner critics, our minds are often quick to dismiss positive
thoughts, so you may notice a quick “No, it’s not true. I’m not really
beautiful, worthy of love, good enough [and so on] . . .”
2.“Is it possible that it’s
true?” Here is where we open the door a bit and ask if there is any possibility
that it’s true, no matter how small our minds may say it is. The answer
inevitably here is “Yes, I guess there is a possibility.”
3.“If you step into that
possibility for a moment, how does that make you feel?” Two things can happen
here. You may find that fear arises: the fear of the unknown. This can be an
opportunity for self-compassion. What would life be like if I stepped into this
light? It reminds me of a poem by spiritual author and lecturer Marianne
Williamson that starts, “Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, our
deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” Remind yourself that it
doesn’t serve you or the world to be in your small self. However, you might
also experience a positive emotion such as joy, contentment, or confidence.
4.“Can I allow myself to linger
in this feeling for a few moments?” When we allow ourselves to savor what’s
good, our “good-feeling” neurons fire together. And as psychologist Donald Hebb
put it memorably, “Neurons that fire together wire together,” promoting
resiliency in the future.
What would the days, weeks and
months ahead be like if you were more open to this possibility? Try this on
right now with any potential positive belief about yourself and see what you
notice.
The fact is, the belief we have
in our negative thinking is one of our worst habits as a human species and
often times doesn’t serve us. The positive belief in ourselves could go a long
way and my hope is that Uncovering Happiness can help in awakening what I call
our “Natural Anti-Depressants” and inspire the hope that having had emotional
struggles in the past doesn’t mean you need to suffer from them in the same way
in the future. There are specific seeds within each and every one of us that if
we understand and water, we can literally create a more resilient and joyful
life.
Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. is
author of the upcoming book Uncovering Happiness: Overcoming Depression with
Mindfulness and Self-Compassion, The Now Effect, co-author of A
Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook, Foreword by Jon Kabat-Zinn, author
of Mindfulness Meditations for the Anxious Traveler: Quick Exercises to Calm
Your Mind, the premier eCourse Basics of Mindfulness Meditation: A 28 Day
Program, the Mindful Solutions audio series, and the Mindfulness at Work™
program currently being adopted in multiple multinational corporations. Join
The Now Effect Community for free Daily Now Moments and a Weekly Newsletter.
Dr. Goldstein is a clinical psychologist in private practice in West Los
Angeles.
Here are my general orders for getting through bad times;
Stay positive.
This is the mantra for bad times “This too shall pass” not
even the worst storm lasts forever.
Stay positive.
Hold over making any big decision in a bad time, you may
regret it later.
Stay positive.
Talk to God, tell him what’s going on and ask for help (You
should probably do this first)
and always remember, laugh and have fun, life is short, create happy memories
Last Night
Mary and I attended a fundraiser last night for "My Sister Place" a shelter for battered women and then grabbed a late dinner at the Tabbard Inn one of our favorite places in the city.
http://tabardinn.com/
http://www.mysistersplacedc.org/
I learn a new word once a week
Impedimenta
(im-ped-uh-MEN-tuh) Baggage, supplies,
or equipment related to an activity or expedition, especially when regarded as
slowing one's progress. From Latin, plural of impedimentum, from impedire (to
impede), from im-/in- (in) + ped- (foot). Ultimately from the Indo-European
root ped- (foot) which also gave us pedal, podium, octopus, impeach, antipodal,
expediency, peccadillo (alluding to a stumble or fall), impeccable, and
peccavi.
Spleen 1. An
abdominal organ serving to clean blood. 2. Bad temper. From French esplen, from
Latin splen, from Greek splen. Earliest documented use: 1300. In earlier times
it was believed that four humors controlled human behavior and an imbalance
resulted in disease. According to this thinking, an excess of black bile
secreted by the spleen resulted in melancholy or ill humor. Also, spleen was
considered to be the seat of emotions. To vent one's spleen was to vent one's
ange
Mansuetude
(MAN-swi-tood, -tyood) Gentleness;
meekness. From Latin mansuescere (to make tame: to accustom to handling), from
manus (hand) + suescere (to become accustomed). Ultimately from the
Indo-European root man- (hand), which is also the source of manual, manage,
maintain, manicure, maneuver, manufacture, manuscript, command, manque,
amanuensis, legerdemain, and mortmain. Earliest documented use: 1390.
