“Travel and tell no one. Live a true love story and tell no one. Live
happily and tell no one. People ruin beautiful things.” Khalil Gibran
Paraprosdokians
First time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them.
Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or
phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Winston
Churchill loved them).
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in
public.
6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
7 Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not
putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal
from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In
case of
emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor."
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down
the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a
parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
14 To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call
whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more
than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting
harder and harder for me to find one now.
“I can’t explain what I mean.
“I can’t explain what I mean. And even if I could, I’m not
sure I’d feel like it.” J.D. Salinger,
The Catcher in the Rye
Understand me.
“Understand me. I’m not like an ordinary world. I have my
madness, I live in another dimension and I do not have time for things that
have no soul.” Charles Bukowski