Finish whatever you're writing
Can
anything be sadder than work left unfinished? Yes, work never begun. –
Christina Rossetti, poet (1830-1894)
..................and life goes on
Century-old publishing house
goes to auction
By Arthur Hirsch, The Baltimore
Sun
The West Baltimore home of a defunct
century-old book publisher that once commanded offices in Chicago and San
Francisco will go on the auction block Wednesday — a casualty of Hurricane
Katrina, technological change and even the "For Dummies"
instructional book series.
What remains of the H.M. Rowe
Co. — named for a man who was killed by his son in 1926 — straddles two
addresses on North Gilmor Street in Harlem Park. Two three-story buildings
joined together contain offices that were active with final orders only weeks
ago, and a warehouse with a conveyor belt running from the basement to the
third floor.
In July, the owner put the
business up for sale, but there were no takers.
"Unfortunately for us, it
was just dying," said Gail Willie, who inherited the business when her
father, William E Steigleman Jr., died in 1999. The original owner, H.M. Rowe,
was married to her great aunt, the former Jeannette Steigleman, who was in the
room of the house when her husband was attacked on that May evening 88 years
ago.
Willie, 60, who lives on a farm
in Howard County, has been a nurse her entire professional life and now works
at a school in Montgomery County. She left the publisher's day-to-day operation
to a company manager who has been there for decades, but said she feels the
loss of the business that's been in her family for about 90 years.
"It's been a grieving
process to let go of a business that you've had so long," she said.
Three employees remained at the
end, from a high of 15 during Willie's time as owner. As business declined,
Willie said, new people were not brought in to replace older employees who
left.
The company specialized in
books sold to business and community colleges and vocational high schools to
teach skills such as typing, shorthand, filing and business math. When
computers arrived, the company tried to keep pace with instructional books on
Windows and Mac applications.
The company suffered a serious
blow in 2005 when Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf Coast, forcing many of the
schools that were customers to shut down. Many never reopened. The company did
business across the country, but Willie estimated that about 60 percent of
their customers were in the South.
"We've been struggling
ever since '05," she said.
The damage was compounded by
technology, which made much of Rowe's material more easily available by
download. Meanwhile, a series of instructional books with a catchy title
covering everything from banjo playing to beekeeping grew more and more
popular.
"When the 'Dummies' books
came out — you can just learn everything from them," Willie said. "In
hindsight, we should have diversified."
An only child, she was kept
distant from the business as a young person, never groomed to take on a
management role. She was also kept in the dark about how H.M. Rowe died.
"As a child, I always
heard about 'the accident,'" she said. "It wasn't until I was a young
woman in my 20s that I heard about the murder. I had no idea."
Harry M. Rowe, who once served
as president of a young American Automobile Association, had co-founded the
Sadler-Rowe Co. in 1898 to publish accounting textbooks. In 1907, Warren Sadler
decided to withdraw from the business, selling his share to Rowe, who gave the
enterprise his name a few years later when Sadler died.
On the evening of May 3, 1926,
Rowe was in the library of the family home on Johnnycake Road near Catonsville
with his wife, Willie's great aunt Jeannette, and his teenage daughter from a
previous marriage. According to a Baltimore Sun account, based on Jeannette
Rowe's description, Rowe's 38-year-old son burst into the room and "began
beating his father in the head with a club."
Harry M. Rowe Jr. was Rowe's
son from the first of his three marriages. The girl was from his second
marriage. Willie's great aunt was his third wife, with whom he had no children.
Rowe, who was in his mid 60s,
died six days later at St. Agnes Hospital. His wife and daughter also were
injured in the attack but recovered. The police pursuit of the son ended May
15, when his body was found in the Severn River in Annapolis. According to a
Sun account, police said he had apparently committed suicide.
Articles from the time said
that about two years earlier, Rowe had fired his son from his job as
secretary-treasurer of Carozza-Rowe Construction Co. when he was president.
The publishing business passed
to Willie's great aunt, then to her grandfather, to her father, then to her.
Willie said her son, the older of her two children, might have taken over,
"but there's nothing to take over."
There are the two connected
buildings near Harlem Park Middle School, a neighborhood of many boarded-up
rowhouses. The place served as the company's home after its building on West
German Street was destroyed during the Great Baltimore Fire of 1904. Property
records date the buildings to 1910.
Auctioneer Charles Billig of
A.J. Billig & Co. said two bidders have registered so far. He was asked if
he thought the building — in fine shape on the outside, but which needs updates
and water damage repairs inside — would be a tough sell.
"Not sure. I think we've
got it attractively priced," he said.
Willie said she'll attend the
auction to see how it goes.
"I'll be there
crying," she said. "I never wanted this to happen on my watch, but
it's happened."
How wonderful is this?
Elijah Moment: Campaign
Promotes Random Acts of Kindness
By Charlene Aaron
The holidays are a time for
giving and sharing. That's why Rabbi Daniel Cohen and Pastor Todd Novotny of
Noroton Community Church in Darien, Connecticut, are heading up what they're
calling the Elijah Moment Campaign.
The campaign is named after the
biblical prophet Elijah. Cohen and Novotny say a seemingly minor act of generosity can change a life and that every
person can be an Elijah.
The
campaign encourages people to think about ways to do random acts of kindness
with just a moment's notice and can involve anything from sharing a kind word
to paying it forward at a local coffee shop or restaurant.
The campaign began on November
23 and ends on January 1. Participants are encouraged to post their Elijah
Moment on Facebook or tweet with the hashtag #elijahmoment to inspire others to
do the same.
CBN News spoke with Rabbi Cohen
about his hope that these moments of generosity will happen all across the
country and spread beyond the holiday season.
Get knocked down a thousand times, get back up a thousand and one
CLASS OF 2014 SUCCESS STORIES:
OVERCOMING ADVERSITY
Bowling Green State University
/ News / 2014 / December / Class of 2014 Success Stories: Overcoming Adversity
A story of courage, success and
hope
By: Jacquie Nelson
He is quick with a smile, has
the gift of gab and has never met a stranger.
His story began 23 years ago in
the small Ohio town of St. Marys. Josh King entered the world two weeks late
and pronounced clinically dead of meconium aspiration (the ingestion of fecal
matter into the lungs). The whirlwind that followed included lifesaving acts by
three doctors and six nurses that brought him back to life, followed by weeks
in an incubator at Children’s Hospital in Dayton, Ohio, and a lifetime of
challenges ahead. King’s ordeal left him physically disabled with a mild form
of cerebral palsy and faced with an array of learning disabilities.
Now? He is days away from
achieving a life-long goal.
The first-generation college
student will soon be graduating from Bowling Green State University with a
bachelor’s degree in sport management. King never dreamed of going to college,
let alone graduating, but this December he will have achieved what many thought
was an impossible feat.
Always interested in sports,
King began working in his high school’s equipment room and although he dreamed
of college, he had never considered it an option. Instead, he enrolled at a
branch of Wright State University in his hometown to work toward becoming a
police officer.
Continuing his work at the
equipment room, he eventually realized it was a career in sport management that
he wished to explore. He discovered the program at BGSU, one of the best in the
country, so he applied and was accepted.
“I was given the opportunity to
go to college, even given my challenges.” King said. “BGSU gave me this chance
– I was still able to go to college!”
Over the course of his career
at BGSU, King has taken advantage of all the programs and services that the
University has to offer. He has a record 338 visits to the Learning Commons
where he received much-needed tutoring; his exams were taken at Disability
Services on campus where each was read aloud to him. In addition, he
participated in a practicum with Brian Daniels in the football equipment room
and Scott Jess with the baseball and hockey programs and was a member of the
Sport Management Alliance Group for a year. All of this while managing to keep
up his grade point average (three times on the dean’s list) and completing his
internship in the athletics equipment room at Wilmington College on Nov. 23.
“Josh is a wonderful student to
have in our program,”said Dr. Ray Schneider, sport management. “He is extremely
passionate and engaged in our class material.”.
King credits his family,
friends, mentors and heroes for providing support necessary to achieve this
goal and realize his dream. Tragically, as he was completing his summer semester
and fall internship, he lost two of his three heroes in a three-month span –
his grandfather, who had been ill, and his father, who passed away suddenly of
a heart attack. Through all this adversity, he continued his internship at
Wilmington College so he would graduate on time, noting, “I had to complete my
degree for both my father and grandfather, and I just took it one day at a
time.”
In his limited free time, King
enjoys football, playing video games, spending time with family and friends and
all Pittsburgh sports.
“I have known Josh King since
my arrival on campus three years ago,” said Mark Nelson, director of the
Learning Commons. “He has taken full advantage of our services within the
Learning Commons to the tune of 338 total visits. Over the past three years we
have enjoyed sharing our love of sports, and I have enjoyed watching Josh grow
and mature as he pursues his dream of becoming an equipment manager."
What is after graduation for
King? A career as an equipment manager, of course, and he is approaching that
search with just as much fervor as he did his collegiate career. To date, King
has delivered his resume to all Division I, II and III universities, all major
league baseball and all national football teams. King is approaching this next
step of the journey as he has his life to this point. “Wherever I have to go
(for my career) is where I have to go.”
King knows that life is a
journey, and that all face obstacles. Those who know him well agree he has
endured more than his share. Despite this, Josh King is a friendly, generous,
hardworking, giving human being who is passionate about his career path.
He is also passionate about
those individuals on campus who have mentored him, those heroes who inspired
him, and all those who continue to support him.
Should we measure gross national happiness?
Leslie Nguyenokwu
Move over, GDP. Psychologists
Shigehiro Oishi and Ed Diener say it's time to make room for happiness, the
next big tool for evaluating public policies and social development in the U.S.
Scoff all you like, but after
analyzing dozens of policy-related happiness surveys and studies in a new
report called "Can and Should Happiness Be a Policy Goal?" Oishi and
Diener argue that people's self-reported happiness can help gauge the effectiveness
of a particular policy and promote national well-being. Take, for example,
disability benefits — one survey found that severe disability hurts people's
life satisfaction twice as badly as unemployment. Such psychological insights
into populations, the authors say, could improve how we assess and make good
policies in the future.
Oishi, a psychology professor
at the University of Virginia, believes in measuring what matters — and that
people's happiness ought to be recorded as often as possible, quarterly or even
monthly. Admittedly, "it all boils down to the cost here," he said.
But he compares happiness measures to other regular data collections we
perform, like unemployment and life expectancy.
He and Diener looked at surveys
that measured happiness on several different scales, including Diener's own 1-
to 7-point scale, which asks participants to rank statements such as "If I
could live my life over, I would change almost nothing" and "The
conditions of my life are excellent." Sure, plenty of stuff can affect self-reported
happiness — which is pretty much the most subjective thing you can ask about.
Variables, as the tradesfolk say, abound: the day of the week the survey is
taken, the weather, how someone reacted to previous survey questions … as a
start. Oishi argues that's a reason to overinvest in multiple methods of
tracking happiness.
Maybe he's onto something.
According to the 2013 World Happiness Report, the U.S. tripled its per capita
income over the last few decades but has seen "significant declines"
in happiness levels over time. Moreover, some countries around the world
already measure happiness, including Bhutan's erstwhile Gross National
Happiness and the U.K.'s National Well-being Index. (Though Bhutan, in full
disclosure, bailed on the happiness measure last year.) Yet some critics say
that a happiness index is too "fuzzy" for serious policymaking.
"We have more accurate tools of measuring depression than we do of
happiness, unfortunately," said Mark Setton, founder of Pursuit-Of-Happiness.org.
And the wording of the surveys is especially tricky, he explained, as many of
them use different words to describe happiness.
So, maybe happiness won't
exactly make the world go 'round, as Oishi and Diener would hope. But perhaps a
dose of happiness policy could get Congress to do a little less ranting.
OZY is a USA TODAY content
partner providing general news, commentary and coverage from around the Web.
Its content is produced independently of USA TODAY
Look for the good and you will find the good
Generous Stranger Secretly Pays
Off Every Layaway Account at Toys R Us
At the Toys-R-Us store in
Bellingham, Massachusetts a complete stranger became an angel for 154
customers.
Around noon on Wednesday, a
woman walked into the store and told a cashier she wanted to pay off a layaway
balance. “Which one?” she was asked.
“All of them,” she replied. For
a total of $20,000.
“I have no words. I can’t
believe someone would do that, it’s so nice,” said one of the customers who had
their balances erased.
You cannot add to the peace and good will of the world if you fail to create
You cannot add
to the peace and good will of the world if you fail to create an atmosphere of
harmony and love right where you live and work. -- Thomas Dreier
A Hairstylist Provides Free Cuts to the Homeless
By ALYSON KRUEGERDEC. 10, 2014
David Terry is 50 years old,
H.I.V. positive and homeless. He spends his nights at Bailey House, a nonprofit
in Harlem that provides housing for people living with H.I.V., and his days
wandering the streets. “I get very depressed because it’s like I’m on the
treadmill going 80 miles an hour with the brakes on,” he said.
But for one hour the other
Sunday, life slowed down to a happy pace. Sitting on a park bench on the corner
of East Houston and Chrystie Streets, Mr. Terry was getting a haircut from Mark
Bustos, a professional stylist with a celebrity clientele.
“Can you believe this is
happening?” Mr. Terry said, a white bib wrapped around his neck, cigarette in
hand and Stevie Wonder’s “Conversation Peace” playing in the background. An
hour later, he looked in the mirror, and saw that his messy mop was now a
stylish flattop. “Yeah, baby, I’ve still got it,” he said, striking a victory
pose. “I’m the king of the world.”
Every Sunday, Mark Bustos, 30,
a hairstylist at Three Squares Studios, an elite salon in Chelsea that charges
$150 to clients like Norah Jones, Marc Jacobs and Phillip Lim, hits the
sidewalk and provides free cuts to the homeless.
Mr. Bustos often wanders around
Union Square, the Lower East Side and Midtown, where he has gotten to know some
of the homeless by name. “See that guy over there,” he said, walking down the
Bowery. “That’s Cowboy Ritchie,” whose wife, Mr. Bustos added, “wants him to
shave his beard off because it looks too good and the other women flirt with
him.”
Other times, Mr. Bustos meets
his unsuspecting new clients through friends and paying clients, who tell him
about people in their neighborhoods. He does up to 10 haircuts a day.
He started offering haircuts to
the homeless two years ago. The idea, he says, is to simply give back. “Whether
I’m giving one at work or on the street, I think we can all relate to the
haircut and how it makes us feel,” Mr. Bustos said. “We all know what it feels
like to get a good haircut.”
In some way, Mr. Bustos, who
lives in Jersey City, has always been generous about hairstyling, which he
taught himself at a young age. When he was 14, Mr. Bustos set up a chair in his
parents’ garage in Nutley, N.J., and cut friends’ hair for free, so they could
pocket the barbershop money they got from their parents.
A 2012 trip to the Philippines
to visit family made him realize he could do more. He was struck by the number
of impoverished children and decided to rent a barbershop as his way of
helping. “It made me feel so good,” Mr. Bustos said. “It was right to bring it
home to New York.” Since then, he has spent most Sundays in New York, styling
the hair of the homeless.
Mary E. Brosnahan, the
president and chief executive of Coalition for the Homeless, a nonprofit
advocacy group, said that a haircut is often more than a haircut. It can remind
the homeless of who they once were, and offer a rosier version of their
current, shattered selves. “It helps shift the gear out of survival mode,” Ms.
Brosnahan said, letting them envision a better life.
Joi Gordon, the chief executive
officer of Dress for Success, which provides professional clothes to homeless
job seekers, has similar stories of transformation. “For most women, this is
the first time that they’ve ever put on a suit in their lives,” she said. “That
blazer really serves as a life jacket.”
Mr. Bustos tells a similar
story of a homeless man who once looked in the mirror after a haircut, saw his
fresh look and said: “Do you know anyone who is hiring. I’m ready to go get a
job.” Mr. Bustos hasn’t seen him on the street since, something he considers a
good sign.
His haircuts are always
conducted on the street. If a park bench is not available, Mr. Bustos will find
a milk crate or turn over a shopping cart. Rain or freezing temperatures do not
deter him. (Since many homeless do not have regular access to washrooms, Mr.
Bustos wears gloves, carefully disposes of hair clippings and disinfects his
tools between every cut, just as he does with his equipment at work.)
“I do it on the streets, on the
sidewalks, in the parks,” he said, “so people who walk by can find some
inspiration in what I do.”
That is the same reason that
Devin Masga, a street photographer, accompanies him and posts before-and-after
photos to Mr. Bustos’s Instagram feed with the hashtag #BeAwesomeToSomebody.
Mr. Bustos has more than 215,000 Instagram followers, some of whom donate
supplies and gift cards, or ask how they can get help. “People ask me if I can
come out with you or join your team,” he said. “My answer is just go and do
it.”
“Just because they live on the
street looking a little scruffy with their hair long doesn’t mean they can’t
clean up and look great,” he added.
‘You’ve Gotta Be Kidding’ Waitress Told Strangers Who Wanted to Replace Her Beat Up Car
by Good News Network
Her car was barely drivable
after multiple run-ins with deer on roadways. She covered two windows with
plastic and cardboard and held together the front end with a strap.
Cindi Grady was depressed
because this might be the second Christmas without a tree and few presents for
her disabled son. As a server at the Cracker Barrel restaurant in Branson,
Missouri, she didn’t know how she would pay for it all.
Then, while at work, she got a
$20 tip — twice the normal size — and thought things were looking up. The
couple at the table had been semi-regulars in the restaurant over the summer.
Suddenly Cindy’s boss told her
to put down the tray and follow her. She was wracking her brain to figure out
what she had done to warrant a conference with management, but instead of the
office, she was led outside to the parking lot where the couple was standing
next to a silver car with a red bow on it.
“They told me they had seen me
come to work all summer in my shabby car and wanted to bless me with a 2008
Ford Fusion,” wrote Cindi on Facebook.
Gary and Roxann Tackett from
Quitman, Arkansas handed over the keys and paperwork to the car they had just
purchased especially for Cindy. “It’s not new, but it’s new for you,” the Gary
said as he held open the door for her.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me,”
she said through tears. “No way.”
“I’m still shell shocked,” she
wrote later. “Now I can concentrate on catching up with my bills so my son can
enjoy the upcoming holiday as well…This year is so much different thanks to the
Tacketts.”
She even put deer whistles on
her new car to alert the animals to stay away.
How to Be Happier
by Aisha Sultan
There are times when a foggy
malaise can settle into a spot. Even when cracks of sunlight break through this
vapor, a heaviness lingers.
Despite being a reporter -- a
job where we're conditioned to notice and document what's wrong, unfair, tragic
and broken -- I usually enjoy being a happy and positive person. But there has
been so much striking and detailed pain on display in our world recently.
This summer, the gruesome
images of the war in Gaza were soon joined by heartbreaking ones out of
Ferguson. Couple this with the fact that my generation has entered that period
of life when there's a steady stream of devastating personal news among our
peers: Parents (or even children) die, alarming diagnoses are more common, and
friends divorce.
We have been through cycles of
tragedy, death and destruction before. But this prolonged dark period provoked
a deeper anxiety in me. From the personal to the political, the onslaught of
bad news has felt relentless.
It was in the midst of this run
of gloominess that I decided to embark on a happiness project. Not happiness as
in a constant state of chipper: Some of the most outwardly cheerful people I've
known have been deeply unhappy inside. But happiness in the way that
psychologists have defined it: the pleasure of feeling good; engagement in
living a good life with family, friends, work and hobbies; and finding meaning
in being able to use our strengths toward a greater purpose.
Is it possible to increase
those pieces of happiness, thereby becoming happier?
There's an entire body of
research that looks at ways to make people happier in life and work. I sifted
through some of this positive psychology analysis and watched the most popular
TED talk on the subject.
Positive psychology experts
Shawn Achor and Michelle Gielan have written extensively about the habits that
can train our brains to think more positively, which they argue leads to our
brains making us feel happier. Scientists say there's a biochemical process at
work: Positive emotions like love and joy release dopamine and serotonin into
our brains. This biochemical wash helps our brain process new information,
think more quickly and creatively, and connect better with others.
Achor and Gielan suggest that
incorporating these five daily habits for as little as 21 days can make us
happier:
1. Write down three unique and
new things you are grateful for every day. This teaches the brain to scan for
new, good things.
2. Spend a few minutes writing
down in detail the most meaningful moment from your day. This allows you to
relive what made it meaningful for you.
3. Praise or thank a different
person in your social network every day, either by email or phone, for
something specific. This will remind your brain of the support around you.
4. Exercise for 15 minutes a
day. The effects can be as powerful as taking an antidepressant.
5. Take two minutes to meditate
and breathe. Pay attention to your inhale and exhale. It will focus your
attention and lower stress.
I tried to do all five habits
and recorded my efforts daily for 21 days last month. I just kept a log in a
note in my iPhone where I documented results at night. The only ones I did
religiously for three weeks were listing three new gratitudes each day,
describing the most meaningful moment and thanking a person for a specific act
each day. The 15 minutes of exercise was hit or miss. I completely failed on
the meditating. That was very challenging.
About a third of my meaningful
moments were with my children. The rest were through interactions at work, with
friends or with people who were essentially strangers. It was revealing to keep
track of which moments actually moved me during the day.
And, the researchers were
absolutely correct. While I was committed to this task, I became more attuned
to the good things, no matter how small. I spent more minutes in my day
contemplating the positive. I felt more grateful and engaged with people and connected
to the meaning in my life.
A few times, I struggled to
come up with a meaningful moment or a different person to thank. On the days I
was very tired, it felt like a chore. But overall, I think it lifted my spirit
in a way that had been missing for a while.
When things looked especially
bleak, this happiness project was an antidote.
The only defense we have
against the at-times overwhelming and random pain in this life is belligerent
happiness.
